How can I get it to have sex with me?

>>256667
You have to ask her nicely. Remember just to whisper.
Or just stick it in her pooper just like that.

More living statues! Paste the one with red/brown stuff coming out of it.

>>256661
This is so poorly-written and contrived.
You can tell that somebody looked at the picture and tried to make it more creepy than it really is by embellishing upon details in the pictures.
Like the "brown material" which is actually the color of the void in the statue's face.

fail all around.
It's not easy to repeat the success of something original, like the giant stone golem thing.

The angels have the phone box.

>>256889
Yet more of these will probably be made anyways, with standards of quality spiraling downwards until it becomes as bad as the holders series

>>256661
y, hello thar.

is there a link to all of these?

Original content? On MY /x/? It's more likely than you think.

...and will probably continue in a sequence of ever more awful golem-related stories until it approaches the level of dullness and unoriginality in the holders series.

copypasta.

>>257571
hello?

>>257590
>>256889
Unless we edit it to make it better...

>>256661
A golem that doesn't attack until you try to fuck with it isn't nearly as scary as a golem that attacks anything that moves, and won't move within a line of sight. It's all about fear of the unknown. If you can clearly see it moving, it's no longer as scary.

>>257619
what is this REALLY?

At least someone tried to add more to the series. That's something more than most anyone here would ever try to do.

If there are more, perhaps they're not all golems. Perhaps there are more variations to the SCP items.

I personally think more should be written. The Holders series got boring because that's ALL there was that was a collaborative. Of course as soon as something like this comes along everyone has to whine about it.

needs work. but it sounds like a good starter point

GIS results for "kato4.jpg".

>>257641If there are more, perhaps they're not all golems. Perhaps there are more variations to the SCP items.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. If there's at least 246 things with such a generic name as "special containment procedures," they can't ALL be golem. But the question is, are they all magical? Some of them should be weird science. And they shouldn't all have "personnel report blablabla, this is normal behaviour and any change should be reported" at the end.

>>257645
So, get to it /x/.
Someone make a bri/x/shitting SCP item that doesn't follow the OP's formula.

We'll be waiting.

EDIT:
Item#: SCP-246
Current Location: Item SCP-246 is located in Hedge Garden #2, south of the containment building and is not to be approached by personal.

Special Containment Procedures: Do NOT approach Item SCP-246. It is hostile if threatened. It reacts violently to anyone nearby (1-2 meters of statue). Any verbal speech patterns above a whisper in range will also cause the statue to attack, usually by bludgeoning them to death with its rock appendages.

NO personnel are to move SCP-246.

In the event of an attack, personnel are to observe Class 3 hazardous object containment procedures.


Description: Moved to Site19's garden area in 1999. Origin seems to be Greek although further studies have noticed an archaic language of unknown origin in various places. It seems to be constructed from limestone although there are traces of unknown rock throughout the item's exterior. As well the rate of corrosion due to rain water is not consistent with natural deposits of limestone. The object does not self-animate unless first touched by human interaction or if spoken in front of. The right side of the item's face seems to have been broken off by an unknown object.
Personnel report sounds of a woman moaning after midnight until dawn in the vicinity of SCP-246. This is considered normal, and any change in this behavior should be reported to the acting HMCL supervisor on duty.

All personnel are reminded to maintain the necessary precautions when cleaning the garden area.


(any other ideas /x/?)

>>257669
>It reacts violently to anyone nearby (1-2 meters of statue)
>The object does not self-animate unless first touched by human interaction or if spoken in front of.

Contradiction. First part says you have to keep your distance from it, second part says you can be near it but just don't touch it.

>>257676
Ok...

Item#: SCP-246
Current Location: Item SCP-246 is located in Hedge Garden #2, south of the containment building and is not to be approached by personal.

Special Containment Procedures: Do NOT approach Item SCP-246. It is hostile if threatened. It reacts violently to anyone nearby (1-2 meters of statue). Any verbal speech patterns above a whisper in range will also cause the statue to attack, usually by bludgeoning them to death with its rock appendages.

NO personnel are to move SCP-246.

In the event of an attack, personnel are to observe Class 3 hazardous object containment procedures.


Description: Moved to Site19's garden area in 1999. Origin seems to be Greek although further studies have noticed an archaic language of unknown origin in various places. It seems to be constructed from limestone although there are traces of unknown rock throughout the item's exterior. As well the rate of corrosion due to rain water is not consistent with natural deposits of limestone. The object does not self-animate unless first touched by human interaction or if spoken in front of within a one to two meter range. The right side of the item's face seems to have been broken off by an unknown object.
Personnel report sounds of a woman moaning after midnight until dawn in the vicinity of SCP-246. This is considered normal, and any change in this behavior should be reported to the acting HMCL supervisor on duty.

All personnel are reminded to maintain the necessary precautions when cleaning the garden area.

Oh, and how about 246 doesn't harm animals, only humans. If a bird lands on it or a dog sniffs at it it doesn't do anything; it only grows hostile around humans.

>>257679
I like that...

Item#: SCP-246
Current Location: Item SCP-246 is located in Hedge Garden #2, south of the containment building and is not to be approached by personal.

Special Containment Procedures: Do NOT approach Item SCP-246. It is hostile if threatened. It reacts violently to anyone nearby (1-2 meters of statue). Any verbal speech patterns above a whisper in range will also cause the statue to attack, usually by bludgeoning them to death with its rock appendages.

NO personnel are to move SCP-246.

In the event of an attack, personnel are to observe Class 3 hazardous object containment procedures.


Description: Moved to Site19's garden area in 1999. Origin seems to be Greek although further studies have noticed an archaic language of unknown origin in various places. It seems to be constructed from limestone although there are traces of unknown rock throughout the item's exterior. As well the rate of corrosion due to rain water is not consistent with natural deposits of limestone. Aswell, non-human life forms (birds, canines, felines)are not affected by the statue and birds have been reported to rest on the statues head. The object does not self-animate unless first touched by human interaction or if spoken in front of within a one to two meter range. The right side of the item's face seems to have been broken off by an unknown object.

Personnel report sounds of a woman moaning after midnight until dawn in the vicinity of SCP-246. This is considered normal, and any change in this behavior should be reported to the acting HMCL supervisor on duty.

All personnel are reminded to maintain the necessary precautions when cleaning the garden area.

>>257619
Does this statue have a story for it yet?

>>257619
Item#:SPC-045

Current Location: Security locker room 14G.

Special Containment Procedures: SPC-045 is non-violent, unlike other collected items and as such does not require special protection for maintenance staff. It does not self-animate nor does it require the activation or interaction of human/non-human lifeforms to animate it. SPC-045 does however have some interesting properties accustom to its exposure to the visible wave spectrum. Most noticeably, as seen in the cataloging photo *seen right*, it reacts to light by changing the color of its paints. Security and maintenance personnel report the statue changes color every time they check Sec.LR 14G on their daily rounds.

ANY change in this behavior should be reported to the acting HMCL supervisor on duty.

It is advised that security and maintenance staff take a digital camera to record any new color variations they may encounter with SPC-045.

Description: First discovered in 1974.
Location of first discovery is classified. Location of second discovery is classified.
It is comprised of a solid hardwood and is covered from top to bottom with a lead-based paint.
An estimated 147 unique color variations have been recorded since its move here and their meaning has yet to be deciphered.

I know maybe I sound like a dick by saying this, but since the original is SCP 137, maybe this one should be SCP-136. And it counts down, as opposed to the holders which count up. and SCP-1 could be like, the cursed bones of Draculajesus or something.

>>257686
Very good.

>>257752
Yes!

>>257756
I like that.

You know we're going to have people bitch about this idea, but screw 'em.

Is anyone keeping track of these?

I think there are four right now. Hoax or not, they're still cool.

Any chance someone is cataloging them on a website?

Item#: SCP-921

Current Location: Item SCP-921 is currently housed in the Quarantine Pit, located behind Hedge Garden #2. New statues that have yet to have a special enclosure are often put here.

Description: Statue seems to be of a South/Southeast Asian Demonic representation yet is unlike many commonly seen. A single, large bulging eye is seen carved onto the the right side of the statue and below it is a large proboscis-like tongue/fang curved down what seems to be a mouth. The eye seems to hold a psychologically attractive feature and many personnel report being compelled to stroke the bulging orb. Personnel are warned not to do so, as once one is within the striking distance of the statue and human contact is made with the eye, the appendage below it will strike the area in its immediate vicinity. The first few personnel who recovered the statue suffered massive puncture wounds in the thoracic and abdominal area. The safest way to approach the statue and examine it was to avoid direct visual contact with its eye. Examinations made on the moss growing all over the statues bottom reveals high levels of iron and animal protein.

All personnel are reminded to maintain the necessary precautions and must never venture near its vicinity unaccompanied.

my take on this series, yes it may suck though, but the statue has potential, anyone have more shit-bricking ideas for this one?

>>257894

I like it. :D
Although perhaps keep it under SCP-200 or possibly in a lower number (300 series?) for now so that once that fills up, there's plenty of room for more.

Okay, while on the whole I disagree with making more in the SCP-173 vein, if you must, can we at least vary the theme a little, as opposed to "LOL IT'S A STATUE THAT KILZ U LOL"?

>>257897
>>257898

hmmm... let's try again then

Item#: SCP-269

Current Location: Item SCP-269 is currently housed in the Quarantine Pit, located behind Hedge Garden #2. New statues that have yet to have a special enclosure are often put here.

Description: Statue seems to be of a South/Southeast Asian Demonic representation yet is unlike many commonly seen. A single, large bulging eye is seen carved onto the the right side of the statue and below it is a large proboscis-like tongue/fang curved down what seems to be a mouth. The eye seems to hold a psychologically attractive feature and many personnel report being compelled to stroke the bulging orb. Personnel are warned not to do so, as once one is within the striking distance of the statue and human contact is made with the eye, the appendage below it will strike the area in its immediate vicinity. The appendage then exhibits an effect that can be described as capillarity and proceeds to absorb blood from it's target. The compelling nature of the eye makes the victim lose all of its will power and if not quickly assisted and removed from the statues grasp, victim dies of massive blood loss. The first few personnel who recovered the statue suffered massive puncture wounds in the thoracic and abdominal area. The safest way to approach the statue and examine it was to avoid direct visual contact with its eye. Examinations made on the moss growing all over the statues bottom reveals high levels of iron and animal protein.

All personnel are reminded to maintain the necessary precautions and must never venture near its vicinity unaccompanied.

I'm liking this

have some which arent statues though
like paintings or something maybe?

Paintings... ventriloquist dolls...
Can't think of anything else right now.
The whole purpose is to have a somewhat human face but I guess we'll just have to see what happens.

http://z7.invisionfree.com/Site_19/index.php?act=idx

Pictures, dolls, human-like objects perhaps.

>>256661

"...that statue is object number 330 of 538. It will bend to your will and your will alone."

>>257911

Bumpu for moar content...

Item: SCP - 78
Special Containment Procedures: Do not approach without the use of supplied goggles and gas mask. Doing so is to risk severe injury and infection.

Description: Item quarenteened at Site #192 for further study after incident (See file ref #272-407: Item 78). Item appears to be a sculpture of a man in hood. Personnel report feeling of immense horror and drowsiness when in close proximity of Item 78 without equipment (see SCP). Sculpture appears to release a lethal gas using many chemical combinations currently being tested on. Personnel are also advised that statue moves around Site #192. Any movement of statue are to immediately be reported to Site Supervisor.

>>257966

very good! i like that, it's more unique/original

if I was rich I'd totally make a museum of these with the stories, just to fuck with people's heads

Item#: 122
Special Containment Procedures: Item is animated, and will attempt to strike at personnel based on personnel's political preference. Personnel of Right-wing preference are to be advised to stay away from Item 122, lest severe injury through concussion and blunt force trauma will occur.

Description: Relocated to Lab 703a. Item 122 is a manikin with a skull mask, a business suit and holds a sign bearing the title: "Hello, my name is Capitalism". Item is to be kept isolated at all times. If item is to be moved, modified or examined, only personnel with a Left wing preference may do so. All other procedure see ref (Item#: 5A)

Item# : 188
Special Procedure: Item is to be contained in air-tight container or other sealable object. If personnel are to be in contact with object 188, biohazard precautions should be followed and applied as if item is a class 9 hazardous object. Item is animated, and thus caution should be applied when in immediate contact with Item 188.

Description: Item moved to Vault 12 in 1983. Item appears to be a white decayed carcass of a marine animal which has yet to be identified. Item regularly moves violently within storage. Any breaches of quarenteen protocol are to immediately be reported to Vault Supervisor.

>>257979
that's kind of lame

>>257981
I like it but it needs something more.. or different..

Item#: 239
Special Procedure: Item is extremely contagious. Do not approach Item 239 under any circumstances and is to be destroyed on sight outside of Area 8, Site 12B and Site 989. If personnel come into contact with Item 239, personnel are advised to destroy themselves to prevent contagion reaching outside mentioned areas.

Description: Item 239 is the Soviet Communist Party, made up of communist leaders such as Marx, Stalin and Lenin, as well as associates and followers. Caution strongly advised.

NOTE: ITEM 239 DESTROYED 1991 (Ref:Event1299238).

ITEM#: 62
Special Containment Procedure: Item 62 is a mind control device. Certain Personnel feel the violent urge to pick up Item 62 and put it on the facial region. This can result in Item 62 taking over the mind and body of Personnel. This is strongly advised against. Item 62 will attempt to use host personnel for reasons which are unclear at present time, however reason will usually involve the injury and / or death of personnel.

Description: Item 62 is a mask made out of an unknown wooden material. Form changes between a warthogs facial area to various other forms, including but not limited to: Actors mask, eye patch, spectacles and goggles. Item is of particular concern to personnel that use spectacles or other forms of eye wear, protective or other. If personnel is suspected of wearing Item 62, immediately contact Security Supervisor.

>>257590
More likely and way more unfortunate.
These are so fail.

>>257996
Jesus Christ, that is so poorly-written.
I don't think that official government documents say things like
>put it on the facial region
or
>This is strongly advised against
And if I had to guess, i would say that they could consistently capitalize the word "personnel"

>>257981
Government officials should know that
>quarenteen
isn't a word.
They go to such extreme lengths to ensure the safety of personnel and the public but they don't even make sure that the people they've hired to write these procedural documents can spell.
I don't know about you but that's worthy of a few bri/x/!

Bri/x/ shat.

I love these (except for the last few). I may add to it when I can think of something.

>>257979
My take on this photo:

Item#: 122A
Special Containment Procedures: Item does not animate, nor does it have any known psychological or physical effects on human/non-human lifeforms. Item does not require any special maintenance or cleaning procedure.

Description: Found 1994 in New York city on the body of dead political protester. *Only known photo shown right* Relocated to Lab 703a. Item 122A is a paper mache skull mask and is partnered with Item 122B *also shown in photo right*. Item is to be kept in storage locker 7G next to Item 122B. An interesting property of Item 122A is that all attempts to photograph it (either through traditional chemical photography or modern digital photography) have failed. The images are badly distorted and deemed unusable for identification. The cause of this is unknown.
Item#: 122B
Special Containment Procedures: Item does not animate, nor does it have any known psychological or physical effects on human/non-human lifeforms. Item does not require any special maintenance or cleaning procedure.

Description: A cardboard sign bearing the title: "Hello, my name is Capitalism". The words are written in black permanent marker. This item is partnered with item 122A and to be kept next to it in storage locker 7G.

All other procedure see ref (Item#: 5A)

(feel free to edit at will)

>>258125

I like this one. logically instead of a photo to the right, you'd have a drawing (sciencey-diagram) of it, since you can't take photos of it.

>>258144
What I was thinking was that for some reason the first photo of it worked but when the protector in the photo died, you couldn't take photos of the mask anymore

Item#: SCP-065
Special Containment Procedures: Item SPC-065 should be handle with utmost care to ensure it will not break. The small statue appears to be made from a material with the same frailty as eggshells.

Item SCP-65 is an inanimate statue about two feet tall. The item was found in the ruins of an ancient temple, area classified.

Item SCP-65 talks but does not move. The object speaks in The Korean language. SPC-65 says two things , it says "Break me and you will see hell"
constantly. It will say this thirty seven times every minute on average. The second saying is "Touch me and see heaven". Item SPC-65 will only say this once a month every full moon at 12:04 AM

A guard who understood Korean touched the object after it had said this,he suddenly began screaming and crying. Before he could be taken in for observation he committed suicide. Cause unknown at this time

anyone seen touching the object will be apprehended and punished accordingly.

(Item SCP-65 has since been move to Arizona cell
holding facility in March 1997. A similar situation as mentioned above happened twice more Item-65 is now in a locked vault to avoid this incident from happening again)

For the love of god, stop writing these.
They're embarrassing to read.

>>258158

AWESOME

bravo to you!!

>>258160

if you dont like it go read something else and stop saging. it only works once per person anyway.

These are starting to remind me of http://www.warehouse23.com/basement/box/index.html?level=2

>>258163
I don't see how anybody could like these.
The people writing them are trying so hard to enduce bri/x/ and then failing even harder.

>>258161
Thanks, glad you liked it

>>258171

because I happen to enjoy reading stories? geez. It's not scary, but it's still interesting, same reason I read ghost stories.

>>258171
See
>>258172
Clearly your trying to make us feel bad...But your in the minority my friend. I enjoy these and although they need work they should be interesting when their finished..

Also we shouldnt make too many IMO..don't want it to spawn out of control like the holder series...

>>258158
Could be better if it didn't talk as often..like when it says "Break me and you will see hell" could be only when its approached by someone

>>258187
I agree with this, so it's as if it feels threatened by the fact that someone's near it, so it's warning you...

>>258188
>>258187
Alright,

Item#: SCP-065
Special Containment Procedures: Item SPC-065 should be handle with utmost care to ensure it will not break. The small statue appears to be made from a material with the same frailty as eggshells.

Item SCP-65 is an inanimate statue about two feet tall. The item was found in the ruins of an ancient temple, area classified.

Item SCP-65 talks but does not move. The object speaks in The Korean language. SPC-65 says two things , it says "Break me and you will see hell".Item SCP-65 will say this constantly when approached in a manner it doesn't like. The second saying is "Touch me and see heaven". Item SPC-65 will only say this once a month every full moon at 12:04 AM

A guard who understood Korean touched the object after it had said this,he suddenly began screaming and crying. Before he could be taken in for observation he committed suicide. Cause unknown at this time

anyone seen touching the object will be apprehended and punished accordingly.

(Item SCP-65 has since been move to Arizona cell
holding facility in March 1997. A similar situation as mentioned above happened twice more Item-65 is now in a locked vault to avoid this incident from happening again)

Hows that?

>>258183
Exactly.
There are only about 10 interesting stories in the holder series and the rest are almost unintelligible.
This little series seemed to have hit its peak really early on, as in the first entry, and that was a pretty low peak.
I just don't want people to waste their time on something that's basically destined for fail.
There's more interesting things that everyone could be doing/writing to contribute to /x/.

>>258180
These aren't interesting, though.
They're boring, repetitive, poorly-written and contrived.

tem#: SCP-069
Special Containment Procedures: Item SPC-069 should be handled with utmost care to ensure it will not ask you to 'hit it one more time'. The sublime and yet very revealing statue is said to be made from a white, trashy material. Similar to hardened Maalox.

Item SCP-069 is an animate statue about five feet tall. The item was found in the ruins of an area somewhere in Hollywood after a night of binge drinking by some roudy, gay frat brothers.

Item SCP-069 talks and moves. The object speaks in ebonics. SPC-65 says three things , that being "damn my fucking poontang is itchy and chaffing." After saying this, it will bend over and assume the doggy style position. Item SCP-069 will say this constantly when approached in any manner by a male that has the tiniest inkling of sticking it in its pooper. The second saying is "Touch me and my warm pussy will fuck your cock forever". Item SPC-069 will only say this once a month every new moon at exactly 13:13, and it seems to get a moist, and pungent aroma from the crotch area. Almost like vagoo juices.

A bix nood who was quietly drinking some malt liquor and eating chicken on his lunch break spit out his watermelon when he heard the statue say this. Seeing that he was alone, he decided to go for it and stuck his penor in the statues pooper. Little is known of what happened to the bix nood, but one thing is certain...

The statue is one of the three legendary cockmonglers.

>>258206
Before he could be taken in for observation he became an hero, and asked that an iPod be placed on his gravestone. Of course, since it was a nigra no one gave a fuck and just tossed him in the landfill.

Anyone seen sodomizing the statue will henceforth be cockmongled. You have been warned.

(Item SCP-069 has since been move to an undisclosed location in the South due to it being less aggressive and more approachable in the hot humid weather. A similar situation as mentioned above has happened four more times in the past year. Item-069 is now in an underground holding facility and being studied around the clock by /b/ scientists, possibly for the development of animate sex robots.)

For further research, refer to Item SPC-042.

>>258190
I like!

>>258195
in my opinion it's interesting, in yours it's not.

>>258206
>>258207
...
actually if you re-wrote that with the same basic idea, a statue that tries to get you to fuck it and smells weird, that would be quite freaky.

>>258125

This is the best of these so far. The other ones seem either somewhat unprofessional, or just generally uninspired.

>>257756SCP-1 could be like, the cursed bones of Draculajesus or something
Spoiler: SCP-1 is Holder #538.

>>258206
See, this is exactly what I was talking about.
Just like the holders series, someone had to come along and fag this whole thing up by trying to be funny.

>>258339

Disregard that, I suck cocks.

DON'T BLINK

Item #: SCP-135
Current location: Item SCP-135 is located in Containment Room 6, underneath the garden area.

Special Containment Procedures: Item is an animate statue of extreme aggression. After several failed attempts at pacifying the object, it has been placed in a solitary locked room for an indefinite amount of time. Under no circumstances are personnel to enter SCP-135's cell, as death or extreme injury are unavoidable. The statue seems to have the ability to bend light, and as such is almost never where you think it to be. If the cell appears empty, do not open it. It can make itself nearly invisible, and will do everything in its power to escape if it sees a chance at freedom.

Description: A statue of African handiwork, composed of a yet unidentified hardwood. Found 1990 in an undisclosed Egyptian city. It almost always stays still, only animating when it sees a chance to escape or kill. Has the ability to bend light around its body, allowing it to hide itself expertly even in a small room. Attacking the item is usually futile, as its real form is nowhere near the image it casts. It attacks by bludgeoning wildly with its fists. Its strength, although not measured, appears to be immense from the mangled bodies of its victims.