File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
So did anyone save the HowToKill stories, or am I fucked?

Pic unrelated.
>> Anonymous
I'm pretty sure someone saved them, since I've seen someone copypasta them before. But I'm in the same boat as OP I've been looking for them for past couple weeks, someone please give plox.
>> Anonymous
bump, anyone?
>> Anonymous
HowToKill/x/ is the best thing that's happened to /x/ in a long time.
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
just for those comments

you>>454487

and

you>>454557

get custom How To Kills, fresh baked. What do you want to do in?
>> Anonymous
>>454563

not op or>>454557

But finally! I'm going to put these up on wikichan, once you're done with them.
>> Anonymous
>>454563

>>454557here


cloverfield monster, just for the hell of it
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
>>454570
shit, haha.. i didn't see it. I plan to, but this first week of classes didn't allow me much time. Got a second choice?
>> Anonymous
>>454570
Wait, what? I was>>454557. And why ask for Cloverfield Monster stories? Sheesh. Anyway, I don't want to force anything out of you HTK.
>> Anonymous
>>454573
damn... heh... i wish i remember everything you already 'killed'... how about human, but never actually mention that you're killing people? that'd be interesting, especially once it gets old enough to repost and people are like "huh what?" and shit bri/x/ when they realize what it's about. or maybe i'm just a misanthrope
>> Anonymous
Please pick something good, you guys. Angels, Mermaids, Bogarts, SOMETHING.
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
>>454574
no, no, I insist.

>>454579as for you, my aspiring jeffrey dahmer, the army's already written tons of great guides on how to kill people.. and I wrote a decent one on a similar topic- how to kill a fetch, or doppleganger. I hate to be so picky and keep disappointing.
>> Anonymous
I just got an idea. How about doing something about what happened to Iodine Room Guy.
>> Anonymous
>>454593
He was a lying faggot, why waste talent on him?
>> Anonymous
>>454593
He logged off and fapped whilst laughing about HOW FUCKING RETARDED YOU ARE.
>> Anonymous
HTK do you have a file with all of the HTK's or a site? If you it would be much appreciated.
>> Anonymous
>>454593
DON'T DO THIS.
>> Anonymous
OP here. I think "How to Kill an Angel" would be highly interesting if done right. Alternately, How to Kill: Your Reflection, Legion, a Mermaid, or a Shadow. I appreciate the offer, but I know many have been written already; could we get those up here, too?
>> Anonymous
OP here. I´d like to know how to kill an Angel. If not that, some horrid mutation, ancient creature of yore, or maybe even something having to do with a ghost ship.
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
>>454593
IRG and others like him bother me. I have trouble understanding why /x/ers read long, poorly written first person posts about fictional crap, but then again, they read my long, poorly written first person crap too.

>>454605
I didn't save the original 3 batches or so because I didn't think they'd be that good- but I remember people saying "saved" so, it's out there somewhere. As for a site, i don't, really, but if you need to contact me, email me at the above address. I hesitated to give it out, but as the man once said, fuck it.

Let's do an angel, shall we?
>> Anonymous
Oops, sorry about that. Slow Internet is slow.
>> Anonymous
>>454609
>>454613
Two OP's?
>> Anonymous
>>454614
FUCK YEAH ANGELS
>> Anonymous
>>454614
I highly suggest you start a site, or find a site that will host your stuff. Who knows, you may even make some money from this in the future.
>> Anonymous
/r/ing the lich one
>> Anonymous
>>454614
Angel sounds good to me.

Reflection was also a good idea.. but that fits in with doppleganger I suppose.
>> Anonymous
>>454625
Seconding this. Just get a simple Freewebs or something, /x/ would lap it up. I know I would.
>> Anonymous
>>454631
While we're at it, why not a God? Or, if you're feel the need for a personal touch to it, the Christian God?
>> Anonymous
>>454639
Stupidest idea yet.
Go back to to your PROVE ME WRONG boards.
>> Anonymous
>>454639
Any Chaote can tell you how to kill a god -- Stop believing in it, works every time, even on the christian god! belief is the lifeblood of gods, if you cease to believe in them, they become as good as dead to you.
>> Anonymous
>>454618

No, both are me. But I got 404´d after posting the first reply so I figured it didn´t load.

>>454639

Going way too far. Gods are Gods for a reason; you wouldn´t find a way to kill Them in a manual. Angels is already taking it up a notch, but they´re still comfortably lesser beings in the hierarchy or supernatural things. At least the lower angels, not Seraphim and Cherubim and shit.
>> Anonymous
>>454636
hell a simple wiki would be better, but that'd invite idiots to come in and start writing their own, then it'd be the next holders, like SCP is now.. so that's out.
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
     File :-(, x)
The angel's inclusion in this bestiary will no doubt prove controversial, I myself offer that the only angels requiring dispatching are fallen ones, and thus it is the duty of all good pewmen to slay them wherever they're found.

Profoundly beautiful, wearing unsullied white robes, possessing large eyes without pupils and endowed with incredible strength, the angel is rarely if ever encountered by even the most ambitious student of cryptozoology. I myself had been in the field nearly twelve years before encountering one named Ga'az in Lebanon. He claimed to be the Devil who tempted Christ, and offered me the four keys which give a man eternal life. I refused; his first blow left a deep impression in my stomach which is still barely visible now, to this day I have no idea how I managed to stand and level my revolver at him.

Angels are swift but are bound to doing violence only through conventional physical contact (that is, using the head and limbs). They are fine wrestlers and boxers, but all angelic swordsmen defend Heaven. I was lucky not to come across the six solemn archangels, this messenger was dispatched with two rounds of silver to the chest.

It should be noted that upon death an angel emits a sound like a trumpet, and his colleagues, hell-bound or not, will come to carry his body home. I have only born witness to such a spectacle once; I assure you, once was enough.
>> Anonymous
>>454657
.. you sir, are a God amoungst men.
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
for all you uneducated /x/onauts, that's one of Gustave Dore's illustrations to John Milton's Paradise Lost, and you should read it before you read House of Leaves.

>>454639
No gods. Anybody got another request?
>> Anonymous
>>454671
Hatman.
>> Anonymous
so any updates on posting the howtokills? Er should I email you for them?
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
     File :-(, x)
>>454673
Number two setting on a standard electric razor.
>> Anonymous
>>454673
What the fuck is a hatman?
>> Anonymous
>>454671
Eh.. Mermaids, kappa, fairies, griffins? It's all good.
>> Anonymous
>>454657

Absolutely wonderful! Do you mind if I ask you acquired most of your knowledge from?
>> Anonymous
>>454671
MANTICOOOOOOOORE
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>454671
Basilisk.
>> Anonymous
OP here, that was wonderful. Saved.

Since the other dude doesn´t want to request anything, I propose: How To Kill A Wendigo.
>> Anonymous
>>454709
Been done. :(
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
>>454693
I graduated from Miskatonic University with a Bachelor's in Semitic Languages in 1928. I studied under Professors Bruttenholm and Carter at Empire State University and from there obtained my Master's in Pre-Christian Mythologies in 1952, I received my first Ph.D in 1973 at the Institute for Archaic Studies- this one was in Cryptozoology.

>>454700
already out there.. somewhere
>> Anonymous
>>454681
apparently, according to some googling, it's one of those shadow creature thingies, but it's wearing some sort of old fashioned hat. people say it's like their leader or something. sounds like bullshit to me.
>> Anonymous
i'm so pleased with this thread
>> Anonymous
>>454716
You old bastard.
>> Anonymous
>>454717
I googled hatman and it was all shit.

... Unless you put something like "Paranormal" in there too..
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
>>454730
Old nominally, for sure.. but who's to say I've killed every vampire I've consorted with?
>> Anonymous
>>454742
Graduating from the Miskatonic, I assume you've read that horrid worm bound tome kept in it's library, poor soul.

May I suggest writing a method for killing a Shoggoth?
>> Anonymous
>>454742
Oh lord.
>> Anonymous
>>454716
Were you familiar with Professor Dyer? I know he wasn't exactly in your field of study, but some of his geological expeditions were fascinating...
;)
>> Anonymous
>>454760
FUCK, THIS IS AN IMAGE BOARD SO WHY THE HELL USE TEXT BASED SMILIES? I WOULD BE SAGING BUT THIS IS A HTK THREAD.
>> Anonymous
>>454753
Worm-ridden flesh-bound tome even, seems the mere thought of it sent me into a state of mental chaos.
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
     File :-(, x)
>>454760
Good to see we're all well-versed in our Lovecraft.

As for writing a HTKShuggoth, I will- tomorrow. Tonight I realize I really need to sleep.

/x/, I love you. Will you marry me?
>> Anonymous
>>454753
WORM BOUND? So the book was BOUND with WORMS?
>> Anonymous
>>454775
I would marry you and bare you many strong sons.
>> Anonymous
>>454775
Suggestor of the shoggoth -- fifferent from the guy who mentioned Prof. Dyer, haha, HTK/x/ is likewise amazing, there are few people on 4chan who have actually read lovecraft outside of the call of cthulhu, hell most of them haven't even read that, just spam images off the vague descriptions of others.

Sad though, Man was a genius, 'lot like Tesla -- s'really been forgotten these days, despite the things he's given us.

Regardless I understand the need for sleep myself.
>> Anonymous
>>454775

Yes, oh yes.
>> Anonymous
>>454742
Oh shi--
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>454766
My bad - don't get your panties in a bunch.
>>454775
I must admit, I had to Google Professor Bruttenholm... And who's Professor Carter? You're not referring to RANDOLPH Carter, are you?
>>454787
You can find most of his stories online, really - I purchased a number of his collections of short stories. Incidentally, all of them have since disappeared...hmm...
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
>>454857
The very same.
>> Anonymous
BUMP FOR TODAY
>> Anonymous
SAGE FOR TODAY
>> Anonymous
>>456108

YOU'RE FUNNY HURR HURR