lol wut

>>486797
The reaction I was hoping for.

moar SCP please.

>>486810
http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP_Series

Like this?

Asiancat approves of this.
Unfortunately, he was busy and could not arrive.

>>486812
i thank you profusely

>>486816
No problem.

On a side note, would it be worth it for me to try writing any more SCPs? The idea of this one just struck me as amusing, but if Anon likes, more will be delivered.

Item#: SPC-110 Special Containment Procedures: SPC-110 is to be kept in a locked room and chained to keep her from attacking. When the cell is entered, ten guards must be present, armed heavily.
Description: SPC-110 is a Caucasian female, 5’ 2” tall with blonde hair measuring over eighteen feet. On her right arm is a tattoo, the Greek symbol Omega. Her left arm is covered in golden scales, similar to a snake. She makes no vocal sounds, but will make a hissing sound when annoyed. Her eyes have slitted pupils, coloured gold.
Notes: If injured, she will fight back. Personal have reported a living shadow watching them whenever they enter the room.


I love my characters. Yay for mute lab experiments that are engaged to hermaphroditic fox demons.

>>486829
Disregard that, cocks suck I.

I should shoot myself.

>>486831
Yoda?

>>486834
No.

I'm Namefag, you silly goose.

>>486782
I LOL'D.

>>486829
And then I RAGED.

>>486848
I know, I suck.

I shouldn't try writing.

>>486852
To write well, just practice. It worked for me.

I think I'll write another one right now actually... standby for new SCP.

Item#: SCP-066 Special Containment Procedures: SCP-066 must be monitored at all times, as it can move at will and cannot be contained in the traditional sense. Wherever SCP-066 is detected (special clearance is require for the personnel handling the device that detects SCP-066) it must be quarantined immediately. At least 5 appointed military guards are to dress in accordance with the clothes normally worn by Department of Transportation workers of the region SCP-066 has manifested in. All traffic must be kept from entering a 30 foot proximity of SCP-066. This is to be done by the disguised guards so civilians mistake SCP-066 for road construction until it has changed position again and the road may be reopened.

Description: SCP-066 is not visible to the naked eye, but will appear on different highways. It can only be detected one of two ways. Either a vehicle or person walks into it and disappears and is witnessed (personnel sent into SCP-066 have never been recovered), or SCP-084 has been used to detect it.

Notes: SCP-066 is very 'temperamental' and given to changing position in an unpredictable fashion. SCP-084 should always be kept running because of this.

No thoughts on the second one, /x/?

>>486906

Copying evangelion now.

>>486906

It was ill-concieved and poorly written... wry

>>486913
Hah. I've only seen the first two episodes of that, but an interdimensional rift isn't that original anyway, I just like the idea that the reason traffic stops on the highway for no apparent reason is because of something paranormal.

That's you that is

>>486829
go to hell furry

Item#: SCP-133

Special containment procedures: Item SCP-133 should be stored within a lead lined box in a sealed, bomb resistant storage room at all times. The walls of this room should be no less than 4 feet thick, and should be covered in mirror-polished steel both inside and out. Due to the nature of the item and its contents, absolutely no-one below security clearance level 4 is permitted within the storage room for any reason, and anyone below level 4 clearance attempting to gain access to SCP-133 is to be terminated.

Description: SCP-133 appears to be an unmarked shipping crate, unremarkable in every way. Contained within, however, are several hundred rectangles of a waxy, paperlike material, folded in half. If unfolded, one side bears the legend "Instant Hole, by ACME" and the other, a black dot 22mm in diameter.

if the backing is placed against a solid surface printed side down, and rubbed, the hole will transfer to that surface. Our tests indicate SCP-133 is capable of penetrating 24" of structural grade titanium, but smooth or highly dense materials reduce its ability to penetrate. When applied to flesh, the results are devastating.

Origin: Unknown.

Is it sad that some of the stuff /x/ calls "shit" has been written up by Anon and sold for decent chunks of change to various magazines/newspapers?

>>487880
pics or it didn't happen

>>487880
that just proved that Anon is better than newspapers.

but we already knew that.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CRAP?

Itt stupid fucks write shitty fiction.

>>487880

You son of a bitch.

You're supposed to post a goofy but creepy pic and THEN describe it, not just pull shit out of your ass and expect us to eat it.

>>486782
this is the most epic win /x/ has ever seen

>>488157

lol, good one. wait, your not joking....

>>486917

Cars stop on the motorways because of chaos theory.
Some ass cuts in front of one guy and causes that guy to put his brakes on, which cascades through all the traffic behind him, slowing that lane, to which people in that lane merge into adjacent lanes, slowing those lanes down because there is less room, causing a traffic jam because one ass had to cut some guy off.

Not paranormal anymore. >:D

The fuck /x/. I just came on and this is at the top of the page?

>>488183
Oh foo, logic. Now you're going to say that orbs are just dust particles reflecting light back into the camera lens or that shadow people are optical nervous system misfires.

>>488188

That would just be crazy, you crazy crazy guy!

>>488193
>That would just be crazy, you crazy crazy gal!

fix'd

>rorbbrrrbrirb

fixed

>>488202
Tits.

>>488229
Here's one tit.

>>488325

MOAR

also ass

>>488334
So pushy. Fine, but this is all you get. I am a respectable lady after all.

>>488341

oh lawd delivered

fapfapfapfap

>>488348
Anonymous isn't the only one that delivers.

And now for something at least slightly paranormal.

Hows this for a first attempt:

Item# SPC-034

Containment Procedures:
Item SPC-034 can be contained in any room of any size as long as it has an unbarred window no smaller than a grown man´s thorso facing any ocean or sea (6 years ago, this last vagueness had lead the facillity to attempt changing locations of SPC-034 for the purpose of finding if the ocean or sea the window looked through resulted in different reactions on SPC-034´s behaviour. The results are well known by our personnel of the time and for this any further experiments involving changing SPC-034´s location are absolutely forbidden.)

Various personel have expressed curiosity and perplexity about leaving the precious cargo that is SPC-034 in a room with an open window. Such a worry is understandable, but rest assured that no ill will behalf SPC-034.

The window´s purpose is so "that" can enter the room and tend to SPC-034´s monthly maintenance. Should anything enter the room through the window besides "that" it will break. No further information will be given on this.

>>488490
Description:
SPC-034 has the appearace of an old wooden manequinn with the frase "forever and never" carved roughly and repeatedly over its surface. SPC-034 should be found impaled through it´s thorso and into the ceiling by a burnt iron bar. Should it not be impaled hold your breath and leave the room inmediately, it is not safe to exhale and any nearby personel must restrain form even gasping even if the mannequin starts convulsing. Such occurances are probaly the work of "that", who probably felt the iron bar we chose for his monthly visit was not to it´s beloved mannequin´s liking, but he knows nothing, the fool.

Should it be found impaled the mannequin will remain still and silent, this is a sign it will tolerate customers.
Customers wishing to make use of SPC-034´s services are to enter the room alone and ask their questions.
Should SPC-034 dislike the customer it will answer up to 3 questions, whichever they would be. Should the customer exceed the 3 questions SPC-034 wil not answer but begin humming a song about the customer and what awaits him when he exits the facility, but we dont need to tell them this.
Should SPC-034 like the customer it will not answer their question, how unfortunate.

>>488490
>>488491
You've written alot, but it remains vague somehow. There is some potential here however.

Also, please fix your grammar.

>>488503
Ah, my apologies on the grammar. I wrote it on the spot and english aint my fist language.

I find the best horror to be generated by the imagination filling in the blanks as that can be far more horrific than anything described in gruesome detail.

>>488490
>>488491
>>487674
>>486883
>>486782

All of these were pretty damned good, in my opinion.

But, one thing: on "SCP-034", the line "...who probably felt the iron bar we chose for his monthly visit was not to it´s beloved mannequin´s liking, but he knows nothing, the fool." doesn't sound like something from an official, emotionless report.

As much as I like how it was written, it kind of detracts from the whole illusion of it being an official description from a government when I read that line.

Also, like Craniate said, it's a tad vague when it comes to a few things. Personally, I just want some more information as to what "that" is.

Otherwise, like I said, great job.

>>488513
I agree wholeheartedly, but I'm not sure what I should be imagining I'm supposed to be afraid of. Also, the part about it having customers is confusing me.

>>488527
>>488529
My mistake. I was under the impresion that the SPCs where for the eyes of the newly recruited personel of some unknown facility of the occult.
Seemed better than ZA GUVERNMENT.

Customers are present to suggest that the facility is a sort of storehouse for a black market of the occult.

For "That" imagine something that requires an ocean nearby and can enter a normal-sized window. I was hoping that the required presence of large bodies of water would be enough to fuel the imagination but I guess I was wrong.
Think of some sort of supernatural amphibian caretaker. Thats the basic concept I had in my head.

>>488553
I like the idea better now that you've explained it.

One thing that you have to know about writing is that you're the only one that knows what you're thinking. For example, if I see the phrase 'banana runts' a memory of a day with a friend comes to mind. Most other people would think of small bananas or candy.