The Saw movies are abominations to the film industry.

JIGSAW PUZZLE MADE OF POOP

you're in a cage full of niggers and you have fried chicken glued to your body and you have 90 seconds to get out.

Left alone in a room with>>491915.

you're locked in a room full of bunnies, you manage to find the key in your cockhole, unlock the door and...
you're locked in a room full of bunnies, you manage to find the key in your anus, unlock the door and

you're locked in a room full of bunnies....

pistol whip a guy, drag him out back behind the liquor store, steal his driver's liscense, ask him why he doesn't appreciate his life, and threaten to hunt him down and kill him in a year if he hasn't taken steps towards living a life he wants.

Hard to take Saw seriously when the serial killer gimmick was done less stupidly in fight club.

great idea for a thread, unfortunately, /x/ (4chan) in general is not creative enough for something like this

K GUISE EVERY CREEPYPASTA EVER NOW KK
ALSO, NIGGERS
LOL

Stuck in a exitless concrete room with speakers piping in>>491936's hillbilly thoughts concerning his intellectual superiority to you.

>>491928
OH THE HUMANITY

On top of my head, the human skeleton.

I would never be able to assemble myself

leeches climbing in yer anus.


ps bum p when high

feed someone a few yards of soft, cotton rope... leaving the end hanging out of their mouth. wait until they pass the other end and then string them up to the rafters and let them slide down. somehow they have to climb up and untie the knot to live, or something.

Kill Rosie O'Donnel, put a key in her pussy,cut off a guys arms the only way to get it out would be his dick, which would have a hook on it. I suppose he could use his mouth too...

>>491976
/thread

>>491950

you'd need more than a few yards.

Stuck in a windowless room with a titanium door (locked) surround sound speakers blasting Cher's Do You Believe in Life After Love.

Put a dude in a mansion, lock all the doors and windows, and then bury the whole mansion.

I'd put an internet tough guy racist in a cage full gay jewish black asians, with a webcam wactching the whole thing. A bear trap over his genitals is hooked up to a throat mic - the more noise he makes, the closer the trap is to going off.
He has to sit and get fag-bukkaked for being such a dick, and if the webcam makes it to a million hits, he gets to go free. If he can't keep his mouth shut, bye-bye ballsack.

>>492000
That's not a game.
That's just wrong.

>>492000
>>492030

Wtf? You guys are nuts. That's the perfect night...*sigh*

This one is for a rapist. A man is placed into a large restraining chair face down. His genitals are locked into this box filled with gasoline and his body is coated in some kind of super flammable substance. The only way to become free from the chair is for him to remove his own genitals. The only tool he is given is the very dull switchblade he used to keep the young girls he raped silent. A long wick is lit upon his awakening in the room and he will be given one minute to decide whether to castrate himself or burn to death.

Right, here's a try.

Suspend the guy from the ceiling from a series of hooks in his skin. Every ten seconds he remains hanging an electic shock passes through the hooks and into his body, it gets worse and worse eventually reaching lethal amount (an alternative is the hooks getting hotter and hotter and just fuck a beartrap in there somewhere). The only way to escape is for him to rip his skin off.

the person is placed in a pitch dark room, there is an alarm clock in the room that will wake them up at 2:59 AM
they wake up to find themselves tied to a chair, with a buttons taped to their left hand

naturally they press it and it begins playing the creepy tape over a speaker in the wall where they are told that the button in their hand does two things: first, it will open the door for you to get out of the room, second it will bring down the ceiling to crush you

at which point the room lights up slowly
and they see that the ceiling is full of spikes
written on the wall are 20 combinations to a lock that they have to open with their feet only one is the correct combination
inside the safe is a button that will release all the restraints, you have 8 minutes to open the safe and run out the door before the spike ceiling reaches your head and completely crushes you in 12 minutes

"Stay calm and work quickly. The clock is ticking."

Then the ceiling begins to creak and the door to the room flings open violently

the floor is covered in broken glass, and you will have to crawl through it to get out if you manage to free yourself from the chair

so did the writers for the Saw series lift your sick and twisted ideas for the movies?

>>492081
They did for one of the movies. Also, shit sucks.

You and one other person are in a room together. Your right hands and feet are cuffed to each others. You are then told that each of you has a key inside your left lung. Unfortunately only one of the keys opens the cuffs. The other does nothing.
Pick the wrong key and well one of you dies and the other person either luckily gets free by opening there own chest or just dies too.

put a key in someone's testicles with a strong nylon string coming out of their urethra, lock them in a room and say that the only way they will get out of the room is to pull the key out of their ballsack
there are no tools or anything whatsoever it's a creepy room with concrete floors, walls, ceiling, a steel door, and a tiny sunroof that shines an eerie green light into the room
the ceiling is 24 feet high, the room is 4 by 4 feet, you can't lie down, and your legs are cuffed, so no climbing

if you don't do it, you will die of starvation

> I'd put an internet tough guy racist in a cage full gay jewish black asians, with a webcam wactching the whole thing.
That's not SAW, it's every reality tv show ever made.

>>492095
Did they now...

You're in a room filled with spatulas and hamburger meat.

... BUT NO GRILL!

The only items in the dark room are a TV, DVD player, and all of Uwe Boll's movies excluding Postal.

The only way out is to watch all of them.

Tell someone they must kill five people to save their own life.

If they do it, they die.

>>492369

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

What if all the air in the world TURNED INTO CEMENT?!

>>492442
We'd all burst into snakes.

You are in a room with the walls with spikes and razor blades and lots of painful stuff and it is slowly closing in. There is an open door and you free to leave, but you have these three rings that pierces your balls and your dick and the rings are chained to the floor. Just moving makes your balls hurt a lot. The clock is ticking...

>>492446
Wall, that will hurt a lot! Goddamn jigsaw

give a linuxfag a copy of windows me. and make it so his HD explodes if anything but that is installed

Maybe not the most disturbing but...
I was talking to my one friends who plays a shit ton of WoW. I thought up a Jigsaw trap for him where he would be locked in a chamber with rabid wolves and the key is in one of their stomachs. He, however, has had a medieval sword grafted into his right arm and the objective is to kill the wolves, gut them and unlock the chamber.

"You have lived your whole life in a world of fantasy. Now, you must choose whether to face harsh reality and live or live out your fantasy and die. Live or die, the choice is yours."

>>492373
>>492373

OH MY GOD. I couldn't do it.

I has an idea

i propose to you

1 Rubik Cube

1 bucket of fried chicken

2 sheets of paper

1 standard black pen

10 GIGS of CP

solve the rubik cube before chris hansen finds out and asks you to take a seat

You wake up and you find you're alone in a room. Chainsaws hang from the ceiling. They're off, but, at least according to the note that's been folded up and stuffed into your pocket, you've got five minutes till they turn on.
The only exit is a small door. You'd have to crouch to get through it, but you'd be able to- except, it's blocked by a pair of flame-throwers shooting up vertically from the floor. There's barely enough room to squeeze between them.

Oh, remember how I said you're alone? Not quite. You see, you're stapled to a tiger.

>>492496

......no.

you are submerged in an olympic sized swimming pool that has been covered by a sheet of bullet proof glass, except for a 3'x3' space over a ladder on the other side of the pool
between it and you is a swarm of pirahnas the only thing keeping them from you is a thin metal screen
you have a scuba tank and full gear on, with the oxygen very low
you have a dull knife to cut through the metal

you will drown unless you cut open the metal screen and swim to the other end of the pool and climb the ladder

>>492512
People survive piranha attacks all the time dude.

>>492035

Okay. You wake up in a very small room, the size oh maybe 5ft by 5ft, Theres razors, barbwire ect. On the walls You have very little air and you can see a hole, lights coming out of it. to your right there is a gun with 1 bullet, on the left is a hammer and a chizel you can either dig at the hole and cut your self up and most likly die from blood lose, or kill your self. What do you do?

>>492525
Painful as shit though.

>>492525
People also survive explosions, car crashes, shark attacks, high falls, etc. Doesn't mean there isn't a chance of death, besides, you don't know how many piranha are in there or how fast the person swims.

You wake up in a room. You think you might have been drugged, maybe by that hot chick at the bar last night.
It's just an empty room, barren. Extremely low lighting- some light is sneaking in from around a door, and there's a pathetic little battery-run lamp on the floor. Cement walls, weird little porous holes in the floor, solid metal door. There's a little faucet labeled 'water' and a small box labeled 'food'. The o's have little smiley faces in them, and 'water' is decorated with hearts and stars and waving stick figures. Shit, you think. This is not good. This is not good at all.

After a while you get thirsty and turn on the faucet, but nothing comes out. Shit, shit, you think. This is some kind of sick game. You look at the food box next, prepared to find some kind of diet bar.
You open it and jump back. Whatever it is, it runs out on a lot of feet. Dark black. Blends in so well you lose track of it in the poor light of the room. Shitshitshiiiit, you think. This is bad.
(cont.)

You eventually pass out when the fear of your 'food' can no longer sustain you. When you wake up, the floor is a little damp. Ugh, you wonder, did I drool? In your grogginess, you almost forgot about your 'food', but so far you haven't seen it and haven't felt it. It was hella' big, though. Probably hella' nasty, too.

Time passes. Maybe an hour or two. It's silent, except for some kind of weird trickling noise. You sleep again, and when you wake up the floor is even wetter than before, unmistakably not drool. It's pretty deep. Okay, you think. Wait. Wait. You put your finger over one of those funny little pores and feel pressure. Water pressure.

Realizing your mistake (the water's gotten up to your ankles now), you move over to the 'water' faucet and try to turn it the other way. You catch sight of the little girly-ass sign. As the handle for the water breaks off in your hand, you realize: the stick figures aren't waving, they're *drowning*.

You pound on the door. You scream. No response. The water's up to your midcalf now. You think you saw 'food' walking around pretty close to the door, too, so you go to the center of the room again.

You never should have gone out last night.
But you're here now. You can at least try to bust out. But... how?

>>492525
People survive the crap in SAW, too, dumbass. They make a choice to either go through horrible pain or die, just like the piranha scenario. Get attacked by piranha or drown.

You are on an inflatable lifeboat in the middle of a large pool. Sharks circle around you menacingly. You've got oars, but moving them to row yourself to the side of the pool will pull the cap off a bottle of chicken blood attached to the bottom of the raft and send the sharks into a feeding frenzy.
On the boat, too, is a small, one-button remote control, like a garage-door opener. It seems that each of the sharks has been fed an explosive device, and pressing the button will detonate one of them at random. Of course, there's also one of the bombs chained around your neck...

Okay. I have illustrated mine, because I can't explain it in word.
Basically the box is too high to allow you to sit down or crouch, too short to let you stand comfortably. You'll wake up with a scapel glued to your hand. A tape will play as you wake up, explaining that there is a way out. There's a remote contol, one that will make the box collapse harmlessly, and the locked door open. This remote is in inside your stomach. The scalpel will help you get there. If you cannot, then you'll stay in the box.
The lights will go off. You'll be left in total darkness, total silence. I'd watch with an infrared camera, enjoy the show.
You won't be able to sleep, because you can't sit, crouch, stand, anything. You'll slowly, slowly die, legs aching.

Not much gore if they choose to slowly perish, but them trying to cut themselves open in the dark, unable to see anything, now THAT would be fun.

>>492664
That would actually kill them.

Stomach acid spills over the internal organs and melts them from the inside.

Ask any cop who's seen a stab victim.

>>492664
i put my fingers down my throat and puke out the remote. If it could go in then it can go out.
you lose, anonymous.

>>492670
Ah, fuck. Where can I put it, then?

Just under the muscles of the abdomen, perhaps?

>>492674
You can't get your fucking fingers into your mouth unless you have incredibly long arms.

>>492686

Put it next to the stomach, not actually in any organs but still in the abdominal cavity, so he still has to gut himself.

>>492664
use the scalpel to cut the box open

A problem I've always had with the Saw movies is that the "puzzles" vary in difficulty too much, the solutions aren't proportionate, and sometimes the "puzzles" aren't even puzzles - just elaborate ways to kill people.

>>492705
Mhmm, I suppose that would do.

>>492706
Scalpels can't cut through steel bars that thick. Your ideas suck.

You wake up in a well lit room. There's a wheel of fortune in the middle, on it are 29 wedges that have different ways to die, 1 wedge that says freedom

the tape says you have to spin the wheel

if you try and cheat, he will incinerate the room

if you don't spin, he will turn off the lights and you will starve to death in the dark

you notice many instruments of death hanging from the roof on robotic arms

the voice says "spin now"

you wake up in a room it's completely dark except for a dim glow on the wall to your left. you approach the wall and see a glowing rod wedged into an enormous iron door. steam is coming off the lever it is extremely hot. You have an hour to pull the lever out to open the door. If you do not the collar around your neck will begin to heat up to a very uncomfortable temperature. Once you exit the room the collar will fall off. good luck

>>492480

How is that even a choice?

>>492783
very uncomfortable temperature, eh? i can live with that, provided it doesn't kill me.

>>491917
The film industry is an abomination to itself.

>>491925

>>492783
im assuming the room ahs nothing in it, youre naked?

wrap you shirt around your hand and pull?

>>492069
you have 8 minutes to open the safe and run out the door before the spike ceiling reaches your head and completely crushes you in 12 minutes

so wait, do you get 8 or 12 minutes?

>>492860
You get 8 minutes. After that, it takes 12 minutes for you to die.

"you wake up in a room"... blah blah blah
taste some originality:

You wake up in a 8ft hole in the ground, in your underwear. The hole is empty except for a barrel full of Samari swords. It starts to rain. A lot. You realize your going to drown unless you climb out of the hole, which you can't. Then you find little alternating slits in the side of the hole. They're only big enough for the swords to fit through, pointy end up. Arranged correctly, the swords will form a ladder. You can cut the shit out of your hands and feet, or drown.

That's all. No chainsaws or exploding sharks.

>>492877
I tread water until the hole fills up, then climb out.

>>492877
>"you wake up in a room"... blah blah blah
>taste some originality:
So your super original part was you put them in a hole instead of a room. with an incredibly simple solution.

>>492880
ok, in the event the guy knows how to swim, how about the car he was driving is tethered on a slope, on a timed release. Unless the guy can get out in time, his car will roll down and crush him.

bonus points if the car is the reason he's the se;ected victim.

>>492884
that still doesn't make your idea incredibly original

You wake naked up in a jail cell. The door is locked. Scratched in chalk on the wall is a 225x225 grid. The grid is sectioned off into 15x15 subgrids. Some squares on the grid are filled in with numbers, and the filled squares are arranged in a symmetrical pattern.

Soon after you wake up, a tape begins to play. It explains that you are being remotely monitored and that the arrangement on the floor is a Sudoku puzzle. If you solve it, you get let out. Otherwise, you dehydrate until you die.

A small piece of chalk rolls down through the window of your cell as the tape finishes.

What you don't know is that the puzzle has no solution.

>>492877
>>492884
Replace the swords with chainsaws, and we might have something here.

Also, the car should explode when it falls, and a shark comes out and bites the guy in the dick.

>>492889

How can you have an unsolvable sudoku puzzle? Unless its alread got the wrong answers

> Scratched in chalk on the wall is a 225x225 grid...
> A small piece of chalk rolls down
> the puzzle has no solution.
Sure it does: Cheat.

Inside your penis is a lengthy glass tube filled with rock salt and lemon juice. You are tied to a chair and your genitals are locked with a chastity belt. The key to your belt has been surgically placed inside your thigh bone, and you are given a small 2 inch blade and a rock to get it out and unlock your belt before the glass tube is smashed. You have 1 hour to get the key out.

chainsaw by ur crotch only way out is to lose ur dong and get to a hospital

>>492906
ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO CUT YOUR OWN DICK CONTAINING A LENGTHY GLASS TUBE FILLED WITH ROCK SALT AND LEMON JUICE WITH A SMALL 2 INCH BLADE AND A ROCK?

>>491915
Having to watch Saw. Ever.

>>492917

are you a bad enough dude to let me eat you?

You wake up in the middle of a field. You are surrounded, in a huge mile wide circle, by crucified people. There is a moat 20 feet outside the crucifixion circle filled with sharpened wood and metal spikes. There is a huge metal gate at one end of the circle, with a gigantic lock on it. The gate is lined with razor wire. Inside of each crucified corpse is a key. You have to mangle every single person, with is about 50 people, to see which key is the right one. The only catch? There are currently tranquilized starved wild dogs chained in front of each crucifix. And the only way up the cross is conviently placed slots. Each cross has different shaped slots. The two pegs to use to climb up are inside the dogs.

This one beats all y'all.

>>492925
Take down the crucifixes, construct makeshift ladder and bridge to scale gate or cross moat.

>>492938

>>492945
Yeah, but I'm far more handsome.

>>492949
HAH, i don't think so!

cut off their eyelids, strap them to a chair and rickroll them for all of eternity.

>>493001
not so bad actually

>>492938
The crucifixes aren't long enough to cross the moat, and they are too heavy and planted deep down for one person to get them out.

Remove eyelids, bury them up to there head beside ant hill and watch the agony ensue. No real way to get out.

Here's my go at it.

You awaken in a concave shaped room, you are at the bottom in a flat 10 foot by 10 foot area, the hills of the room are covered in razor blades. There are two doors which lead to the way out, one is at the top end of the room the incline is 45 degrees and 15 feet high, the other door is right in front of you, but its locked, and the key to it is being held by the woman in front of you.

The catch is, this woman is ridiculously fat, at least 700 pounds, she's bedwridden, yet has a voracious apetite AND libido. You must fuck her repeatedly until she comes and is satisfied to get the key to the door from her, or else the paralyzing chemical in your body makes you unable to move, and the woman must eat you to survive.

On a side note, she is the one woman who has ever used the internet.

You're a dude.

You're chained in a chair, but your arms are free. Your junk is also hanging out.

On the left is a butcher knife.

On the right is a small box with three holes in the top.

There is a shotgun pointed at your head, but angled to avoid the brain stem.

The key is in the box and it only opens when your testicles and glans are in the holes.

>>492925
that one is shit. There is no danger at all, unless you feel like jumping in a pit of sharpened wool and metal spikes for no reason at all.

1. kill tranquilized dog in front of crucifix (its not fucking hard its already tranquilized, kick it the head or something)
2. get pegs out of dog and climb crucifix
3. dig key out of crucified person (again isn't hard, its just a dead person so its only a bit gross)
4. try key on gate.
5. repeat until key is found

>>492877
SWIMMING!
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?!

>>492664

That used to be a torture in England back..well a few hundred years ago. Except for the scalpel part, but that box was. They'd keep your ass in there for a few years for treason, etc.

Your body is locked down, and your eyes are taped shut. There are two razor blades alligned with the flat end toward your face, right next to each of your eyes.

Locked onto your open mouth is a tube, which is connected to a tank above it. Filled in this tank is the most vile mixture of bile, piss, shit, cum, pus, blood, and hair.

When a button is pressed after instructions are given, the fluid will release.

You have 30 seconds from when the fluid is released to consume all of it. You do NOT know how much there is, but there is ALOT, though enough that can be consumed in 30 seconds if one tried.

A sensor in the tank of fluid will detect when there is none left, and will stop the timer, and release all locks at that point.

If you fail to consume all of the fluid in time, the razor blades will snap forward and back, slicing off your eyelids off, then a colony of fire ants would be released onto your face. You would be left to die there...slowly.

You're sitting behind your computer browsing your favorite site. You have been browsing for days now, only leaving the chair for food and the absolute minimum amount of trips to the bathroom.

Suddenly a thread pops up asking you for the most disturbing jigsaw type "game" that you can think of. The warning reads that the clock is ticking.

You start to sweat frantically. You realize that if you don't hurry you could drop dead at any moment.

Sitting down for days has made your legs numb or so you think. For some reason you seem to be unable to get up though that could just be your mind playing tricks on you. Your mind starts racing. Fearing electrocution or a spike ramming up your arse through the seating cover you try to come up with the most difficult and vile puzzle imaginable.


Then as in a flash it comes to you: the most horrible puzzle ever, so deviously twisted and yet so righteous. Your hands reach for the keyboard but as soon as your fingers touch the keys you drop dead.

... from a heart attack. The only solution would have been the most horrendous thing you could think of: getting up out of the chair and going outside.

>>493240

lol that's impossible

>>492443
>>492496
I fukken lol'd hard.

>>492772
You never said it was a steel-box, you just said 'box'.

You find yourself in the living room of a desolate, mouldy old house you recognise as a place you have stayed in before in the past.

Looking out the window, a thick fog covers the outisde world from your vision, but you can here the sounds of traffic.

You hear a familiar voice coming from the kitchen. as you head in its direction, he sound of a door opening and closing indicates the speaker has left via the back door in the kitchen. You follow, and open the door, rushing out into the fog...

The next thing you know, you are back inside the desolate old house.

You now hear the laughter of several young relatives coming from upstairs. You run up the stairs, and open the first bedroom door. The voices stop as you near the bedroom and you open the door to a deserted room. Searching the room, you find no-one hiding in the closet or under the bed. Opening the window, the fog rushes in and engulfs you...

You find yourself in the living room again.

>>493240You're sitting behind your computer browsing your favorite site

Wouldn't it be a tad difficult browsing your favourite site if you were behind you computer, as opposed to in front of it?

>>493660
hahaha, good call.