File :-(, x, )
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Item #: SCP-288 Special Containment Procedures: SCP-288 is to be maintained in a soundproof, airtight environment. This environment is to be kept secure from personel using a TITAN-PH2 Class Locking Mechanism and no fewer than 4 Independant Automated Rifle Systems. Should 288 require handling, it is to be carried out through use of remote robotic devices. Should 288 require handling and no robotic devices be available, only D-Level Personel of African heritage are permitted within 10m of the object. These personel MUST maintain 288 in near constant state of motion when handling it or be subject to disabling pain and in instances, death. No fewer than two and no more than ten African personel are permitted within 10m of 288 at any given time. Following handling procedures, all personel coming into contact with 288 are to be eliminated via Lethal Injection and their remains Cremeted.

Description: SCP-288 is a sperical object of a diameter roughly 14 Inches. It is composed of an orange, rubbery substance of a roughened, studded texture. Bisecting two rotary planes and two oblique planes of 288 are thin black lines of unknown function. A single, black, crownshaped form is located at the point the lines on the vertical and horizontal plane lines intersect. Object is supposedly hollow, the central cavity containing an unknown, heavier-than-air gas. Object has displayed potent 'bouncing' attributes.

Notes: Unprotected personel in contact with 288 display similar symptoms, including and a marked craving for poultry and alcoholic beverages. Symptoms also include excessive swearing, kleptomania and a desire to report a similar account of fictional life history [See Report 10029; Attached].

/kit

Report 10029: "Security had detected a slight movement in the object, and all of the devices had been destroyes by [Expunged] a few days earlier. Well, Sikorsky decided it was drastic enough to send a team in, so Jenkins, Jackson, Washington and I were sent in in two-man teams. We proceded to tell you all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there: I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air. In west Philadelphia born and raised. On the playground was where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and all shootin some b-ball outside of the school when a couple of guys who were up to no good startin' makin' trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one lil fight and my mom got scared. She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in bel Air.' I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say this cab is rare but I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'. I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later!' I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air. [Subject 10029 Terminated]

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