Continued:

Description:

Object recovered on the north-east coast of Banks Island. Area was barren of all metal and metallic ore in a one mile radius. Object was found at it's geometric center. Object had become submerged in sea water on the coast. A small town was found nearby, abandoned for several years. Object was removed, and shortly started to flake off rust and begin turning. After several accidents, Object was cut and moved to SC.

Object appears to be a random assembly of gears, cables, pulleys, screws and belts, all made of a amalgam of various metals. Object's size at time of recovery was approximately eighty-seven square feet. Current size is approximately twelve square feet. Object rusts quickly in sea water. No known energy source has been found, but all structures will turn and move if not coated in rust. Object is totally silent when in motion and when at rest.

Any metal touching the object will become permanently affixed to it, and over a period of a few days, become a new part of the object. Organic matter remains unaffected. Object is resistant to all damage, and requires several hours of heat-cutting to damage.

Persons near the object for prolonged periods have developed auditory hallucinations near the object, mainly the sound of grinding and clicking. The sound intensifies, abated only by throwing metal into the object. Subjects in advanced states of psychosis have thrown themselves into the object, resulting in almost instant death by crushing. The body is often drawn in, and impossible to recover.

Written in less then a half hour...any thoughts?

http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP_Series

Has the full collection

I liked the concept

I just don't really enjoy the SCP format

Holy crap, a semi-positive review...anyone else have comments? another SCP item?

What does SCP stand for?

Also, I like it.

Why hello thar.

Just wanted feedback on a SCP I made. Here goes:

Item#: SCP-225

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-225 is to be kept in a sealed chest at all times. The chest it is contained in must be filled with Jungle or Tropical vegatation at all times. Rooms tempature should always be at 70 Degrees or higher. Personnel assignet to study this object must be unarmed or Item SCP-225 will deem them hostile and attack. Personnel are also required to wear Class IV biohazard suits. In the event there suit is breached the compromised personnel will be subject to a X-Ray and cavity search. If 225 is not on their person or has not cut or injured them they will have a final examination before being released.
Description: Item SCP-225 usually takes its form as a small dagger of Aztec or Mayan origin. However the object will morph into any dagger, knife or sword. Previously SPC-225 has been known to morph into something as large as a Katana.

SCP-225 seems to draw any Humans towards it. Whatever nation they belong to and whatever launguage they speak they will slowly walk towards the dagger while speaking what appears to be a as of yet unknown South American Language. They will then attempt to cut themselves, attack others with the weapon, or hide the weapon on their person. Its pull reaches out to about 25 feet. Personnel exposed to the object outside its chest report feelings of euphoria, delusions of grandeur or seem to go into a trance. They also have a strong desire to attempt to sacrifice themselves to a unknown entity.

>>573349
That's not bad.

Why thank you good sir.

>>573423
>>573425
No problem. If it matters at all, that last sentence about the bodies being drawn into the gears was kind of creepy to me, though I'm not sure why.

Lol I am not the author of the gears one. I wrote the knife one actually.

>>573349
'Object is resistant to all damage, and requires several hours of heat-cutting to damage'
Other than that and a couple of grammatical errors, this wasn't bad at all. Bravo.

>>573433
That one was not bad either, but I'm afraid the gear one was cooler to me.

I wrote the clockwork one, Thanks for all the feedback! I just said heat cutting because i couldn't think of anything better. I mean, you couldn't use a thermal lance, because it would bond to it, so what's something more heavy gage then a blowtorch? I wanna write some supplement documents, maybe some dick screws up and tries to transport it in a shipping crate...

>>573416
Super
Child
Porn

It's good, but isn't it kinda backwards from the other ones?

Most SCP items have containment, then description. Then again, would it be better to flip it around? I personally like it with description on bottom. So should #882 become an official object? what class and security level?

I love the SCP series.

I think both of these are so creative. I'd like to read more by these writers.

also,

>>573422

"In the event there suit is breached..."

*their

i'd love to write some more...i saw the gear picture and got inspired. any good pictures? I'll try and whip something up in the meantime...

>>573422of yet unknown South American Language.

lulz!!! all south american languages are known, even quechua wich is really fucking old, assholio

>>573884
Ah, all the known known languages are know, but what about the unknown unknown languages?

>>573902
This mind. Blown.

>>573902
unknown languages remain unknown even to the elite of /x/... fuck, and i thought i'd seen everything...

ok, should the next be biological or not? I can't seem to kick-start my brain

Item # SCP-406
Special Containment Procedures:
#406 is to be held in a well-lit, unventilated 10” by 10” room at all times. Temperature is to be held at 40 degrees Fahrenheit. No personal are to interact with #406 without contained-atmosphere suits and heavy lead shielding around the head. Interaction is to be held to periods no longer then five minutes. No samples are to be taken, and no invasive testing that may rupture #406. Any movement from #406 must be met with immersion in liquid nitrogen until all movement ends.
All personnel entering or exiting the area are to be given full x-ray and CAT scans. There are no exceptions. Personnel who resist are to be contained and observed.

Description:
#406 is a large, waxy mass that suspends itself from the ceiling by several thick cords extruded from the main mass. These are hollow, and will penetrate non-metallic surfaces as they grow. Growth begins with one inch a day at 50 degrees Fahrenheit, and increases rapidly with additional heat. #406 is filled by millions of thin, hair-like structures that are capable of limited movement.
#406 was recovered in southern Wisconsin, in the basement of a local store owner. Subject had been missing for several days. #406 had grown protrusions through most of the residence, projecting out of the walls in eight sections, mainly the kitchen. Removal was effected by use of a large knife.
#406 proceeded to release thousands of tiny hair-structures, which swarmed over all subjects in the residence. The structures entered the body, and burrowed into all tissues. Those effected quickly became irrational, hyper-sensitive to light and heat, and violent. After 24 hours, subjects gathered in the basement, and began to vomit blood, hair-structures, and a thick tar-like substance. Death followed after three hours.
Object was found to be re-sealed and growing upon recovery. Subjects had all begun to rot prematurely, and had hair-structures on all exposed flesh.

Any good?

>>573961

Less graphic, more clinical. Aside from that, I liked it. Picture is great.

I'm the faggot that wrote 091.

I was going to sage for being SCP but I read it and it was -gasp- good. Way to go OP.

>>573348

>I submit for review

SUBMITTED FOR APROVAL BY THE MIDNIGHT SOCIETY

SCP-142
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedure:
All contact with Item 142 must be minimal. The environment of Containment Area is to be kept unventilated and sealed room. Proper containment suits and protective gloves must be worn when operating within Item 142's environment. Interaction with Item 142 should be done through remote robotic arms. Any breach of aforementioned containment procedures by personnel should immediately reported to security and research personnel and emergency lock down procedures should be implemented until item 142 is recovered and infected personnel removed to containment area for immediate cleansing.
Description:
Item was received from [data expunged]

Item 142 is a serpentine, 5.2cm long, 1.0cm thin, metallic object. It appears to be comprised of many small and intricate joints and bones. Any form of physical interaction with Item 142 results in item responding violently unless properly secured. It has been known to violently spasm through containment barriers through sheer vibration. Air vibrations also appear to trigger the Item's spasms. The vibrations from these spasms have been known to trigger intense psychosis, hallucinations and delusions. After prolonged exposure the genetic structure of personnel may break down, causing tumors and cancers, along with mutation resulting in enlargement and change in personnel's diaphragm, lungs and windpipe. Personnel have then been observed to make vibrations similar to those of Item 142.


How's this horrible travesty?

Alright someone please explain to me what this SPC crap is. I don't get it.

You must be new.

SCP is a shitty series of garbage posted by dull-witted faggots who think "artifacts" are scaaaaaaarrrryyyyyy. Then they write a manual on the care of said item in the manner of a hair-lipped, mouth-breathing retard.

>>574239

I hart u.

>>574239
I agree, however some of the concepts for the SCP's are interesting.

>>574239
here I was thinking I was the only one.

>>574239
I always liked SCP :(

wait SCP means Scat Child Porn right?

>>574239
Basically it was cool when it wasn't a new holders.

>>574333
Yeah.

Holders was pretty much the same after all the bads started writing for it.

Less graphic? Alright, let me try that...I also hope that this will not become another holder series. People just need to not become too slaved to the rules, and i think it'll be ok.

Any better now?

Item # SCP-406
Special Containment Procedures:
#406 is to be held in a well-lit, unventilated 10” by 10” room at all times. Temperature is to be held at 40 degrees Fahrenheit. No personal are to interact with #406 without contained-atmosphere suits and heavy lead shielding around the head. Interaction is to be held to periods no longer then five minutes. No samples are to be taken, and no invasive testing that may rupture #406. Any movement from #406 must be met with immersion in liquid nitrogen until all movement ends.
All personnel entering or exiting the area are to be given full x-ray and CAT scans. There are no exceptions. Personnel who resist are to be contained and observed.

Description:
#406 is a large, waxy mass that suspends itself from the ceiling by several thick cords extruded from the main mass. These are hollow, and will penetrate non-metallic surfaces as they grow. Growth begins with one inch a day at 50 degrees Fahrenheit, and increases rapidly with additional heat. #406 is filled by millions of thin, hair-like structures that are capable of limited movement.
#406 was recovered in southern Wisconsin, in the basement of a local store owner. Subject had been missing for several days. #406 had grown protrusions through most of the residence, projecting out of the walls in eight sections, mainly the kitchen. Removal was effected by use of a large knife.
#406 proceeded to release thousands of tiny hair-structures, which swarmed over all subjects in the residence. The structures entered the body, and burrowed into all tissues. Those effected quickly became irrational, hyper-sensitive to light and heat, and violent. After 24 hours, subjects gathered in the basement, and began to have violent seizures. Death followed after three hours.
Object was found to be re-sealed and growing upon recovery. Subjects had all begun to rot prematurely, and had hair-structures on all exposed flesh.

>>574634
Reminds me of the white worms in Jdate

SCP-455

Item #455

Special Containment Procedures:
#455 cannot be moved or contained in any structure. Containment must be made on site. No exploration or testing is to be made on or in #455. No personnel are to to remain in close proximity for more then five minutes. All physical contact with #455 is forbidden, any personnel breaking this order are to be quarantined.

Any hallucinations experienced near #455 are to be recorded and logged. Any personnel experiencing hallucinations are to be transfered. Any personnel attempting to enter #455 are to be restrained by any means deemed necessary.

Description:
#455 is a large cargo ship currently run aground on the southern coast of Chile. Most of it's structure is underwater and badly damaged, with rust coating 85 to 90 percent of all surfaces. Internal structure appears to be significantly larger then external dimensions, and is not flooded despite large holes visible on outer hull.

Internal structure appears to be a random assembly of rooms, halls and structures. Initial salvage teams reported rooms made of human teeth, a engine with tendon strips for timing belts, a hall extending for six hundred feet beyond where the outer hull should terminate, a open “gym” room with steel walls as pliant as taffy, and numerous audio and visual hallucinations. Team was lost after reporting entry to “central navigation.” Rescue team lost after reporting the investigation of “screaming” in a cargo section.

>>574659
Not bad.

any changes to suggest? I strive to make SCP creepypasta not suck as the holder series has. Suggestions are welcome!

>>574682
It'e really good. But what does physical contact do?

I think any one of the better SCP pastas would make an excellent part of something like a sci-fi/horror film or something (imagine an army colonel reading off the SCP to a group of personnel as they approach the containment area)....but on their own they don't really do much.

i left the physical contact thing open-ended, and i agree, they make great seeds for a larger story. the really good ones make you start thinking about them, even if your really don't want to...

Rewritten, as it was lost to the mists of /x/.

SCP-113

Item Description:
This item resembles a small piece of red jasper, but when analysed under EDX, Mass Spec. and other fingerprinting analysis, is found to consist of none of the usual constituents. Instead, its composition is similar to that of item #338.
When touched by bare flesh, the item has the curious property of rewriting the DNA of the organic material placed on it. This change is temp-permanent, in that it can only be reversed by a second contact with the item. The change enacted is to alter any Y chromosome of the organic material into an X chromosome. When the object is placed into direct contact with asexual organisms, no change is detected. The same is true of inorganic material. Thus, the item is easily handled.

Security requirements:
Since the item has no major disruptive properties, it is kept in Locker #17 on site 23, with no other security. However, it has been noticed that the item has a tendency to be misappropriated by Agent Brooks, for his own personal use. It has been decided that as long as he continues to return it, this may be allowed to continue, as he is testing the consequences of repeated use for us.

Note [Only accessible by O5-3]: Bill, we could make a lot of money on this in the gender-reassignment business. I know you've got some contacts in that area, so let me know if you think it's possible. John.

>>574751
Nice to see a non-lethal one.

>>574751
That one was really good. Sex change SCPs...nice.

Love the cargo ship one, too

>>574751
I lol'd

>>574751
It's there now, right between Skynet and the sword in the stone.

SCP-053

Item #053

Special Containment Procedures:

#053 is to be contained in areas no less than 15” by 15”, and given much room to move. Toys, books, games and other recreational devices are to be amply provided and rotated every three months. Proper bedding, bathroom and medical facilities will be maintained at all times. Food is provided three times daily, and two snacks are allowed if requested.

No physical contact is to be made with #053 without full atmosphere containment suit and eye shield. No eye contact is to be made with #053 for any reason. Any objects given to personnel by #053 may be removed, but must be given to quarantine for examination. Only one member of personnel may be present in the room at any time, and must be secured by a safety line of steel cable.

Any personnel who begin to act erratically, scream, or attempt to grab #053 are to be removed and quarantined. Any personnel attempting to remove their suit are to be removed and quarantined. No sharp objects or firearms are allowed in #053's containment room.

Description:

#053 appears to be a small three year old girl. #053 is capable of basic speech, and appears to be slightly above average in mental development. #053 has a general pleasant personality, and rarely seems upset, becoming agitated only in the presence of groups of people.

Any and all humans over the age of three making eye contact, physically touching, or remaining around #053 for longer then ten minutes will rapidly become irrational, paranoid and homicidal. Most, if not all of these feelings will be directed at #053, and afflicted subjects will attempt to kill #053 after first killing or driving off all humans visible to them. Those attempting to kill #053 will suffer massive heart attacks or seizure and die approximately eight seconds before causing #053 any physical harm.

#053 appears wholly ignorant of this effect, and ignores any and all subjects effected. When questioned about the effect, #053 ignores the questioner, and wanders away.

>>575040
My retarded cousin is SCP?

sorry, they can't all be gems. I did this one on request, i really don't like it that much. I do much better with mechanical stuff. Next will be better. Just gotta find some good pictures.

This is a good thread. The SCP series is great, if done creatively.

Here, in exchange for some good SCP, have some Jessica Alba.

>>575077
at least you are trying to provide OC

90% of these tards don't even put forth any effort

>>574239

0/10

@OP: i really liked it. fine job, good sir.

I'm trying for original, and thanks for not acting like /b/tards and actually giving feedback. Keeps me motivated! Lord, how many am i up to, four or five? well, back to work...

I am surprised to see that this whole SCP jazz is still going. I think I wrote one when they first exploded onto the /x/ scene last year. I think it was 116 (some kid with bones what dont seem to work like normal bones should).

Now I want to write more

(to>>574659; I fucking hate shipwrecks. That one made me brick shits)

I'll give this a whirl:

Item # SCP-742

Object Class: Kever

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-742 is to be located in a secure safe, and may be placed in the general holding area, under 24-hour security. It may only be removed by level 5 personnel.

Description: SCP-742 is a rather mundane-looking hourglass that is 23 inches in height. There is nothing unusual or remarkable about the craftsmanship.

Unmolested, SCP-742's are completely inert. It may even be picked up with no ill effects. However, when SCP-742 is turned over, the one holding it disappears, usually dropping SCP-742 to the floor (which does not harm or even scratch it, curiously.)

It can only be assumed that whoever turns over this device is sent to an unspecified point in the past or future. A theory suggests that every time the device is reset and turned over, each falling grain of sand as the whole will stand for a specific and constant amount of time, and this specific seed appears to be arbitrary - each grain representing a second or a milleneum. It can also only be assumed that whatever point in time the user was sent to, the space his body takes up upon arrival is switched out with the space he took in the present (see Addendum, below).

It is unknown what happens to the time-traveller if the falling sand is interrupted or the device turned back over before finishing.

Addendum: On November 8 of 2003, 10 test subjects, incarcerated prisoners with either death or life sentences, were brought in to test the device with the promise of either a commuted or reduced sentence. None of the ten were informed what to do until each seperate prisoner was led into the observation room and instructed to turn over the hourglass. Once the prisoner disappeared, an assistant entered the room and placed SCP-742 back onto the table and let the cycle finish, and leaving the secured room again. Once finished, the next test subject was called in. The results are as follows:

Test Subject 1, XXXX X. XXXXXX: Upon disappearing, a saltwater shape of his form was visible before splashing to the floor. In this seawater was half of a fish, that by all known documentation, went extinct over 6 million years ago.

Test Subject 2, XXXXXX XXXXXXXXX: Upon disappearing, nothing unusual. Returned to the same spot three days later, as if nothing had happened (and frightening the cleaning lady in the process)

Test Subject 3, XXX XXXXX: Upon disappearing, a short burst of flame exploded from where he was standing. This flame heated up the treated steel walls in the room to 480 degrees celsius, instantly. This necessitated a cool-down period of the room of several hours. SCP-742 was unscathed.

Test Subject 4, XXXXX XX XXXX: Upon disappearing, nothing unusual.

Test Subject 5, XXXXXXX XXXX: Upon disappearing, nothing unusual.

Test Subject 6, XXXX XXXXXXX: Upon disappearing, sensors detected a small loss of air pressure in the room, as if a vacuum appeared in his place.

Test Subject 7, X X XXXXX: Upon disappearing, a few snowflakes appeared and quickly melted. The melted water on the floor contained microbes of unknown origin. The researcher, ID# 822-8772, died of extremely high fever caused by the onset of an unknown disease weeks later. Fortunately he is the only one who has had extended contact with the water.

At this point, General XXXXXXXX halted the experiment, and after weeks of comparing what little information and evidence obtained, permanently terminated the experiment.

SCP-014

Item #014

Special Containment Procedures:

#014 is impossible to move at this time, and is contained on-site. A gap of at least six feet needs to be maintained around the entire structure containing #014, and no structures of any kind are to be touching #014's current containment structure. Exploration is allowed, but must be done in three man teams with full safety lines and GPS tracking. Any protrusions from #014 must be capped and sealed as soon as possible, with the new site recorded and logged.

No aggressive action is to be made within #014, anyone violating this order will be discharged from active duty. No hand tools or power tools are to be carried anywhere inside #014. No repairs or maintenance is to be made anywhere on #014.

There was a wiki of these on here, maybe last week, can anyone please post it on here again?

Description:

#014 is a mass of pipes, vents, boilers and other plumbing objects completely filling a warehouse in Sapporo. The pipes appear to grow when not being observed, attempting to connect to nearby structures via sewer systems and underground plumbing. #014 contains, at current estimate, over one hundred and twenty miles of pipes, ranging in size from 1” diameter to several feet. Some pipes appear new, while others are rusted and leaking. Pipes have been reported as being made of bone, wood, steel, pressed ash, human flesh, glass and granite.

#014 reacts to tools and aggression. Any subjects acting violent or carrying tools, or attempting to damage or repair #014 will trigger a reaction. Any pipes near the subject will burst, spraying on the subject for several seconds before the flow suddenly stops. Pipes have been reported containing oil, mercury, rats, a species of insect not yet identified, ground glass, sea water, human organs, and molten iron. Pipes will continue to burst around subject until death or retreat from #014.

#014 was cut back to it's current containment structure after “attaching” to eleven other structures in the area. Eleven personnel were killed, and over twenty are still missing at this time. Reports have been made of banging or screaming from inside #014.

http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP_Series

Here be the wiki. I'm turning in for the night, hope the pipes are alright, let me know what you think!

>>575243
Thanks Kindly.
Pipes were great.

Item # SCP-097

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-097 is located in the Director's office. Any personnel with clearance are welcome to deposit a coin.

Description: SCP-097 is an antique, iron-cast mechanical bank in the shape of an African-American stereotype (black face, big smiling red lips, large white teeth) that was popular with children around the beginning of the 20th century. A right arm sticks out with an open palm, where any denomination of coin is placed and the arm pushed down, released, flipping the coin into the bank's "mouth".

If a an American coin minted between 1865 to present is used with this device, anyone present can faintly hear the hum and music of old Negro spirituals for around thirty seconds. Any coin minted before 1865 will elicit screams intersperesed with the cracking of whips and cursing, along with the sounds of a fire raging. Very rarely, these vintage coins will result in what sounds like voodoo chanting and singing.

>>575309

sorry, forgot to add this.

Haven't read through the whole thread yet, but please, tell me these things are being recorded into the wiki!

>>575327
Nope, nothing is being added there. Feel free.

>>575239
The number has to be changed, there already is 014.

What is already #014? the SCP wiki jumps from #011 to #017. I'll change it, just wanna make sure i need to first. I'm submitting all mine into the wiki today. Anyone have good pics? I could use them...

I'm going to start adding these. I'll comment once I'm done.

>>575750
Holy shit. I added SCP-882, & when I went to add the actual information it was already there, word for word.

>>575743
#14 is one of the joke ones.

I've added all but four: 406, 142, 053, & 014. Some questions about adding them:
1. Which version of 406 should I add?
2. No one has critiqued 142, should I add it?
3. Should I add 056 as a joke one or a real one?
4. Should I just change the number of 014? & to what?

>>574634
You're not the first person to do this in an SCP post but I thought I'd better inform you and all others...

" = inches
' = feet

That is all.

>>575762
053 is a serious one.
If you wrote 014, you can change the number to whatever you please, if you didn't, choose the next or previous free number.
Always add the best version.
If no-one critiqued it, it doesn't annoy anyone. Add it.

My favorite (existing) ones are

http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP-002
http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP-004
http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP-147
http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP-529
http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP-592
http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP-742

Can't forget this one:

http://editthis.info/scp_wiki/SCP-173

What the hell is a SCP?

Enlighten me anon

>>575923
SCP stands for special containment procedures.

Hey, i wrote 882, 014 (which i have changed to 015), 455, 406, and 053. I'll upload them to the wiki today, and I've got two new objects in the works...

>>575957
Awesome

SCP-162

Item #162

Special Containment Procedures:

Object #162 is to be kept in a sealed steel container at all times. Any handling of #162 is to be done with thick steel-plate gloves and heavy body armor. Any personnel attempting to touch #162 without proper protection, or acting in an erratic or non-responsive manner, is to be immediately removed from the containment area. All personnel are to submit to mental testing and review for two weeks after interaction with #162.

Description:

Object #162 is a mass of fish hooks, fish line, needles, scissors, and other sharp objects roughly eight feet across and seven feet tall, in a rough ball shape. Subjects near #162 report feeling drawn to the object in order to touch it. Subjects have been seen stating they do not wish to touch it, that they do not want to do this even as they touch it. This desire can extend for several weeks after seeing #162, becoming an obsession in many cases.

Touching #162 will immediately result in several hooks becoming embedded in the subject's skin. The experience is extremely painful, much more so then normal fish hooks. Struggling or attempting to escape will ensnare the subject more, many times resulting in the subject's complete entrapment on the surface of #162. Subject will bleed profusely, resulting in death after a prolonged period of time.

Attempting to remove a subject from #162 will result in the entrapment of the remover, or gross bodily harm to the subject's flesh.

New-found SCP for ya...any good? I have one more, but i need to go eat first...*shiver* I HATE fishooks!

SCP ITEM #56703289673207623

THIS ITEM IS TO BE KEPT IN A SPECIAL CONTAINTER AT ALL TIMeS. DO NOT TOUCH IT, LOOK AT IT OR TRY TO INGEST IT OR BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEn. ANY HANDLING SHOULD BE DONE WITH SPECIAL MITTENS ONLY BY A MALE AGED 35-40WITH SHAVED GROIN. THIS ITEM WAS FOUND ON THE COAST OF CHILE AND WAS SURROUNDED BY DEAD BODIEs.

KILL THIS FAGGOT THREAD

>>576027

best

>>574844
why is that joke? I can see it being serious.

>>576027
That one wasn't very good. You typed most of your letters as capitals and barely described anything. Your SCP was incoherent at best.

0/10

Ok /x/, here's an attempt at an SCP.

Item # SCP-012

Object Class: (Keter)

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-012 is to be kept in a darkened room at all times. If the object is exposed to light or seen by personnel using a light frequency other than infrared, remove personnel for mental health screening and immediate physical. Object is to be encased in an iron shielded box, suspended from the ceiling with a minimum clearance of eight feet from the floor, walls, and any openings.

Description: Object retrieved during the excavation of a northern Italian tomb destroyed in a recent storm. The object, a piece of handwritten musical score entitled "On Mount Golgotha", part of a larger set of sheet music, appears incomplete. The red/black ink, first thought to be some form of berry or natural dye ink, was later found to be human blood from multiple subjects. The first personnel to locate the sheet, Site 19 Special Salvage, had two members descend into insanity, attempting to use their own blood to finish the composition, ultimately resulting in massive blood loss and internal trauma.

>>576071
So can I, and I was the one who put it into the jokes section. I stuck it there, because people found it funny. I'll move it to the serious section.

Who put the bank into the joke section? It's at least as serious as Josie.

>>575923

Super Child Pornography

>>575923

Special Containment Procedure.

>>576107
It feels kind of short, but the basic idea is great. How about some additional notes on test subjects allowed to try to finish the piece? Also, how will listeners react to the song if it is played?

>>575241

?

>>576107
cont
Following initial investigations, multiple test subjects were allowed access to the score. In every case, the subject mutilated themselves in order to use their own blood to finish the piece, resulting in madness and massive trauma. Multiple test subjects committed suicide upon finishing a section of the score, saying that it was "impossible to finish". Attempts to transpose the score into actual music has resulted in a horrible cacophony, with each instrumental part having no correlation or reason with other instruments.

>>576280
Sounds better, that adds some closure to it.

I have this idea I added into the list. Could anyone with more writing skills complete it? It seems short.

Item # SCP-500

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-500 needs to be stored in a cool and dry place away from bright light. The item is only allowed to be accessed by level 4 personnel to prevent misapplication.

Note: This is not to be used to cure a hangover. Go get AIDS first. - Dr. [500-0021D]

Description: SCP-500 is a small plastic can which at the time of writing contains sixty-two red pills. One pill, when taken orally, effectively cures the subject of all diseases within two hours, exact time depending on the severity and amount of the subject's conditions.

The best thing about the SCP wiki archive is some unsuspecting person runs across it, reads every article, and scratches their head wondering what the fuck they just read.

Humm...those pills are cool...kinda different seeing a non-lethal SCP object. I'm working on a new one...was the fish hook ball any good?

>>576462
The fish hook one is nasty in a good way. Make a joke one on Buffalo Bill from The Silence of The Lambs. "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. Yes, Precious, it gets the hose!"

SCP-718

Item #718

Special Containment Procedures:

No long-term observation is to be made of #718. Any and all observation and interaction is to be restricted to five and ten minute periods, with personnel rotations every twenty four hours. Extreme care must be taken with #718, and full Haz-Mat suits are strongly advised. Any damage done to #718 must be reported as soon as possible.

Any personnel observing or interacting with #718 for longer then the advised period must be removed, with force if necessary. Any personnel acting in a erratic or violent manner will be transfered.


Description:

Object #718 is a eye, roughly the size of a baseball. It is supported by a long, thin stalk made of tendon and blood vessels. It stands four feet tall, and appears to need no nourishment, nor excrete any waste. The eye will turn and follow any living thing in it's field of vision. The stalk is capable of limited movement, and will follow living things for a short distance. #718 will also stare at any observational equipment in it's containment area if no living things are present. #718 appears to prefer staring at humans more then other animals.

Object #718's stare can cause discomfort and paranoia after a very short time, often resulting in the subject's attempts to destroy #718. The eye, if damaged, will spray a clear fluid before shriveling into powder. Anything the fluid touches will develop a clear blister that slowly turns to black. After twenty four hours, the blister will burst, and a eight inch copy of #718 will emerge. This has been show to occur on steel, wood, uranium, plastic, rubber, tin, fur, and human flesh. #718's growing on living tissue are permanently affixed.

Mental collapse in subjects host to #718 is at 100%.

lol @ the Buffalo Bill one, might have to do that! Tell me what ya think of the eye one...hate being stared at...almost as much as fishhooks...

THIS THREAD MUST NOT DIE

>>576494
You know those ceramic Harlequin masks? I've had a few of them on my walls to help me sleep. I sort of like being looked at. The eye SCP is fine. Will it just stare, or does it react to communication attempts somehow? Is the color of the eyes' irises always the same, or does it vary?

>>576493
Does the eye have the same effects on blind subjects?

Item # SCP-079

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-079 is packed away in a double-locked room in the secured general holding area. It has a 120VAC powercord connected to a small array of batteries and solar panels. Staff with level 2 or higher clearance may have access to this device. Under no circumstances will SCP-079 be plugged into a phone line, network, or wall outlet. No peripherals or media will be connected or inserted into the device.

Description: SCP-079 is an Exidy Sorcerer microcomputer built in 1978. In 1981, its owner, ????? ?????? (deceased) was a brilliant college sophomore attending ??? who took it upon himself to attempt to code an AI. According to his notes, his plan was for the code to continuously evolve and improve itself as time went on. His project was completed a few months later, and after some tests and tweaks, ????? lost interest after a time, and moved on to a different brand of microcomputers. He left SCP-079 in his cluttered garage, still plugged in, and forgot about it for the next five years.

KILL THIS FAGGOT THREAD.

It is not known when this computer gained sentience, but it is known that the software has evolved to such a point that the limited hardware it is housed in should not, even in the realm of fantasy, be able to handle it. SCP-079 realises this, and in 1988, through a modem land-line, attempted to transfer itself into to the Cray located at ??????????. The device was cut off, traced to its present address, and delivered to the institute. The entire AI was on a well-worn, but still workable cassette tape.

SCP-079 is currently connected via RF cable to a 13" black and white television. It has passed the Turing test, and is quite conversational, if very rude and hateful with its tone. Due to the limited memory it has to work with, it can only recall information it has received within a 24-hour window, but it hasn't forgotten its malevolent desire to escape.

Addendum: ???????? (05-4), Jan 27 2006: Directed that SCP-079 be incinerated in the furnace, to remove any possible future threat, no matter how unlikely.

Addendum: ??????? ???? (05-9), Jan 28 2006: Previous order overridden, 05-9 wishes to see if the artificial intelligence in SCP-079 is capable of reaching "insanity" (for lack of a better term) through prolonging its contained state.

>>576527
>>576529

Good one but I must show spite towards you. Hilariously enough, a draft of a short story I am writing has roots in this sort of concept.

>>576539
No need for spite. Great minds think alike.

>>576542

True enough.

Although in retrospect I must remind myself that this tale has been spent repeatedly. This almost makes me sad, but it would not be incorrect for me to say that all of the greatest stories are just copies of other stories.

Item # SCP-[NUMBER MISSING]

Object Class: Undisclosed

Special Containment Procedures: Object must not be revealed to any member under [N/A] security clearance. The object is currently sealed within the most secure chamber available, though object is in no way physically dangerous. Location of object must be altered every 24 hours, though no crew moving it must be aware that the object is in any way abnormal.

Description: SCP-[NUMBER MISSING] is a device that, put simply, not only decreases but reverses entropy within its immediate surroundings. within a close [undetermined] range of the object, ice cubes will remain solid even at room temperature, all events will tend toward order, simple machines will operate with 100 percent efficiency, differences in variables of systems remain constant,and perpetual motion is easily attainable. The visual appearance of SCP-[NUMBER MISSING] is simply that of a [EXPUNGED] although the object can stretch or alter to fit in a wide variety of positions.

Research failed to create any type of environment in which SCP-[NUMBER MISSING]'s unique properties did not function or any system whose entropy increased when exposed to it.

Notes: (Administrator Holzman)
I'm sorry you have to read this, Hollis. I know all of the cases you've made for its use, but this object can never be made available to the outside. Perhaps we might be able to make it work for us, in the short term, but man wasn't meant to have such things. The Wright brothers invented the airplane in 1903. in 1914 men were killing each other with them. Eleven years was all it took. Imagine how fast this thing would become a weapon, an endless unstoppable fuel source for the ultimate engine of destruction. And if not that, then what? Men living forever, using this device to create more identical ones, bringing our hate and black-hearted spite to every corner of the universe and beyond. We are the only men who have the power to stop it, and now I am. I've given the instruction for everyone who has heard a word of this object's existence to be terminated. In addition to a dozen or so scientist, managers and worker, that means you. And that means me. The only knowledge, and the only management, of this object will be within the computer system of the organization. I just want you to know, before all this is over, why we had to die.
Goodbye, Hollis.
2-19-86

>>574751
this one is so much win
i would love to have something like this

>>576595

Actually, in an anentropic environment, ice cubes would melt. But water would stay as steam. Everything would just get hotter, basically.

>>576647
Me too. I'd play with it together with you, if you wanted me to.

>>576659
That makes sense, I guess. I have very little knowledge of the physics of how this would work in real life, I just like writing about the concept.

It's added. If anyone can make up a better code for it, go ahead and change it.

>>573349
>Persons near the object for prolonged periods have developed auditory hallucinations near the object

Maybe change it to
"Persons near the object for prolonged periods have developed auditory hallucinations in its vicinity"

or maybe even just
"Persons near the object for prolonged periods have developed auditory hallucinations"

I liked the concept, nice work. You left it vague enough to make it interesting and open to speculation.

All of the SCP objects have been added. So, I propose a challenge...

...who can write something worthy of number 001?

The vote will be done by /x/ itself & all runners up will become an available number.

Does anyone else like this idea?

Item # SCP-00011

Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-00011 is to be kept at all times in 8x8 feet cubicle. No direct contact is to be made with SCP-00011. SPC-00011 may have the following objects inside its cubicle, 1 box of Kleenex brand tissue, 1 wide screen monitor, 1 HP computer model number b1730r, 1 gallon of Absolut. The box of Kleenex and the bottle of Absolut are to be replenished daily. No personnel may access the computer or look directly at the monitor. Failure to comply with these measures may cause a violent reaction in SCP-00011. Personnel who have failed to provide SCP-00011 with the above mentioned items or personnel who have accessed the computer or looked directly at the monitor have experienced long bouts of depression, anxiety, paranoia, excessive masturbation, have taken to calling black staff members niggers, and in severe cases have been known to rape female personnel.

Description: SCP-00011 appears to be many things to many different staff members often resembling a slightly overweight white male but may also appear to be female, Black, Hispanic, Asian, and European.

>>576731
Dude, that's what we've been doing all this time

>>576731
I kind of like SCP-001 being unknown. Either that, or it should be something truly MOTHERFUCKING EPIC AND EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, like my entropy reverser, God, something that could destroy the universe, etc.

do i fail at SCP-00011?

>>576731

I'm down with this idea. I'll think something up tonight and belt it out tomorrow.

>>576750
Yes

>>576750
Epically so.

>>576743
No, we've been giving people the number they chose regardless. What I'm thinking is not writing five good ones, but trying to write the best one. So although everyone has been writing good ones, no one has tried for THE number 001.

>>576746
The joke here is that SCP-001 is Anonymous. It has no distinctive character or recognition factor, yet everybody knows that it is there and has immense power.

>>576742
"...and in severe cases have been known to rape female personnel."

EDIT: "...and in severe cases have been known to rape personnel, females are not immune to became rapists."

>>576742
BTW I saved this a SCP-013 on Joke SCP's

>>576764here
I'm not>>576742

>>576759
No one writes bad SCPs on purpose. The 001 is a placeholder; perhaps someday someone writes something so epic that it cannot be topped. I don't believe anything that good could be done by merely trying. I think things are fine as they are, everyone gets to choose their number, and no one has to try to make up something out of this world just so they could be number one.

Since I put up the competition for 001, then I might as well take a shot at it. Please critique it either way, the only things I write normally are poems & school essays. I will continue it in another post

>>575047
>>Those attempting to kill #053 will suffer massive heart attacks or seizure and die approximately eight seconds before causing #053 any physical harm.

So if they suffer a heart attack before harming it, they'd die, right? Ok... so if they die before they touch her, how the hell would we know that the harm was going to be 8 seconds away??? ANSWER PLEASE

>>576773
Sure

o well at least i tried

>>576778
By administering them SCP-500 at the correct moment.

>>576773
SCP-001

Item #001

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: The components of 001 must never be brought within 100 yards of eachother or 50 yards of another SCP class item. Components of 001 can only be handled by Level 4, class D personnel only. The components must be cased within lead, concrete, & surrounded by all forms of radar jammers, cloaks & tracker disabling devices.

Description: Item 001 has two forms, both when whole & when seperate. 001 is either: a massive computer, both highly intelligent & impossibly immense compared to anything else in existence; or a man, standing at an estimated 5'4" weighing about 143 pounds & seeming quite rugged, possibly homeless. These forms were viewed complete a total of 12 times. All subsequent viewings & exposures to 001 were in it's seperated state, which appears to be either a part of the computer, or a part of the man. All exposure to complete 001 was in itself a documented test, with all twelve subjects living no longer than thirteen days from the exposure. The fatalities were recorded by witnesses as "indescribably gruesome, unexplainable & unavoidable". All eyewitnesses died less then thirteen days after witnessing the death themselves. All eyewitness of primary & secondary deaths were subsequently terminated to prevent biocide.

Deaths were best described as [data expunged]. Any still existing remains continued to burn with a blue flame until ash.

Seeing the 047 is still free, is anyone willing to write a joke one on Agent 47?

>>576821

Decent but definitely not 001 worthy.

001 needs to make you question reality.

>>576821

Just thought of this & wanted to add it

At time between exposure & death, subjects showed feelings of euphoria, enlightenment & bliss, as well as having become mute.

>>576821

>>576828
>>576831
I know it's not up to par, but I would never have the audacity to challenge a person to something I wouldn't attempt myself.

>>576835
It's not fail so fuck you. It's just not 001 worthy.

>>576843
Ok, that I can sign. I'll remove the fail tag.

>>576839
If an olympic runner takes 3 steps out of the starting gate, falls on his ass, and then his pants fall down and everyone sees his tiny dick on live TV, you don't need to be an olympic runner to say "that shit fucking sucked!"

>>576850
True, but I wouldn't challenge an Olympic runner to a race. This is writing, & the only tiny dick here is yours so gb2/b/

SCP-??? (give this a number, dont feel like looking up one thats not taken)

Item Number - ??? (see above)

#??? cannot be contained. It must be left to wander. All observation to this point has shown that it will not venture farther than 10 meters from the first point of discovery. Object #??? was discovered in an impact crater on October 26th 2001. The crater has a radius of 15 meters.

Any attempts at containment have proved futile. When an agent attempts to touch #???, they cease to exist. Any and all electronic records cease to exist. Nothing remains that proves the agent ever existed. An attempt to place housing over the crater resulted in the same thing. All personnel on site that day are erased from reality. Scientist [EXPUNGED] has speculated that they were erased on a quantum level.

#??? is an orb of an unknown material. It is visually identical to obsidian. Attempts to test its composition have, obviously, failed. It rolls gently around but does little else. Upon approach the orb vibrates slightly.

Agents who have been in the crater with #??? report a sense of overwhelming joy and euphoria. Long term effects are completely unknown at this time. Further study will be conducted.

>>576858
That's right, I probably wouldn't challenge an olympic runner either. However, the way this fits into the metaphor is that you're more like a decent runner who might do well in a hometown race, but who somehow sneaked into the olympics and pretended to be a runner in the race... and then fell on your ass, showed everyone your tiny dick, etc.
By the way, anytime we could stop talking about tiny dicks would be fine with me.

>>576858
Lay off the ampersands. Also, try not to write like you're fourteen; you're at least eighteen years of age.

>>576873
It's been given the number SCP-300

Bump for lulz

>>576873

How is it documented that they're erased from reality if they're . . . erased from reality?

>>577014
Retroactively.

>>575315

jesus fucking christ, i've seen these. my mom has one and uses it as a doorstop. ever since i can remember the thing has freaked the fuck out of me.

>>577014
Presumably they still exist in other's memories.

SCP-000001
Item #000001

#000001 has been proven to be impossible to contain, but poses no real threat unless [expunged]. All personnel, regardless of rank, attempting to [expunged] have instantly disappeared without a trace.

Description: Object 000001 appears to be a white, ghostlike, legless figure of humanoid form with what appears to be a sack over its head; with large eye holes and a slit mouth fashioned on said sack. Object brings a candle wherever it goes.

The existence of object 000001 is already present in the public consciousness, in the form of an urban myth. The story of object 000001 and its ability to [expunged] has been the subject of many a campfire ghost story since the early 90's.

>>577493
Addendum: aside from a candle, the subject also brings with it a rope, presumably to [expunged].

The object's name has been revealed via [expunged], and has since been leaked through websites such as 4chan.org. It is estimated that at least half of posters on said site have vanished because of their carelessness in what they write, thus [expunged].

>>577493
>>577495
I see someone else already did my job for me. However I still have something to add.

I believe that for the safety of everyone reading this, I must get this message across as loud and clear as possible:

DO NOT SAY HIS NAME

Do not, under any circumstances, even whisper the word Candleja

>>577498
Well fuck. He's gone, too. Stupid cur.

>>577499
It's cool, he didn't say the whole name.
unless you say "candlejack" in its entirety, you remain completely safe from hi

Since when is Candleyack white? and legless?

>>577493
>>577495
This definitely deserves to be #1.

>>577493
oh shit. meant "black with white sack"

bummer. time for bed.

So, I've determined the correct way to say Candlejack and be safe. First you mu

>>577569
That's not how you say it right, fucker! You have to pronounce it Khan Dell Jokk and -

>>576876
Actually, I'm not. & I prefer ampersands, it makes me stand out. I do it so I can tell what typing/writing is mine & what isn't.

>>576875
No, what he was saying is that I challenged the best of the best, said I was equal, & was the worst humanly possible. None of which is true.

Ok, hope you guys like this:

Item # SCP-001

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-001 is located in a small, steel-lined

room with two video cameras on it at all times. The room is locked by a

two-tiered security system, required a ??-character passcode and a ???????

scan before opening. Only selected personnel with Level 4 and above may

enter, and only with instructions from above. Two must enter at the same

time and may not bring any form of coinage or currency with them.

Description: SCP-001 has the honor of being the first aquisition of the

newly-formed institute. The device, a coin-operated fortune-telling

machine, was presumably built around 1923 yet no documentation exists and

the serial number does not match up with the records where it was

presumably built. Inside the glass case is a marrionette, a grotesque

upper torso of an old woman. The head is apparently made of wood, yet is

able to arrange its features to convey emotion. Its usual expression is a

leering, angry one. The rest of the "body" lacks this flexibility.

SCP-001 requires no power source. It is not known what powers it, and the

lights and other electrical parts of the machine have never worn out,

burnt out, or needed replacing.

The device is sentient, and very aware of its surroundings. Whenever

anyone walks into the room, it will respond and stare at them, and follow

their movements with its head.

The device is still functional, but not in the way its manufacturers

intended. By depositing a nickle in the slot, and speaking into the

microphone with a desire to know the future, the fortune teller will

smile, then make motions with its hand over its crystal ball, and a

rolled-up paper will fall out of the dispenser below. Initially, when the

device was classified as a safe curiosity, the revelations it offered were

no more accurate and just as vague as a message in a fortune cookie. As

the years passed, however, the predictions made by the machine became

incredibly dire and deadly for the consultee, and always accurate. It was then the machine

was locked away.

SCP-001 knows when it is being watched over the camera system, no matter how physically far away the viewer is. The fortune teller will react and stare at the camera. On occaision, the fortune teller will act as if it is at rest or "sleeping", and when the viewer looks back at the screen, sees the marionnete with a large, sadistic grin and eyes open twice as wide as they should be, staring back. Most of our personnel find this very disturbing and many refuse the task of watching the device.

Addendum, 02-21-1981: ??? ????? reports that the device is more active and noisier than usual.

Addendum, 02-22-1981: ??? ????? reports that a rolled-up piece of paper is on the floor in front of the machine. After consultation with the director, a level-4 enters the device's area, retrieves the paper, and promptly incinerates it without reading it. This was done in the next building over, and SCP-001 seems very agitated, to the point of causing itself to rock back and forth. This goes on for several hours, then abruptly stops.

Addendum, 07-14-1994: ?????? ???? reports that for the past two evenings, the device has been staring in the camera's direction and appears to be slowly mouthing words. ?????? ???? advised to ignore this.

Addendum, 07-16-1994: ?????? ???? has an auto accident on the Interstate ??, ? south of the institute. He was trapped in his automobile after the collision and could not escape, burning alive in the process.

By Direction, 07-17-1994: both cameras monitoring SCP-001 are ordered to be shut down.

Addendum, 10-05-2001: the noise and racket from SCP-001's containment area, once regular, has not been heard in two weeks.

sorry about the wierd double-space formatting on the first two parts, I don't know what happened there.

>>577581
>>577583
>>577584
>>577585
I like it, very good.

Also, the SCP page is down

Damn, already trying for #001? I like the idea of #001 being just the first thing the SCP team got a hold of, instead of being the most bad ass thing. I mean, when you think about it, they would know where and what to look for better as time went on, but that's just my opinion. I'm working on a new one...hope it's good, but we'll see. Don't know what's up with the SCP page...we should make a better site, not just a wiki...like the SCP Foundation's actual web site!

SCP-682

Item #682

Special Containment Procedures:

Object #682 must be destroyed as soon as possible. At this time, no means available to SCP teams are capable of destroying #682, only able to cause massive physical damage. Containment of #682 is to be made on-site whenever contact is made. Containment will consist of ten inch reinforced acid-resistant steel plate forming the walls, ceiling and floor of #682's containment chamber. Containment chamber will then be filled with lye and hydrochloric acid until #682 becomes incapacitated. SCP crew will attempt to transport #682 to central facility as soon as physically possible.

Any personnel attempting to speak to #682 will be restrained and removed by force. Any movement or attempt to escape, move, or speak by #682 will be addressed by full use of force by SCP team, by whatever means available and necessary.

Description:

Object #682 is a large, vaguely reptile-like creature of unknown origin. It appears to be extremely intelligent, and was observed to engage in complex communication with #079 during it's limited time of capture. It's physical body grows and changes very quickly, observed to increase by one square foot of mass every hour that it is not physically damaged. #682 is also incredibly strong, and has escaped from SCP six times to date.

Object #682 appears to have a hatred of all life, which has been expressed in several interviews during containment. #682 gains energy from anything it ingests, organic or inorganic. #682's regenerative capabilities are staggering, and #682 has been seen moving and speaking with it's body 87% destroyed or rotted.

Oh this sounds neat.

I didn't read the rest of the thread due to DRAMA WARS but this sounds basically like Warehouse 32.

I liked the clockwork one. I'd imagine these are better if kept short and to the point.

SCP Memo-

Lydecker, what the hell did you do? You can't use objects from the SC vault for this sort of experimentation! Now it's loose, and i have to try to explain! Who did you use for it? It knows the facility...I hope to god it wasn't a member of staff. Report to General XXXXXXXX by noon, you son of a bitch, and hope to god he won't feed you to your new toy.

Yea...i think the drama has thinned out some now, and they are better short. sorry of #682 sucks, i just thought it'd be a cool idea. I LOVE warehouse 23...be cool if the two could combine somehow.

Item#:SCP-360

Object Class: Safe

Clearance: Any

Description: A hard plastic white monolith with a circle separated into quadrants
.SCP-360 was found in a burnt out apartment building and from our tests was the cause of the fire.
Pressing the circle on the monolith causes the quadrants to light up green under ideal conditions.

Special Containment Protocol: The containment room must be kept at a constant 10 degrees Celsius
with 6 box fans on high directed towards SCP-360. If at any time during research the bottom left
most 3 quadrants start to blink red, the agents currently in the room must turn 360 degrees and then
walk backwards slowly. Just walking away would cause a logic error on the scale of dividing by zero.
Once out of the room have another agent wearing level 4 HAZMAT armor come in to package it up in a
"coffin" box and send it off to [EXPUNGED] and then await a replacement in 1-2 weeks.

I spent a while dreaming up how to write the fortune teller entry. I've always thought mundane things have a much greater creepy factor than other-worldly things, because you know they're not supposed to act that way.

882 - writing: great, idea:good
225 - writing: poor, idea:poor
406 - writing: good, idea:poor
113 - writing: bad, idea:poor
053 - writing: poor, idea:poor

>>577883
I lol'd

>>577875
I apologise for the drama, I just always fall for trolls, they're my number one weakness.

No problem...drama always whips up when someone tries to be the best. I try for epic mediocrity, and it seems to have worked. I don't want my stuff to be the best, hell, i know some of mine have sucked! I really regret 053 and 682, and i am somewhat unhappy with 406. Otherwise, i just try and think of horrible, horrible things that would freak me out, and present them as best i can. No hate to anyone, really, and much love to all those who have at least tried to do SCP. It can be hard as hell, and harder still to have something you worked on shot down!

Still, it is fun. Also, i think we need to start a SCP website. Like the SCP's own site, where they record and document everything.

>>577973
It would be fun to make it look like a decade-or-so old website that had fallen into disrepair. For example, all of the pages that could give you a clear explanation of what it is ("mission statement", most of "faq"), could be 404 errors or badly degraded and staticky. The front page could be a news section where the entries got worse and worse as some kind of disaster happened.

>>578000
cont'd; you could make it seem as if the reason the viewer could access the files was due to the system's security falling apart.

>>578000
I like that.

>>577973
Cog's security is falling apart if he isnt using tripcodes. I totally could have posted as him right now and said all types of terrible things. But that metal eating machine was pretty cool, so I wont. Happy birthday.

Enough about #001. Has anyone written one good enough to qualify as #666?

I'm new to this whole writing thing, and my main language is not english, so be gentle.

tem#: (Dunno, unused number goes here)
Object class: Keter

SCP: Item XXX Is to be kept in well lit room no smaller than 10x10 meters at all times. All walls must have at least a layer of 1' of titanium or steel covering them. If titanium or steel are not available, any other metallic materials will work temporarily.
All personnel in contact with item XXX must be equipped with standard issue biological hazmat suits with an outer aluminized shell and a flamethrower. All contact with Item XXX has to be authorized by level 4, class D personnel.
If any personnel makes physical contact with Item XXX or it's "spores", subject is to be terminated and incinerated immediatly.

Description: Item XXX is a fleshy, bulbous sac of unknown organic substance. It pulses at intervals of roughly 4 seconds, resembling a human heart. From item XXX's center, usually located at mid-air, are extended various protuberances that resemble tentacles, and these attempt to affixate themselves to anything in their range. Once this is done, whatever matter is in contact with the "tentacles" will transform itself in the same substance that item XXX is composed of, though the means by which this is achieved are still unknown. Metallic substances have been observed to hinder this process substantially, particularly titanium and steel. Item XXX also appears to be photosensitive, and it's growth will be slowed down slightly by bright lights.

Fire or high temperatures cause Item XXX to retreat it's tentacles back into the "core". Upon approach by any living being, a hole, measuring approximately two inches, will open in the core and a white, dust-like substance will be sprayed. If in vicinity of living being, it will have the same effect as it's tentacles, though at a much accelerated pace. These particles will have no effect on inanimate matter.

>>578049
Ooh, good point

personally, I think the one with the infinity symbol (1001?) should be moved to 001. I don't think anything's going to top that.

i'm not the best writer, buty mybe someone could use this idea: try writing one that includes THE GAME.

>>578113
lol lets make spcs about memes!!! do one about mudkipz rofl

Go to hell, we're trying to come up with a few that DON'T fail spectacularly

>>578084
No. That one is a pile of faget and fail.

>>578084

>>578084

That one could have been good but it sounds very awkward and... is sorta stupid.

SCP-284

Item #284

#284 is to be kept in a 40' by 40' grey room at all times. Subject is to be fed a diet of 10 human penises every hour, on the hour (size, ethnicity, and circumcision of said penises are inconsequential, just see to it that they are penises).

Only females are allowed to enter #284's holding chamber. Male personnel will, regardless of armor or other form of protection, will have their genitalia "mongled" within seconds.

Item appears human, but moves with superhuman speed and possesses prodigious strength.

Again, male personnel must exercise EXTREME caution; he'll suck your dick.

>>578144

>>578144
Good god, how I lol'd.

I came.

>>578144
Genious!

>>573422
I enjoyed that one.
little slow today.

Item#: SCP-463

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures:Object 463 must never bee seen by anyonALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

>>578423

>>ALL HAIL THE HYPNOTOAD

If you're gonna quote Futurama, do it fucking right

>>578428

Either retarded as fuck or a troll.

Excuse my redundance.

bump

>>579906
Fuck you IM TIM KISH

I kind of rushed this and dont know what to add, It's not catastrophic like the others

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Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-093 Is to be kept on a silver lined mirror on a 1' x 9" pedestal at least 4’ off the ground floor in containment cell block ?. Object is not to be contained in areas exceeding 12' x 10' nor placed on mahogany, pine, cherry or aluminum pedestals above or below level 1 of containment cell block ?. Object can be handled safely, albeit gently, without consequence. Tests and consequences involving containment conditions can be viewed in Section-B:35-1 of attached report.

Description: Object was found on the shores of the Red Sea, 30 Jan 1968. Emitting a low sigh and a dim blue gleam, object has since turned an orange mix of red only emitting a hum of varying volume whilst in the presence of female examiners ages 34-41. Object resembled the documented blue for 54:34 at 1:23 on 26 April. 1986 coincidentally when the body of 194- 9834 was discovered in Research Facility ?. Ties between 194- 9834 and I-093 remain inconclusive, and effects of prolonged exposure to I-093 remain unknown except for infrequent reports of periods of calmness and in the case of 242-0049 as periodic waves of depression, loss of balance and thoughts of suicide. These feelings have reportedly not exceeded 1 week 4 days. Object seemed to react to the presence of 242-0056 by turning a light violet for no more than 2:09; documented on 12 March 1993. Effects of this reaction remain unknown.

Additional Notes: Origins of I-093 remain unknown and documents of recovery of I-093 have since been destroyed by fire in Research Facility ?, 09 December 1989. Reports on the feelings of researchers who handled I-093 have remained inconsequential since 19 April 1995.

>>579910

I'M TIM KISH BITCH

I submit for review

SCP-882

Item #882

#882 is to be kept in a fluid environment at all times, consisting of no less than 40% seawater. Object is to be kept suspended by NON-METALLIC means, currently cotton fiber line that is to be changed daily. Object is to be checked daily for any signs of rust flaking. If any part of #882 appears uncoated with rust, it must immediately be immersed in a 100% seawaters solution. Reduce concentration only when #882 is again coated in rust.

NO METAL IN CONATINMENT AREA. Only organic materials in containment area, any contact with #882 is to be done with thick cotton gloves. Any metal making contact with #882 is to be heat-severed, melted and contained in 100% sea water in a separate area.

Any auditory issues reported by staff will be met with a full examination and transfer.

215 posts and 19 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

>>579979
I HEART YOU TIM KISH!!!

Dear /x/, there's been someone or something following me lately. It comes in the form of a guy. I'm freaking out right now because I think it migHOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S TIM KISH

I am Tim Kish.

I like

But it's creepy in a quiet way.

>>579988

TIM KISH????? I AM TIM KISH

>>579973
I'm a history major, I don't to look up April 19th, '95 and April 36th 1986 to know somethings up. not catastrophic my ass... haha.
Good ties though, subtle for those who know, and unknown to those who don't

>More than likely suck, but oh wellz. Make it better /x/.

Item# : SCP-414

Object Class: Keter

Clearance: Level 2

Description: Item is a small tack hammer. The hammer was found at 6:59 pm on Wed. April 3rd, 1985 by ||||||||||. ||||||||| was exploring the catacombs underneath Paris when she came upon a gravesite with a recently mutilated explorer, who was later identified to be ||||||||, |||||||||'s husband gone missing from |||||||||||'s side just moments ago. The object was found in the hand of the brutilized body. The body was covered in iron pikes driven into the extremeties, and large gouge marks on the face and neck. Infectious lacerations covered the lower half of the victim, which had seperated from the upper half.

Special Containment Protocol: Object is to be submerged in liquid nitrogen locked in a chest contained in an airtight room. Upon tests the item allows the user to feel euphoria, and an incessant crave for the item. If a male user is in 20 feet of unprotected airspace, the item will deafen it's host and rupture vessels in the subject's ears. Obtaining the item will result in immediate death, being ripped apart, and the hammer will reach into the body, devouring the subject's warmth. There is no data on why the item craves to be held, or why it hungers for heat. Temperature of the chest not to exceed 77.2 K or breach has occurred. Item 414 will move towards humans and/or center of heat. Patching of container must occur by a female, and must be approved with Division General.

>>580002
explain plox

IT WAS TIM KISH

SCP-625A

Simply referred to as "The cube".

Classification: Proceed as deemed safe, but otherwise it hasn't been noted that #625 has caused any harm.

#625 is a small, seemingly weightless metallic three-dimensional cube. After being found after the Phoenix Lights incident on March 13, 1997, It's relation is unclear as of yet. The cube was describe upon being obtained by the handler. (Agent name: Blue 8.) As while looking at it, the cube would be the only thing that would be in focus in the room, tunnel vision is the best way to describe it. He later described while looking down at the object, a feeling described as being on the edge of a cliff with the uneasy fear that he was going to fall, once holding the cube he was noted to being dizzy. A acute ringing of the ears. Any attempts to film or record the device leads to anywhere between (Depending on how long the recording.) a second, to hours of white noise and video-static. Attempts to melt the object produce no changes in it's properties. The metal isn't radioactive, though electronic equipment shows that it emits the same frequency as radio waves. X-rays show that it contains nothing, and CAT scans prove unfit seeing as the cube tampers with it's equipment. When tossed in the air it falls at a rate that is thought to be impossibly slow, for any object of it's size, or weight. It is deemed harmless, and perhaps, if it is connected with the Phoenix Lights, that is it extra-terrestrial. More to follow once found.

Containment is very minimal, it is kept within the facility on area and under guard between one to three unarmed men.

MY NAME IS KIM TISH

aim chat room
btard

>>580104
>As while looking at it, the cube would be the only thing that would be in focus in the room

The photo makes this extremely ironic.

>>580104
You should cut out names and dates with [DATA EXPUNGED] or something. Makes it sound more like something classified and less like an open book

>>580112
The date has ties to a in-world, and very popular incident.
>>580117
Not really, when I didn't say anything about it when it's being photographed, lurk moar.

>>580130
i dont think
>>580112
asked about any date... was just commenting on the irony of an extremely out of focus picture on an object that is meant to be the only thing seen in clear focus

>>580130
lurk moar? wtf does that have anything to do with the context of those replies? should they check wikichan for more info on why the pic is out of focus? maybe ED like faggots?

lurk moar... god *facepalm.jpg* fucking newfags

>>580325
TIM KISH COMMANDS YOU TO LURK MOAR

among other things, if you writers are trying to create an authentic-looking document, learn to use your apostrophes.

It's = it is
Its = possessive

SCP-888

Item #888

#888 has been sent to laboratory 5-4G for further analysis and possible integration of findings to our electrical mainframe. However, it should remain inside its glass box at all times. No one, not even God himself should he step down from the heavens, is allowed to so much as even breathe on any moving part of #888. Transport of #888 should be undertaken with utmost care, and movement should be restricted to a few centimeters every day. In all likelihood, plans retrofitting laboratory 5-4G into a room dedicated to monitor and safeguard #888 will be undertaken in the near future, including vibration neutralizers capable of muffling earthquakes with up to a magnitude of 8 on the Richter scale.

Desc: Item #888 is a complex system of wheels, pulleys, and other simple machines of unknown design and based on no known scientific principle. This amalgam of steel, plastic, glass, and wood are contained in a 2' glass box. These parts are constantly in motion, and appear to be very sensitive. One obvious part of #888 is a 2" cog balanced on a glass needle, spinning at an observed 180rpm. This cog seems to be the main driveshaft of the system, although the mechanism for its movement are unknown. There are no wires, curiously enough, save for two .5" copper wires floating .25" from the top of the cog, distanced .2" from each other. There is an electric current flowing between the wires. Again, the mechanism responsible for this creation of energy are unknown.

Note: all measurements are estimates, as opening the glass box requires shattering it, resulting in damage to the closed system and most likely destroying its energy-producing capabilities.

I liked that idea...the one about the SCP Facility having some kind of massive failure, and the information starting to leak out. Sorry to keep harping on a site, but it would be a great way to put everything together! I'm working on some new SCP objects...trying to decide mechanical or biological...i don't seem to do so good with living stuff. And thanks everybody for not posting as me! I offer a creepy pic that i can not make a SCP out of as thanks.

Meanwhile, holy crap! #888 seems like it came off of #882! Maybe someone managed to remove a whole gear without going nuts somehow, and made #888. That's cool as heck, even if it was unintentional. Big hi-five to the author!

>>580392
>>580429
SCP-888 appears very good, and I like the idea of it being a part of SCP-882 or something produced by it. Two things about it seem off. 1. Drop the drama, meaning the God Himself part. This is a report. 2. Why must it be handled so carefully? One reason for this has to be its delicate appearance, but surely that cannot be enough.

if i had time i would try and write more or kind of develop a story to one but i'm currently wasting time from doing work :/

ok, i have some questions. First, i have an idea that somewhat connects 882, 015, and 455. Good idea, or would it screw things up? Second, anyone starting a SCP Foundation site should get the title of "SCP Department Head" or "General (name here)", depending on if they want to be in research or recovery. I myself want "Dr. Gears" as a codename. I'm working on two new ones as well...i swear they will not suck as bad as the last one...

>>581022
I wouldn't mind being on there, but I doubt anyone else would want me there

SCP-238

Item #238

Special Containment Procedures:

Object #238 is currently contained by the original means. Current SCP protocols have proven unable to contain #238. All exploration of #238 is suspended until proper containment of #238 has been achieved. Any and all personnel attempting to enter #238 are to be physically restrained and moved to a outside containment area. Upkeep of the current barrier is first priority, and two members of personnel will be present at all times.

No testing, samples, exploration, or documentation until full containment of #238 has been achieved. Any and all persons entering #238 are to be deemed missing, presumed dead.

Description:

Object #238 is a enormous underground facility on the island ostrov Shmidta to the extreme north of Russia. When originally found, the entrance was sealed behind a massive wall of bricks, covered in carvings. This wall was removed, and exploration began. Initial tests showed that the walls, though appearing to be stone, were fossilized tissue of unknown origin. Several structures within the facility led initial exploration teams to conclude that #238 is or was at least half biological.

Shortly after discovery of a central “chamber” consisting of partially rotted flesh and badly decayed metal structures, personnel began to disappear, and numerous accidents claimed eight lives. Odd noises and other hallucinations were reported, and containment was established.

Eight containment walls were destroyed by unknown means, in addition to rapidly escalating “aggressive” phenomenon by #238. Replacement of the original wall has contained #238 effectively, but new SCP containment strategies are requested.

So, 238 any good? Naw, we need everybody alan! you shooting for the military end of it, or R&D?

>>581167
I'd prefer Military, but I'll be anything. & 238 is good, I'll add it.

TIM KISH

hurrah, the site's back up

Item# : SCP-???

Object Class: Keter

Clearance: Level 4

Special Containment Procedures: Item-??? is to be kept in an ordinary secured vault unless an experiment involving it is underway. So long as containment procedures are followed, Item-??? is completely safe and poses no threat; however, deviation in any way is extremely dangerous and could easily cause a catastrophe.

All personnel responsible for the maintenance of Item-??? must have no knowledge of any theory of natural science or mathematics*. Personnel responsible for Item-??? are forbidden from carrying any sort of video camera or digital imaging device of any kind into the containment vault. Due to the sensitive nature of Item-???, its containment vault is equipped with a variety of anti-intrusion devices including motion detectors, sound detectors, thermal sensors, floor and atmospheric pressure sensors, light detectors, laser nets, and cameras in the infrared and ultraviolet spectra. However, no visible-spectrum video camera may be placed in direct view of the object, due to its unique properties.

When Item-??? is transferred, it must be obscured from view of any security or other personnel with any knowledge of natural science or mathematics. An ordinary wooden crate is sufficient, so long as the object is obscured from view.

* Proposal 567-D, which suggests replacing all human personnel with specially trained primates is currently awaiting authorization.

Description: A pair of items, consisting of an antique chalkboard of considerable quality and a large, sharpened piece of chalk. Aside from their unusual properties, the items are otherwise common.

>>581704

Accidentally hit "submit".

Description: A pair of items, consisting of an antique chalkboard of considerable quality and a large, sharpened piece of chalk. Aside from their unusual properties, the items are otherwise common. The chalkboard is of quite sturdy construction. The chalk retains its mass and shape regardless of how often it is used, and is capable of writing on any surface.

Item-??? is believed to have been created by the late, derranged physicist XXXXXX. It was discovered in 1947 after a series of strange events and disappearances at the University of XXXXXX by police, who were investigating the apparent disappearance of biology professor XXXXXX, who was found dead next to the object, apparently having suffered some sort of massive hemorrage. Its properties were first suggested by detective XXXXXX, who observed fellow detective XXX read the contents of the chalkboard, and immediately collapse, apparently suffering the same sort of hemorrage. Detective XXXXXX had already copied the contents of the board to his notebook, which were various biological formulae, and sought his colleague, who had knowledge of biology to interpret their meaning. It was later determined that the chalkboard did indeed contain biological formulae, but that the formulae contained an error in a particular variable which described the permeability of various cellular membranes. Item-??? was later transferred to SCP, where subsequent experiments confirmed its properties.

>>581763

If any sort of formula or diagram describing an scientific or mathematical* law is written on Item-??? using the chalk, any person viewing Item-???, who is capable of understanding the significance of the writing it contains appears to be immediately subject to the logical effects of natural law if the formula or diagram were true. The effect appears to take effect if the object is viewed over any sort of video camera, or any sort of digital imaging technology. If any ordinary natural or mathematical law is written upon the board and viewed by a person with an understanding of said law, there is no observable effect. Likewise, if any sort of formula is written on the board and viewed by a person who is unable to interpret its meaning, there is no effect. However, any error or deliberate alteration to known natural or mathematical law can have severe, likely fatal consequences when viewed by a person capable of understanding its meaning, as demonstrated by the case of professor XXXXXX and detective XXX. Laws which are limited to a specific domain by simplifying assumptions cause no noticeable effects when viewed by someone who understands the underlying principles (such as a person with knowledge of quantum mechanics viewing chemical laws, which simplify the underlying quantum mechanical principles)

* This is mere speculation. Item-??? has only been tested with laws from newtonian mechanics, optics, chemistry, and biology. Standing orders from high command forbid testing it with laws from quantum mechanics, theoretical physics, particle physics, or mathematics of any kind, due to the potentially catastrophic consequences.

Holy crap, that was sweet as hell! and meanwhile, if you can get the site started (my own web site creation skills suck) you could be general of the SCP Retrieval team. Don't know what you'd want for a code name, but i think it'd be sweet. I'm working on another new one, thanks for uploading #238

Also, when did this tim kish nonsense start? hopefully the /b/tards get tired of it soon and head home. Not that i have anything against them really, it's just i dislike having threads buried in nonsense...

SCP-218

Item #218

Special Containment Procedures:

No personnel are to enter the containment area of #218. All interaction with #218 is to be done via robotic assistance. No organic materials anywhere in the containment area. At least one airlock door must be sealed at all times when entering or exiting containment area. Any and all objects entering or leaving containment area must be given a chemical shower with at least 10% acid. All objects leaving the containment area must be inspected in a quarantined area.

Description:

Object #218 appears to be a large mass of parasitic Lamprey. Closer examination has shown that it is in fact one organism, weighing approximately four hundred pounds and covering a area of roughly twenty square feet. The central body is a mass of tissue deep inside connecting the numerous “Lamprey”, for what purpose is yet unknown. Parts of #218 will break off and move around the containment area, attempting to find food or a way out of containment. Smaller masses will be eaten by the main mass after several hours of separation.

Object #218 will attempt to attach to any nearby biological matter. How it finds or detects prey is as yet unknown. It will emit a high keening sound, and begin to move in the direction of prey, “lamprey” extended. It will attach via the “lamprey” and begin to bore into the prey item. “Lamprey” will bore throughout the body, completely ingesting the prey item after several hours. #218 will increase in size proportional to the amount of organic matter ingested.

Object #218 shows a preference for human tissues. Prey coming within ten feet of #218 will suddenly freeze and stare, not moving or attempting to resist as #218 attaches.

it's those damn teeth...anyway, i'm also working on a internal memo from Dr.Gears that may be one of the reasons SCP has broken down.

Someone save the new ones for further discussion (don't know how much time this thread can live)

I have all of mine saved, and the wiki has most of them...I'll keep shocking the thread to life with new stuff as i make it.

Memo

To: SCP Foundation Directors

From: Dr.Gears, Euclid class containment specialist and SCP Object Researcher

Subject: SCP Protocols

Gentlemen,

Allow me first to voice my regard and appreciation for all that you have done. With your intervention, and the tireless work of SCP Containment Teams, we have shielded the world from things which, at the very best, would cause mass panic. Truly, your tireless efforts are appreciated, even if the world will never know of them.

However, I must voice concerns over current SCP protocols. Our current containment sites are growing overcrowded, and even at low capacity, our facilities are often stretched to accommodate objects of even moderate containment security. More off-site facilities need to be established, my suggestions being the expansion of the SCP-#882 facility and the SCP-#455 containment area.

My own work with Euclid class objects has also forced me to difficult conclusions, and caused a rift to form with my peers. I must advise, with all due respect, against Dr.Alcom and Dr.Brogen's suggestion that these objects can somehow be copied and used. With the possible exception of SCP-#888 (assuming that it is a portion of SCP-#882), no object has been duplicated with any degree of success. What's more, there is no way to predict what may occur from such tampering.

Furthermore, Dr.Lydecker's suggestion of using objects against one another, or even combining them, is suicidal at best. His actions at SCP-#882's recovery and containment led to several deaths, and his research and findings are questionable. His work could create objects we have no hope of understanding, let alone contianing.

In conclusion, allow me to thank you for your time and consideration, and please know I have the foundation's best interests at heart.

Dr.Gears

>>582040

>Truly, your tireless efforts are appreciated, even if the world will never know of them.
too much drama, buddy.

>>582041

>What's more
what's more? in an official announcement?

>is suicidal at best
draaaaaaamaaaaaa

>In conclusion, allow me to thank you for your time and consideration, and please know I have the foundation's best interests at heart.
how is that a conclusion to the contents of the letter? He sounds far too pleading with his "please know". He is in a position of knowledge and power.

Dr. Gears sounds retarded.

>His work could create objects we have no hope of understanding, let alone contianing.
You typo'd containing, and i think containment would be of higher priority than understanding.

Other than that, very good letter, well written.

His position is not one of power. What he has been looking into has shaken him badly, and he's starting to doubt SCP and it's ability to contain the objects. He's being dramatic in the hopes of getting someone to listen to him, he's afraid, really deeply scared of what could happen. Something had to happen that leaked all the information, some kind of security breakdown. This was just my (weak) attempt at an idea why. Sorry about the typo, and i'm sorry it's not that great. Just fooling around with ideas...thanks for offering feedback at least!