File :-(, x, )
Anonymous
Item#:SCP-360

Object Class: Safe

Clearance: Any

Description: A hard plastic white monolith with a circle separated into quadrants. SCP-360 was found in a burnt out apartment building and from our tests was the cause of the fire. Pressing the circle on the monolith causes the quadrants to light up green under ideal conditions.

Special Containment Protocol: The containment room must be kept at a constant 10 degrees Celsius with 6 box fans on high directed towards SCP-360. If at any time during research the bottom left most 3 quadrants start to blink red, the agents currently in the room must turn 360 degrees and then walk backwards slowly. Just walking away would cause a logic error on the scale of dividing by zero. Once out of the room have another agent wearing level 4 HAZMAT armor come in to package it up in a "coffin" box and send it off to [EXPUNGED] and then await a replacement in 1-2 weeks.
>> Anonymous
Nice. I loled.
>> Anonymous
Item# SCP-014 Special Containment Procedures: 014’s holding cell is to remain locked at all times. Personnel of sufficient clearance (as determined by facility administrator) may be admitted to view 014 after submitting a formal request in advance. Anyone handling SCP-014 needn’t take any special precautions, though common sense dictates that one should wash their hands afterwards.

Appearance: SCP-014 takes the form of an antique dinner fork, well worn, and as near as can be estimated, not cleaned since the 1890’s. The object is fashioned from the electroplated nickel-silver typical of the suspected period of its manufacture and the rightmost tine is bent slightly outward. Brown stains and mold adorn the prongs and the pits of the decorative parts of the handle. Analysis of this material seems to indicate that SCP-014 was last used on some form of beef.

SCP-014 was moved to this facility in the early Seventies and seems, for all intents and purposes, to be an entirely mundane dinner fork. If it is possessed of any extra-ordinary qualities, these are known only to those in the very highest echelon of this project’s coordinators, whose representatives assure us that 014 is, quote “Very Important”. Officers who have spent time alone with SCP-014 are unanimous in their appreciation that the object is of great significance (hence its continued presence at this site), though none can quite say why [see >>Testimony of Major ?????? ??????????, February, 1972]. No tests on SCP-014 are authorized. Any personnel observed attempting to compromise 014 in any way are to be shot on sight.