CP. Lots of it.

good question, maybe the other secrets of the world are there, such as pandoras box

>>578397
I knew it would be found one day...

Aren't they in a warehouse in a scene from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?

DUN DUNNN

http://www.warehouse23.com/basement/

>>578409

>You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

Odd socks.

Isn't the ark of the covenant supposed to be real?

>>578409
You open one of the 995 boxes on this floor and find...
A hand mirror that shows the user his own skull. In general, the flesh of any living being reflected in the mirror seems transparent; bones, cyberware, etc., can be seen within.

Wow...that's pretty cool actually

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
A photograph of the person who opened the box, but looking older, taken inside some sort of building with featureless grey walls.

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...
A dozen five-gallon buckets of paint, labeled "BRICK (RED)." It covers in a single coat, dries in about half an hour, and creates a flat brick-red finish. During the next week, mortar joints slowly appear first as pink lines, then as gray lines. During the week after that, the texture of the brick and mortar becomes indistinguishable from the real thing. Nearby crates contain buckets of "BRICK (USED)," "STONE (FINISHED)," and "STONE (IRREGULAR)" paint.

wat

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...

A large map of the US and Canada (folded up and stamped `Top Secret'). Several large arrows start in Canada and point at important US cities and military installations. At the base of each arrow is a military sounding label such as `25th Airborne', `6th Mech. Inf.', or `1st Armored Canoe Division'.

lol wut?

.>>578409
They got a dumpster too..
You open the lid of the dumpster, and peer inside to see . . .
. . . a yellow and white checkered sphere bearing four faces painted in black. As you turn the heavy object over within your palms, you hear a series of faint clicking noises coming from within. Reaching into the crate again, you pull out a manual entitled, simply, "The Mark One Spinning Face - Deadly accurate. Pneumatic-driven. No system clocks. Will never crash." The rest of the manual is written in a pictographic language you are unable to decypher.

>>578725
A layer of pulp peels off the side of the dumpster and falls. Behind it you see . . .
A fur sink.

I lol'd

>>578726


You move a layer of nameless trash, and unearth . . .
A gasoline-powered turtleneck sweater.

You open one of the 995 boxes on this floor and find...
Rolls of what look like toilet paper. Wrappers identify the brand as "Klingex Klimbables." There's a fine-print warning message below the "brand name" that reads: "Warning: Do NOT touch Klingex to skin or expose to liquids."


Well that's fucking useful!

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...

A high-quality, hand-tooled leather case containing all the equipment for easy use of heroin. Several packets of the high-purity drug are included. All the equipment bears the seal of the President of the United States.

HELL YEAH

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
It is filled with thousands of squirming pinkie fingers. You can feel your stomach churn at the disgusting sight. You become even more distressed when your own little fingers drop off unexpectedly and squirm into the box.


BRI/x/

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
A medium-sized, antique chest with metal sides and fittings. A heavy chain is wrapped securely around the chest and is secured with a heavy, elaborate lock. The surface of the lock is heavily scratched, especially around the keyhole. From inside the chest come the sounds of a baby softly crying, interspersed with someone pleading incoherently for release. A weathered note tacked to the chest reads, "DO NOT open under any circumstances!" The box also contains a number of shoes of various ages, styles and sizes. All the shoes are slightly scorched.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...

A headless body, clad in a soldier's uniform. There is a medical insignia pinned to its chest, next to a tag marked "Clapham-Lee." The body is bound tightly and fastened to the inside of the box. It twitches spasmodically.

OSHI-

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
A step-by-step plan on how to engineer the apocalypse. Every step but the last two have been checked off.


DO WANT.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
Assorted "Spare Nipples" in small foil packages.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
Several close-up B&W photographs of a small, poker-faced Mexican girl standing in an empty room. On her forehead, there is a fingerprint.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
Truth.
So that's where I left it.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
A very well preserved scroll from ancient Byzantium. It lists the 23 wonders of the World, the 23 men that played 23 trumpets for 23 days around the fallen walls of Jericho, and Jesus Christ's last 23 words.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
A transcript of everything your group has said since they entered the warehouse, right up to the point when they opened the box. It's typed - on an old manual typewriter - and covered with a light layer of dust.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
A spider, spinning an absurdly complicated web. The web is a model of the WWW, and, if you examine it closely, you start to see some interesting correlations...

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
An ornate silver chalice that looks exactly like your mental image of the Holy Grail. If you drink from it, you'll discover its true nature: it's a dribble glass.

LULZ

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...

W.T. Snack's CP stash

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
Diamonds. Hundreds of them.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
Bible II: the sequel!

>>578747

They already have that, it's called "The Book of Mormon"

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
A children's comic book, Tales of the Wilderlund, featuring talking animals having rather tame adventures. The dialogue, titles and advertising are written in a strange dialect of English. While they don't refer to them or use them, the animals all have explicitly drawn genitalia.

FURRIES ARE EVERYWHERE.

/thread

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...

A small, plush gibbon. If gently squeezed, it says "You need more zinc in your diet!" It then begins breathing, and won't stop for several minutes.

Awesome.

>>578732
It's the Fluid Catalytic Cracking Unit. It makes shoes for orphans. Nice job breaking it, hero.

Your foot slips, and you almost step into . . .
A book that tells you how to say oogoly-googly with a mouth full of horse-radish on Easter.

Exploring further in the aromatic darkness, you find . . .
An antipope. If applied to a real pope it explodes instantly.


Fun.

Exploring further in the aromatic darkness, you find . . .
A small sheep, that, instead of going "Baa," it speaks fluent Spanish, Greek and Russian, and claims to have designed 3/4s of all the worlds lighthouses.

What looks like a German helmet from World War II tips over, spilling an unidentifiable liquid and . . .
A nail polish that thinks it's a goat.

Hearing footsteps, you duck low to avoid discovery, and almost put your nose into . . .
The first working submarine, a 4 million year old fish... with twin bucket seats in it's ear.

You move a layer of nameless trash, and unearth . . .
a great dane that has been hollowed out and turned into a carry bag complete with carry handle

D:

In a battered box wrapped with pink string and "Biohazard" warning tape, you discover . . .
A tire pump that inflates living creatures. try it, its fun!

A layer of pulp peels off the side of the dumpster and falls. Behind it you see . . .
This is your average looking Ford Truck Carburator, except it seems to glow an eerie yellow. When you tell it "Jackie Chan can beat up Bruce Lee, any day.," it hums slightly, and starts a count-down, if you're ballsy enough to stick around through the whole thing, it gives you a third arm...

A layer of glowing styrofoam peanuts moves and scatters, as though blown by a wind you cannot feel. It reveals . . .
Hmmmm.....it's almost a coffin. You open it to find the quarterised skeleton of an apparent human with a crude quartz heart in the rib cage. You sniff, STILL SIZZLING.

You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...
The fossilized remains of a T. Rex, a human skeleton, a watch, a rusted handgun, and a preserved but unidentifiable device. A diagram shows the items located in what would have been the creature's stomach. The T. Rex seems to have died from gunshot wounds.

:D

"A silver dog whistle. If you use it in a mall parking lot, your car will come to you. Your dog is incapable of hearing the whistle, but looks at you quizzically if you try it near him."

This will come in handy.

You open one of the 995 boxes on this floor and find...

A navy blue windbreaker, like the ones the FBI, ATF, and other law enforcement agencies issue to agents in the field. Printed on the back in large yellow letters is the phrase "Jackbooted Federal Thug." Anyone wearing the jacket will be treated like a fellow agent by other law enforcement officers, regardless of his actual behavior or appearance. Any actions taken by the wearer will be seen as normal and acceptable to all genuine agents nearby.

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...
A book of recipes for human flesh.


That wasn't very dramatic ._.

You open one of the 1001 boxes on this floor and find...

The box is filled to the brim with styrofoam packing peanuts. Eager to find out what is inside, you stick your hands into the box before noticing the sign on the lid - "WARNING - Carnivorous Packing Material! Take proper precautions!" Too late - the peanuts are starting to swarm . . . .

PACKING PEANUTS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

>>578958

I kind of liked it.

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A terrarium containing a large black snake which appears to be reading a crumbling page of Hebrew script and hissing irritably.

i hate snakes! D:

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A very ugly slug-like creature making a sad little sighing noise. If eaten fresh, it is delicious.

saving that for lunch

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...
1994 and 1995 U.S. tax returns for the current Pope, showing a home address in Long Island.

I KNEW IT!

You open one of the 1001 boxes on this floor and find...

A stack of correspondence, obviously quite old. Examination reveals them to be original letters between George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and other notables of the American Revolution. The content of the letters appears to be entirely concerning the planting, preparation, and use of the hemp plant. The last few documents detail how the new government will eventually have to ban hemp in order to remain in power.

You open one of the 1001 boxes on this floor and find...

The perfectly preserved body of an unusually large mallard. Its beak has been wrapped several times with red-plaid duct tape. A 3"x5" card is attached to the end of the tape. It reads, "Run like hell. Vampire ducks are messy eaters."

wtf?

>>578967
Wow, it's a Nazi snake. That must be Indiana Jones' mortal enemy!

Two aged parchments from circa. AD37, the first detailing Pilates and Tiberius plot to fake the appearance of the Christ to unite the Jews and eventually the fragmenting Roman Empire under the religion of Christ.
The second reveal that the drug slipped to Christ on the cross (placed in the wine vinegar administered to all crucification victims) accidentally killed him when it was only meant to induce the appearance of death. Pilates inspects the body and declares death.
The parchment goes on to detail Christ's true resurrection after days in his tomb, much to the stupifaction of Pilates whose original fake Messiah plan had gone much better than planned.

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A copy of Santa's list of "Bad Little Girls" for any year, sorted geographically.

fuck yeah, naughty lolis!

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A six-foot watermelon. If opened, the investigators will find a 5'6" attractive human female attatched to the side with an umbilical cord. She will awaken ten minutes later, stand, and say something in an unknown language. If studied, the inside of the watermelon shows the same characteristics as the human uterus during pregnancy. The woman registers as human on all tests.

wut

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

A dusty, Victorian style contraption resembling the time travel device from the movie "The Time Machine." The two crystal control rods are missing.

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

A very old, very yellowed newspaper clipping that contains a White House press release regarding the cure for something called "Strain 825." It is dated November 4, 2028.

--

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

A shotgun. Pulling the trigger causes it to leak small amounts of whiskey.

--

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

A book entitled "Pocket Universes for Dummies" A sticker on the front says "Free kit included!"

--

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

A ringing telephone. It's London calling.

--
You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

One silver bullet, .45 caliber, suitable for a handgun. The bullet may be used to solve any problem - if you fire it at an opponent, the opponent will die, or be rendered harmless, or surrender, depending on the firer's best interests. Fired at a broken piece of machinery, it will fix it. Fired at a difficult math problem, it will solve it.

--

A mood ring. When put on, it instantly turns red, and the wearer becomes angry. Twisting the jewel in its setting causes it to change color, and the wearer's mood will change accordingly.

--

A nigger

--

An black metallic statue of a groundhog covered in obscene runes.

--

An odd device labeled "Banana Straightener (TM)." It works, but the straight bananas produced seem somehow . . . ominous.

--

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

An oven-ready chicken. It tastes like human.

--

The dried and preserved navel of Cleopatra. There is a ruby in it.

--

Several lists of events that will happen in the future. You close the box and look for something not quite so trite.

--

A Japanese comic book containing the story of your life, exaggerated anime-fashion. Everyone has cartoonishly over-expressive eyes, and there are a lot more explosions, swordfights, and scantily-clad women.(weaboo)

--

A 3rd grader's book report on "The 120 Days of Sodom."

--

THE END

>>578408
>>578394

To answer your question, yes, they go back to that warehouse, and yes, they store lots of things there. Like the UFO from Roswell.

>>578407
You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A plexiglas cube containing a little blonde girl, perhaps eight years old. She will plead to be let out, telling a story about being kidnapped by MIBs. A casual inspection of the cube reveals that there are no air holes. Letting her out would be a really bad idea.

>>579020

Woah, the 4th of November is my birthday!

All these boxes are made of wood.

1. Burn the place down
2. Wait
3. Waltz in and pick up treasure
4.???
5. PROFIT!

>>579073
But what if the treasure is also flammable?

A case of "Cthulhu Crunch" snack mix. The brightly colored boxes proclaim "100% unnatural ingredients!"

You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...

An invisible mouse. It is very affectionate and likes to climb on people.


There's no need for invisible mice.

>>579074
What kind of treasue would that be?
Wooden coins? Petrolium gold?
Not in my lifetime.

>>579084
The True Cross.

>>579084
microchips, important documents, FUCKING DOLLAR BILLS.
you, sir, are a dumbass.

You open one of the 777 boxes on this floor and find...

An old, corded phone... without the cord or dials.

Putting the phone to your ear will instantly call up whoever is on your mind at the moment, living or dead.

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A very strange television. The cabinet is austere, in ebony with a single strip of chrome trim. The screen is 5" wide and 12" tall. There is a single on/off button. Pressing it will display a man in a vaguely martial-looking suit delivering an alarming, jingoistic diatribe about the Great Struggle and the depredations of the Enemy. This goes on for three hours, then another speaker takes his place. Briefly displayed during the switchover is a slide depicting an eye in a pyramid. A chorus of strident voices chant "To a New Order in the World" as the image fades away.

>>578394

i forgot how awesome that ending to raiders of the lost ark was.

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A number of sticky, slimy, sodden game cards, and a jar of some sort of putrid slime. The label on the jar reads "Vile Secretions."

secretions?

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A mason jar, in the middle of a Monopoly board which has been inscribed with a protective pentagram. It holds a severed nose, pickled, with acorns in the nostrils. This is the nose of Aleister Crowley, and houses his spirit. If the pentagram were to be broken, the nose removed from its jar, and the acorns removed, Crowley would. . . well, you'll just have to try it and find out, won't you?

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

. . . that your arm refuses to open the box. Any attempt to open the box is totally ignored by your arms. Apparently, they know something you don't.

Uh oh...

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A Magic 8 ball. You shake it several times, only to find answers such as "What, are you kidding me, loser?" "Get off my back!" and "Whaddaya think this is, Psychic Network?" You are annoyed and shake it quite violently, causing one last answer: "The world is going to end on Tuesday."

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A collaborative book by Dr. Seuss and Stephen King.

>>579337
Oh that sounds good.

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A plastic dinosaur, 2 packages of instant noodles, and a roll of Duct Tape.

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A strange device with a single button. Pressing it will generate a singularity.

.FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

>>579378
A division by zero remote?


You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...

A complete, accurate, and straightforward catalog of the Warehouse's contents. Also five hundred and twenty two false catalogs of the Warehouse's contents. They all claim to be true.

A cloud of orange smoke drifts away to reveal . . .
An antipope. If applied to a real pope it explodes instantly.

LULZ

You open one of the 1001 boxes on this floor and find...

A vial labeled "Illusion Removal Serum." It contains LSD.

You open one of the 1001 boxes on this floor and find...

A film can containing several cartoons featuring popular characters paying homage to Adolph Hitler and the Third Reich. Apparently, someone wanted to cover their bases in case Germany won WWII. The Mickey Mousellini cartoons are particularly disturbing...

You open one of the 997 boxes on this floor and find...

A case of 144 3-minute egg timers. If one is removed from its box, it becomes obvious that the sand trickles up, from the bottom chamber into the top chamber.

RED checked the box...
Found RARE CANDY!

You open one of the 997 boxes and find the following...

A collection of "brand-new" Super Nintendo and N64, some being sequels to classics like Super Mario World and Ocarina of Time never been played before.

A nuclear warhead with a note attached to it reading "TO: CANADA, PLEASE DROP AT A SAFE DISTANCE ABOVE GROUND (April 21st, 1961)"

A sock to ejaculate in.

>>579463LOL.

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A digital satellite dish. It's not for television, but for hacking. It allows you access into any orbiting manmade satellite launched from 1976 until the present date, and to any other system linked to that satellite. The brand name is "Hack-o-Matic!"

You open one of the 996 boxes on the floor and find...
A De Lorean with a Stretch Armstrong sitting in the passenger's seat that is capable of creating and passing through a wormhole to stretch to "next week". Two distinct-looking vents hang off the back of the vehicle and in the center of the interior-back of the two-door vehicle show a box with cords emitting light that make out a "Y" shape. Label under it says "SHIELD EYES FROM LIGHT".
Below the center of the dashboard has some kind of rectanglar unit with three rows of LCD lights that look like a digital clock. It reads from top to bottom "MON SEP 11 2001", "MON APR 07 2008", and "OCT 21 2015".

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A whistle. The mouth end is welded to a 15 cm cube of solid iridium. A tag says "Silent Cthulhu whistle. DO NOT BLOW!"

Who wants to trade?

>>579502
You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A shotgun and several shotgun shells. The shotgun is inscribed with strange text on the barrel. The shells are white with gold Hebrew letters painted on them.

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A condom, sealed in silver Mylar foil. When unrolled, its total length is 1.5 meters. The back of the foil packet is imprinted 'medium'.

And I thought MY dick was big.

>>579505

Bah, just a standard issue anti-jesus gun. All Atheists get one when they join the Illuminati.

>>579505
If you're offering to trade, done! Sounds like something that could kill what I found in a different box...

>>578720
actually yes, it is its just really hard to find. like the spear of destiny

You open one of the 994 boxes on the floor, and find...
a fine layer of dust, disturbed only by the small, desiccated corpse of a mouse.

>>579517

Except we have what is reputed to be the actual spear of destiny (no actual magical powers or properties), and we don't have the ark. Even the people in Etheopia who claim to have it have to admit that it has new handles, new coating, new wood, and no original pieces remaining (if there ever were any original pieces to theirs).

>>578963
you cnat trust him he flew here on a banana. the polygraph dont lie

>>579515
you open one of the 998 boxes and find ...

the 999th box

that the box is looking back into you.

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A large, friendly dog. Within a few days, the dog will develop stomach problems and vomit out a smaller dog, less friendly but otherwise completely healthy. A few days later, the smaller dog grows sick and vomits forth an even smaller, angrier dog. This continues.

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A cardboard box of popular interlocking building blocks with instructions for assembling over 1,000 models. All the models can be built, at the same time, without affecting the number of bricks still in the box.

Fuck yeah! Infinite Lego! Should I tell /toy/?

>>578409

Thanks for ruining any creativity this thread might have had before it even began. Die.

You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...
A Magic Eight Ball (tm). Every so often, when turned over without a question being asked, it replies with "HELP ME". . ..

fuk yeah!

YOU OPEN ONE OF THE 998 BOXES AND YOU FIND
a dick

You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...

The original text, with a modern commentary, of the gospel of Judas Iscariot, in which he explains how all of Christ's "miracles" were performed, as well as some of the fun he had playing tricks on the rest of the disciples.

You open one of the 999 boxes on the ground and receive... an uppercut

You try as hard as you can to open one of the 999 boxes lying around. However, you are unable to open it. After turning around to choose a different box, you suddenly slip and bash your head on the original one.
When you come to, you find a single coin.
The box is gone.

>>579744
Nigga stole mah box!

all the unsold Episode I DVDs

If someone gets the one about the "halos" that get stuck above the victim's head and make them grow wings, could you post it? I wanted to copy it down but refreshed the page without thinking.

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A series of snapshots featuring a naked couple in pristine wilderness. An odd assortment of wildlife from around the world is present, including a creature that appears to be a snake with legs. Later photos feature a group of small flying babies wielding a very large flaming sword. Many of the pictures are badly out of focus.

.......
what the fuck?

>>579818
Adam and Eve, the snake/devil in the garden.
I don't get the last part but it's probably from Revelations or something.

>>579834
>According to the Bible, a Cherub with a rotating flaming sword was placed by God at the gates of Paradise after Adam and Eve were banished from it (Genesis 3:24). Eastern Orthodox tradition says that from the time Jesus was born, the flaming sword was removed from the Garden of Eden, making it possible for humanity to re-enter Paradise

MY NAME IS TIM KISH MOTHER FUCKERS!

A small harness to be worn around the head and neck of a dolphin. On the right hand side is a small weapon which fires coherent sonic pulses strong enough to punch a hole through the side of a modern naval vessel from a range of 100 yards. The weapon is connected to electrodes on the harness which appear to control targeting and fire control. The item is tagged "Obsolete."

Fuck.
Yeah.

THERE SOME TIM KISH IN THEM BOXES

>>579843
BUT WHAT OF THE CHERUB?!

>>579997
What about it?

It's a flying baby.

>>579843
Wouldn't it have been more ergonomic to give the cherub a fireball which had the radius length of a flaming sword?

>>580013
A flying baby that has the martial training required to handle an all-rotating blade of flames. A flying baby that has been put out of its job so that filthy naked apes can have a good ol' degenerated naked time.

>>580014
Forget ergonomic, with god it's straight up awesome or nothing at all.

Martial Training? Pfft... Go all out and get Exotic Weapon Proficiency and then you can wield dire flails and shit.

>>580024
A flying baby with a flaming sword and a crazy case of carpal tunnel, not all that awesome.

>>580032
Who says Cherubs get carpal tunnel?

SAYS TIM KISH

You open one of the 1000 boxes on this floor and find...

A spherical birthday cake, with 20 candles sticking out at all angles, floating with no apparent support in the middle of the crate. The candles light themselves, and the cake starts floating upwards - and growing.

You fuckers, I thought the cake was a lie.

You open one of the 1001 boxes on this floor and find...
Several clay tablets with writing in cuneiform. If anyone can read it, they'll find what appears to be a complete manifest of everything in the warehouse, including yourself under the title "visitors."

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
A broken boat oar and a glass case containing a large number of open scrolls. The scrolls are written in ancient Japanese, and the case is marked with a tag that reads: "Go Rin No Sho, original."

wat

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
A large raygun-like device about the size of a small car, with a gunner's chair and electronic sights. It is covered in a thick coat of volcanic dust which a geologist will determine came from the northwestern United States. If the gun is aimed at any dormant volcano or volcanic island and the trigger button pressed, the volcano will erupt. The memo in the box says that this model was retired when they perfected the safer orbital version.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
The box is filled with gold cups and chalices, all differing styles. A card identifies the Holy Grail as the cup numbered "1" - except all the labels have fallen off....
FUCK

You open one of the 998 boxes on this floor and find...
Several packages of innocent-looking shoe insets, labeled "Dr. Odeur's Soul Eaters." A variety of sizes are here, but using them is not recommended.

a dog

>>580078
NO, TIM KISH

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...
A red ball apparently made of rubber. It fits comfortably into the palm of the hand. If it is dropped, it will bounce back to the height from which it was dropped and will continue to do so until someone stops it. Every time the ball hits the floor, it turns green for a moment and says the word "boing" in a pleasant contralto voice.


boing

An amulet that resembles a small green lizard. Its wearer will see any text that is incorrect in some way as red text on a blue background. This includes errors in math, logic, spelling, grammar, or history; only the incorrect part (such as a misspelled word) is highlighted. Opinions appear as printed, as do the holy canons of any religion.

>>578394
My guess is that it's full of things the government needs to store.

>>578408
Same one.

>>578720
You're kidding right?
Yes it's real. So are crystal skulls.
As is television. Alligators are also real.

>>579073
Gold melts, documents burn.

>>578988
You're an idiot.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with the people in this thread?

So where does the painting start?.. I know they went so far in the warehouse then used a giant painting for the rest.

>>580093
I plaigarised my scroll post from a FICTIONAL book I once read. Since this thread is about FICTIONAL objects I assumed posting FICTION would be ok. This warehouse, along with the Ark of Covenant a the majority of other religious artifacts, especially those in the Indiana Jones movies are FICTIONAL.
And I hope to the Jesus that everyone here realises that this thread and the ideas about such a warehouse is just for fun and that it doesn't truly exist.

You open one of the 995 boxes on this floor and find...

. . . nothing? No, wait. Something small but heavy is sliding around inside. You can hear it and feel it move as you shift the box. You reach in, and grasp what turns out to be a three-piece desk set . . . metal scissors, metal letter opener, and a little leather (you think) case or sheath to hold them both. But all three pieces are perfectly, completely invisible.

You open one of the 995 boxes on this floor and find...

A moldy dessicated ham sandwich and a thermos.
.
.
.
.
.
Obviously, a warehouse worker stashed his lunch here and then couldn't find it again.

Torchwood now owns all of it.

>>578409

A cheeseburger which can be carbon dated back to Imperial Rome. It still feels warm to the touch and if bitten into tastes as if just taken off the grill. It has too much mustard on it, though.

Fuck, I hate mustard!

You open one of the 1006 boxes on the floor to find a Vending machine selling immortality for $1.25. All you have with you is your credit card.

>>580261

Resort to vandalism?

>>580265
There's a police officer standind a foot away from you. He shakes his head slowly.

>>580279
What if I offer him some immortality as well?

>>579385
You open one of the 997 of the boxes on the floor and find
<~her!
To rape or not to rape?

I swear I JUST watched this movie for the first time since I had developed an actual memory (only 24, the movie is 27) and the ending puzzled me too.

Odd that you would post this one day after I was thinking the same thing about a movie that's nearly 30 years old.

You open one of the 996 boxes on this floor and find...
a ton of rubber nipples.Always useful in any situation

>>580334
??

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

A large rug of apparently Middle Eastern origin, with tassels around the edges. If it is placed upside down on the ground and someone sits in a lotus position in the center, it will float several inches off the ground. It will maneuver according to the will of the user. Breathing apparatus is recommended for high-altitude use.

Your Ferrari can kiss my hairy ass!

It's the FBI cp archive, obviously.

You open one of the 999 boxes on this floor and find...

999 boxes.

You open one of the 999 boxes in the box and find...

999 boxes.

>>578738
this hurts fuck this hurts fuck this hurts fuck this hurts fuck this hurts fuck this hurts fuck this hurts fuck this hurts.

I am saving this under the filename "warehouse of wonders"

You open one of the 995 boxes on this floor and find...
A large alien device. It has a golden spherical center with an opening to what appears to be the front, exposing the blue crystal orb inside. Attached to the golden center are two large handles made of a silver colored alloy. The handle bars each have four finger holes in them although they are way to big for human hands.
A faint blue light shines from its crystal core.

The SCP items

There's a Medical Kit (S) in each of the boxes. If you hold up the guard, however, he drops Rations (L).