Item #: SCP-016
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Item SCP-016 is to be kept at all times in 8x8 feet cubicle. No direct contact is to be made with SCP-016. SPC-016 may have the following objects inside its cubicle, 1 box of Kleenex brand tissue, 1 wide screen monitor, 1 HP computer model number b1730r, 1 gallon of Absolut. The box of Kleenex and the bottle of Absolut are to be replenished daily. No personnel may access the computer or look directly at the monitor.
Failure to comply with these measures may cause a violent reaction in SCP-016. Personnel who have failed to provide SCP-016 with the above mentioned items or personnel who have accessed the computer or looked directly at the monitor have experienced long bouts of depression, anxiety, paranoia, excessive masturbation, have taken to calling black staff members niggers, and in severe cases have been known to rape female personnel.
Description: SCP-016 appears to be many things to many different staff members often resembling a slightly overweight white male but may also appear to be female, Black, Hispanic, Asian, and European.