File :-(, x, )
Finals over/I finish the first creepypasta I ever wrote for /x/ HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
7.19.47-PROJECT MOGUL-Chaves County
Drs. X,Y, Colonel Z----TELETYPE----Wright Field
cc to: HQ, 8th Air Force, Communications Section
Transcript of Coroner's Report

X: This is Doctor X, physician attending, the dicta-phone is now recording.
Y: This is Doctor Y, physician assisting.
Z: And this is Colonel Z, supervising Defense Department liaison. The following is classified for your ears only and regards Mr. Brazel's discovery in July of this year outside of Corona, New Mexico. Doctors, you can begin.
X: Initial observations-
Z: Is it alright if I smoke?
X: By all means. Initial observations: subject is roughly four feet tall, weighs about eighty pounds. A human-like body with grey to green skin; greening is most prominent in the face around the mandibles and eyesockets. Dr. Y, could you get a photograph of the, uh, mouth area there?
Y: Yep.
X: Black eyes, four inches in diameter, perfect circles. Pupils of a white or grey color. No other coloration within the eyes. No nose but two small.. what appear to be nostrils. Mouth has four mandible-stalks which extend from the four corners of the mouth, about five inches in length, ending in a small hole. Possibly used for liquids. The inner mouth, that is, the mouth the mandibles extend from, contains three rows of small, dull teeth, about a fifty to a row. Inner mouth is a purple blue color. Teeth appear to be made of silicate of some kind. The entire organic structure, in fact, appears to be silicon based-
Z: Let me stop you there, Dr. X. Feel free to speculate but preface it before you do, this transcript will be prepared and submitted to POTUS.
X: I apologize.
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>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
     File :-(, x)
Y: Yep.
X: Thorax is of a similar skin tone, no nipples or belly-button of any kind, arms extend from this block shaped chest cavity at right angles. Appear to be some sort of radicals tattooed or burned into the skin just above where the human heart would be, Y, could you-
Y: Yep.
X: Arms extend to where the human knee would be, proportionally.. legs are similar, just appear to be more tentacles rather than limbs. No strong bone structure in any of the limbs, seems to be cartilage. No hands of any kind, just one extension that appears to be identical to the mouth mandible, one for each arm and foot. Mandible curves inward to the torso. Alright Dr. Y, that scalpel, if you don't mind?
Y: Here you go.
X: Okay. Beginning incision where the forehead would be. I should note, no hair of any kind, just a bald, slick rounded oval. Okay. Cutting.
Z: Christ-
Y: That's disgusting-
X: Whew! Okay, well, pretty putrid stench upon incision. The body is secreting a black viscous fluid of some kind. Incision reveals a grid structure of artery-like tunnels. Appears to be perfectly geometric, right angles neatly aligned and all. The scalpel blade can't tear these veins, or whatever they are. Y, could you please take a picture of this and then pass me the bone saw?
Y: Mmhm.
X: Okay, thank you. Annd.. okay. We've severed the grid structure. More of that gummy black fluid is spilling into the inner chest cavity. Wow. This is remarkable.
Z: Please remember to describe your findings.
X: I know, I know, I was just. Wow. Well, there seems to be a collection of glass vials in here, all oval, all connected to the inner grid of veins. Seem to be small light sources spinning inside, it's hurting my eyes to look directly at them. The black fluid evaporates into smoke when it drips onto the glass, probably fifty or so black vials altogether. It should be noted that there were also fifty radicals or characters on that tattoo- possibly a quinary system of number?
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
     File :-(, x)
Y: Doctor, do you think it's possible for us to air out this room or at least get some menthol to put under our noses?
Z: Yes. Please.
X: Okay, haha, okay. Ending the first record, we'll pick up with this in about five minutes.
X: Alright, this is Doctor X once again, I've resumed tape and I trust all of us are comfortable with the smell in the room?
Y: Yes.
Z: I think we can begin again.
X: And I agree. Okay, extending open the chest cavity again.. huh.
Z: Please remember to-
X: It appears the glass vials have gone out, as it were. Dr. Y would you do me a huge favor and find me some.. just a glass pipette if you would.
Y: Okay.
Z: While Dr. Y is looking for that, can I take this opportunity to ask some questions I'm sure the listeners are having at this point?
X: Absolutely, of course, I'm totally-
Z: Why do you reckon the corpse has remained in such good condition since its discovery earlier this month?
X: Well, to be honest we have no idea as to what condition its in. This creature is obviously- oh my god! Y! Y!
Z: For the record.. jesus christ..
Y: Helen..
X: Jesus Christ, Bob, sit up, good christ, look at you..
Z: For the record, Dr. Y has just suffered from what appears to be an extremely powerful.. uh.. nosebleed. He collapsed immediately but is still bleeding profusely from his nostrils.. and now his mouth..
X: Listen, Bob, you need to look up at me, tilt your head back, I can't have you keep lolling forward like this. See, there? Not so bad, I tell you. And here I thought I was out one assisting physician, right?
Y: You need to tell Helen..
X: Oh, come off it, you just had a nosebleed, probably the menthol for all we know.
Y: You tell her and Maggie I love them very much.
X: I assure you, you're nowhere near-
Z: Oh my god.
X: Fuck! Bob!
>> Anonymous
Your creepypasta sucks ass.
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
Z: He's going into convulsions, Dr. X is there anything I can do here?
X: No, fuck! No! Damn it, Colonel, you told me this area had been rated green! You told me we scrubbed this place!
Z: You think I'd walk into a room that wasn't green? You think I'd subject myself to that without protection?
X: I think either you're stupid or Bob was a closet hemophiliac, one of those theories seems to be a lot more plausible..
Z: Look, you're upset, I understand.. let me try and get someone to.. uh, attend to all this, okay?
X: I can't believe it. Dead. Dead.
Unidentified: One twenty one.
X: Oh!
Unidentified: I'm afraid that was my fault. You've injured me very seriously with your blades and I have been unable to defend myself.
Y: There, that's better. One twenty one.
X: ...
Y: Your Colonel Z is upstairs vomiting in a squat white bowl, I wouldn't worry about it.
>> HowToKill/x/ !eHtHhTTM12
X: I didn't say.. oh my god what the fuck all is going on..
Y: All very difficult to explain, and especially what with me using such a fragile system to communicate. You somehow managed to sever my cortices from my generators.. really a one in a million shot, as you say, you know, one twenty one, but that's beside the point.
X: Bob, look, this really is not funny to me, you just got done telling me to.. tell you wife and kids you love them for chrissakes, and-
Y: He's dead, he's winked out, I'm sorry, it's me, I don't have a designation, I haven't earned one yet, so, you know, you'll need to just bear with me here. Thankfully this fellow Bob has a lot of information stored in his cortex on human anatomy, and he's equipped with a communicator of some kind. You'd be shocked at how rare all that is. Really. Hard to come by.
X: Stop it, goddamn you!
Y: You're right, I need to go. Here's what you'll do, you're going to get up and hold together the two parts of what used to be my head and you're going to do it until you don't need to anymore. You're going to do this because I said so and because if you don't, we'll open up a contained black hole just above your planet and let the hole fill up. You understand?
X: You want me to-
Y: Attaboy. Get up. There we are. Yes. Yes, you're doing just right.
Unidentified: We're done here. Just a moment, please. Take this.
X: What is it?
Unidentified: It's a device that lets whoever you choose talk to us. Don't use it yourself, trust me, you're no chieftain. One twenty one.
Z: Alright, and here we are, there on the floor is, uhm, well.. Gerry, where's the subject?
X: You need to see this.
>> Anonymous
And then Dr. X was a zombie
>> Anonymous
Congratulations OP, you've truly earned your namefag title.
>> Anonymous
Horrible story. Kill yourself, tripfag.
>> Anonymous
I liked it. The fact that it wasn't scary didn't bother me. The fact that an alien who was being cut open didn't WANT to murder everyone it sees was nice.
>> Anonymous
>> Anonymous
Pointless boring dogshit.
>> Anonymous
I pissed blood onto some paper one time and wrote a better story than this.
>> Anonymous
ITT: A bunch of faggots with no original content of their own spewing bile instead of offering constructive criticism.

Personally, I can see why you chose to write this the way you did, but the format itself rather excludes the proper chill factor. It wasn't even enough to give me goosebumps, and it could have if it had been well-written in narrative form. I'd suggest a complete rewrite; it seems to be a good enough idea to be worth it.
>> Anonymous

>> Anonymous
I agree with the constructive criticism notion. So let me impart some of my critique, shall I?

First off, your sudden use of vulgar language in the middle of the story rather detracts from the feeling. I'm assuming this was all based around the whole Area 51 incident in Roswell? Try thinking as they would. If anything, you might want to pick up a .wav format version of the original radio transmission of War of the Worlds to get a better idea as to how they would have talked.

Secondly, I highly doubt that an alien would use the "attaboy" term. There are other ways to make highly advanced alien species capable of creating black holes sound "smart".

Thirdly, remove the black-hole scenario. Please, I beg you.
>> Anonymous
I like it somewhat, but the transcript format sorta lets it down.

This isn't the guy that was asking about SHC and Holders yesterday, is it?
>> Anonymous
Sorry to tell you, but this is some pretty old pasta..
>> Anonymous
Ahh fuck, I meant SCP. Fuck I'm tired.
>> Anonymous

Badly written, your format was distracting and detracted from the story. The idea was rather unoriginal, the autopsy gone terribly wrong idea has been done to death. You didn't change the formula at all. The dialog between the characters (when they weren't describing the body) was far from believeable.

TLDR; you suck, try harder.