File :-(, x, )
SCP Vanilla
FILENAME: [REMOVED]
DATE: 28-01-1983
Origin: Research Facility K19F

Description: [REMOVED], henceforth referred to as JF2 to not cause confusion with previously excavated [REMOVED], moved to research facility J25 after discovery. Object is of metallic origin with metamorphosing properties. An estimation of weight is generally 10 kg2/m however with current temperament this can not be confirmed. JF2 is to be contained in a 20x40 UV lit room at all times under an atmosphere of 5A, under no circumstances should the room lose lighting or pressure.

Experiment 1A:
Subject: Volunteer scientist Dr [REMOVED] 32S branch. #11452.
14:00: 11452 enters cell via volumetric pressure chamber to commence communication sequence & bio metric readings with object JF2.
14:02: Communication sequence initiated.
14:05: Object JF2's surface changes from a metallic sheen to a deep lavender as testing continued.
14:10: 11452 asked to be removed from experiment as JF2s surface pulsated on the wavelength of 23E. Request was denied.
14:12: 11452 life signs peak into a major coronary episode resulting in death.
14:15: Oject JF2 ceases movement and returns to it's original metallic surface.
15:00: Equipment and body of 11452 recovered.
Comment too long. Clickhereto view the full text.
>> Anonymous
What is this? One of those lucky blue dots from The Enquirer?
Fuck you.
>> Not OP
FILENAME: [REMOVED]
DATE: 16-02-1983
Origin: Research Facility K19F

Experiment 1B:
Subject: Prisoner [REMOVED] Nº 235982
15:00: 235982 enters cell via volumetric pressure chamber to commence stress test in proven pathological subjects.
15:02: Despite the entrance of Nº 235982 to the chamber, no measurebale readings can be obtainde from Object JF2.
15:10: Nº 235982 enters a state of exasperation, and starts yelling in anger.
15:11: Object JF2's surface begins a slow process of petrification.
15:15: By this time, Object JF2's physical properties are that of a marble sphere.
15:17: Suddenly silent, Nº 235982 approaches Object JF2.
15:19: Nº 235982 continues its observation of Object JF2, apparently attracted to it.
15:20: Nº 235982 cardiogram shows a sudden heart beat acceleration.
15:21: Nº 235982 EEG displays an alteration on the Beta spectrum, confirming Object JF2's ability to transmit a signal via telepathic means.
15:23: Object JF2's surface fills with cracks, revealing its original metallic surface underneath.
15:24: Nº 235982 enters an epileptic episode.
15:25: Nº 235982 life signs end abruptly.
15:27: Object JF2's recovers its original metallic surface.
16:12: Body of Nº 235982 is recovered.
16:42: Autopsy on Nº 235982 shows lateral tegmental field overdevelopment, causing al other brain functions to cease functioning. This may explain the convulsions and the fulminating death that ensued. Blood and tissue samples have been sent to [REMOVED] for further testing.
18:42: Bio metric readings on Object JF2 confirm an increase on Alpha wave patterns.
20:21: Blood tests show major increase on ADN strands that control neuronal behavior. Encephalic tissue submitted at the request of [REMOVED].
21:00: Request for additional test subjects submitted.
End experiment 1B.
>> Vanilla
>>696313

Good stuff! I was going to make the second one a cat but then got blocked. I thought up the OP whilst watching Doomsday since it is such a terrible zombie movie, and I don't think there are anymore as bad to get my imagination going again.
>> LDB !!BKKzzh+r2JE
>>696291
I swear, these would be so much better if people used proper grammar and spelling to make it appear as though actual researchers wrote them.

Learn proper use of apostrophes:
>14:15: Oject JF2 ceases movement and returns to its original metallic surface.
>14:10: 11452 asked to be removed from experiment as JF2's surface pulsated on the wavelength of 23E. Request was denied.

A proper writeup of such a procedure would not switch between the use of an ampersand and the word "and".
>14:00: 11452 enters cell via volumetric pressure chamber to commence communication sequence and biometric readings with object JF2.

A single spelling mistake can turn a masterpiece into a literary train wreck:
>14:15 Object

Semi-colons are your friend.
>15:30 ... chest cavity; all other tissue is unaffected.
>> Anonymous
>>696369
>>14:15: Oject JF2
>Oject

You forgot this one, buddy~
>> LDB !!BKKzzh+r2JE
>>696376
I got that error.
>> Vanilla
>>696369

Or you can use your IMAGINATION and just assume it was translated poorly, who was phone etc.

Anyway I blame Doomsday, it's just that bad.
>> Anonymous
I WANNA HEAR ABOUT THE CAT!
>> Anonymous
Learn proper use of apostrophes:
>14:15: Oject JF2 ceases movement and returns to its original metallic surface.

The thing wrong in that sentence is that "object" doesn't have a "t". You don't need an apostrophe after the "t" in "its".
>> Anonymous
oops i meant b not t hehhe sry