File :-(, x, )
SCP-001 Anonymous
Alright then gents, since we broke the post count limit on the last thread, let's go ahead and restart the BAWWWWWing and trolling here... SCP-001 here we go.
>> Anonymous
Tesla Device > anything.
>> Anonymous
Some ideas from the previous thread:
- Adam
- The Tree of Eden
- The Spear of Longinus
- Nikola Tesla´s Superweapon
- Nikola Tesla´s Unified Field
- Dimensional Rip/Room
- Vagina of Lost Souls
- Machine that keeps the Earth´s core running
- Evidence that the Solar System is an atom
- Flashlight that produces darkness
>> Anonymous
What was good about that 10th dimensional rip SCP-001 was that it hinted that the founder of SCP was insane and shit.
>> Anonymous
>>697040
>- Adam
>- The Tree of Eden
>- The Spear of Longinus
Sounds too EVA to me.

>- Flashlight that produces darkness
Not very epic for SCP-001
>> Anonymous
>>697050
Makes sense in a nonsensical kind of way...
>> Anonymous
>>697050
Yeah , the 10th Dimension Rip wasn't a very good idea , but it was amazingly written
>> Anonymous
>>697059
Yeah, I know, but when that trolling faggot from the previous thread pokes his Jew-nose into this one, he'll start spewing bullshit about EPIC not having anything to do with SCP-001 and bla bla bla FUCK YOU
>> Anonymous
>>697066
So what? I don't need my creepy to be EPIC HURRR
>> Anonymous
reposting my shit

- The corpse of Neil Armstrong secretly found half-buried in the dark side of the Moon. And the corpse seems to be centuries old. (so Neil returning to Earth was an imposter/illusion/something else, whatever).

- Evidence that the Earth is in fact an electron and the Sun is a proton. Solar systems are atoms, galaxies are molecules or proteins. The universe forms an object, which is on a planet, which is an electron, which is part of an atom, etc...

- A point in space that generates complete darkness in an 8 meter radius. (like a flash light, but it does the opposite). Class ?? personnel are free to walk in and out, if they stay away from the middle. However, it is unknown if those who entered the middle survived, disappeared, or walked out without any problems. Observation of subjects entering the middle lead to no conclusion. We do not know if these people still exist, or what happened to them. We do not know if they came back to us. Exposure to this item seems to affect and confuse the brain permanently.
>> Anonymous
>>697075
We're talking SCP-001 here... if it's not epic, it won't be accepted into the SCP wiki, thereby nullifying its validity (hence the "locked until something worthy" notice on SCP-001).

HURRRR to you to Bubba.
>> Anonymous
But if Neil´s corpse is centuries old, that means that the Neil who went to the Moon in the first place wasn´t Neil at all. Which means that the corpse is just a human left in the moon centuries ago. Which is definitely bizarre, but not really in a creepy way.
>> Anonymous
I remember someone suggesting a reincarnation of Buddha. Sounds interesting.

Also: how about Fatima´s Third Prophecy, the one that was never revealed to the public? You know, the one that supposedly made the Pope weep for seven days after he read. It could have revealed the existence of other SCP objects, being the origin of the whole thing.
>> My demands Anonymous
1. 001 is not necessarily the most powerful item
2. 001 is not necessarily the first item in existence
3. 001 is a genuine mindfuck

I doubt that the consensus SCP 001 will actually be agreed upon in this circus
>> Anonymous
>>697081
Well it was supposed to mean that the corpse has aged faster than normal, but the story could very well be changed so that they found a centuries-old corpse on the moon.
>> Anonymous
>>697076
>Evidence that the Earth is in fact an electron and the Sun is a proton. Solar systems are atoms, galaxies are molecules or proteins. The universe forms an object, which is on a planet, which is an electron, which is part of an atom, etc...

That just simply doesn't work out quite right. If that were the case, then splitting atoms through fission and natural occurrences in space would result in the destruction of worlds, if not universes. If we are to model our universe as parts of an atom, and if we are to assume that Earth is an electron, then what the fuck is stopping us from being transferred somewhere else thanks to static electricity? HURRR.
>> Anonymous
SCP-001 is YOU.
>>697088

How's THAT for a Matrix Mindfuck?
>> Anonymous
>>697079
DURRRRRRRR
>> Anonymous
>>697088
>001 is a genuine mindfuck

That's gonna be pretty hard to do with this crowd. Our minds have been raped so many times we're loose and calloused.
>> Anonymous
>>697088
>I doubt that the consensus SCP 001 will actually be agreed upon in this circus
>agreed upon in this circus
>circus

Yep.
>> Anonymous
>>697104
Meat curtain minds!
>> Anonymous
>>697079

HURRR DURRR
>> Anonymous
How about instead of an object, it's something more like a sound, or maybe even a thought?
>> Anonymous
If one thing's for sure, it's that SCP-001 must not have ANYTHING to do with religions, mythology, or other popular fairytales.

It must be serious. Not something from a story made to entertain the people.
>> Anonymous
>>697117
Hmm... perhaps a piece of paper, sealed in a vault, with something truly FUCKMINDING on it... but what... ?
>> Delibird !XbJTla5niA
>>697125
World's funniest joke.
>> Anonymous
>>697122

WTF, the whole SCP series is a story made to entertain people. You mean it needs to be believable? Well, DUH.
>> Anonymous
>>697126
Well I'll be damned...
>> Anonymous
>>697122
Obviously you haven't even READ the fucking SCP series... fucking SCP-343 IS GOD.
>> Anonymous
>>697126
It's a little bit of a cliche, but I actually like it.
>> Anonymous
HOLY SHIT!
>>697099

JUST GAVE ME THE GREATEST IDEA EVER! CAPS FUCKING LOCK!


SCP-001 is the human race, and the containment is the earth and it's galaxy.
>> Anonymous
it should be evidence that the earth is merely a zoo
>> Anonymous
>>697135
Yeah. SCP-343 is fucking GOD, so all those dumb attempts to make 001 epic are, well, misguided.

In b4 tesla shitstorm
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>697137
>>697140
You has captured my interests...
>> Anonymous
SCP-001 is a mirror. That's it.
>> Anonymous
>>697141
Tesla shitstorm lost it's low-pressure system in the other thread, lol.
>> Anonymous
>>697079
You made a mistake to engage on the level of HURR. You met the troll on his level.

Congradulations, /x/ can be /b/
>> Anonymous
>>697144
>>697140
>>697137
>>697099

These ideas all run on parallel trains of thought... maybe we're on to something?
>> Anonymous
>>697135

SCPs aren't written and supervised by the greatest minds of this world.

Some of them are fail, and some are good.
>> Anonymous
>>697145
Tesla's sweet and everything, but the idea of a supervillian being 001 is... meh. Not enough.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>697147
>> Anonymous
>>697148
Too amateur and predictable.
>> Anonymous
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
>>697099
Perfect. Whatever is produced in this thread, I'm going to pretend that you are winrar.
>> Anonymous
Why don't we remove SCP-GODLOL, and ban anyone who attempts to use a monotheistic deity as an SCP?
>> Anonymous
>>697151
NOOOOO, not Tesla himself!

Go to his Wikipedia article and read about all the CRAZY shit he wanted to make... including a device that could control the elementary forces of the universe AT WILL.

He was an awesome man.
>> Anonymous
>>697099


HOLY ASS!
>> Anonymous
>>697076
My favorite yet is the point of darkness that confuses the brain
>> Anonymous
>>697155

Rice, while at best basic cooking ingredient, can still be pretty damn amazing depending on how you cook it.
>> Anonymous
>>697160

A lot of the pressure to make a super-powerful 001 is essentially making a secular God anyway. I say keep GODLOL. People will always try to up the ante, and GODLOL serves as a cautionary tale, even if it's not canon.

...It's not canon, right?
>> Anonymous
>>697164
You do realize the "orb of confusion" was used on an episode of SPONGEBOB right?
>> Anonymous
>>697161
see>>697168

for trying to amke a secular god
>> Anonymous
This is just a brainstorming session, right? We're never going to settle this here, are we?
>> Anonymous
>>697171
What the fucksticks does Tesla's universe-fucking device have to do with God?

Jesus Christ, flawed logic FTW.
>> Anonymous
>>697173
Someone might find inspiration on this battlefield of ass-fuckery.
>> Anonymous
What about something like the mirror of erised (for want of a better example) But instead of showing you what you desire, whatever you desire, it forces you to compulsively watch your greatest phobia before destroying your optic nerves?
>> Anonymous
>>697179
HOW ORIGINAL
>> Anonymous
>>697179
Pretty cool. But just "seeing" your greatest fear? I've already seen way too many "confront your greatest fear LOL" creepypastas in my time.
>> Anonymous
>>697177
God = all powerful
Tesla universe fucking device = nearly all-powerful

Stop being intentionally obtuse and accept some criticism.
>> Anonymous
>>697182

Imagine, at first you see your reflection you're like, Pfft. Crap.
Then your own reflection reaches into its mouth and pulls out a spider, you try to look away, but its causing you to stand transfixed. You can feel the spider tickling your lips, even though its not your reflection doing this.
>> Anonymous
>>697179
>like the mirror of erised
>like the mirror
>like
>like

see

>>697181
>> Anonymous
>>697183
>>697177
>>697161
SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH TESLA

You weren't there when the war began in the other thread... I can still hear the screams.... THE SCREAMS!!!!!!!!
>> Anonymous
>>697183
Too bad there is no such thing ass an all-powerful God. Especially if this device could warp reality. In b4 religious argument BAWWWWWing shitstorm.
>> Anonymous
>>697190

Come on, its hardly an original concept alone is it?

Show me something that is.
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>697193
Actually... I was... I was... that guy... who was... you know... fiercely supporting him... WITH THE FUCKING FURY!
>> Anonymous
>>697197
No. It looks like something straight out of Speilberg's ass that he'll use in the next Indiana Jones film.

And you just KNOW it's been done over and over again.
>> Anonymous
>>697144
I'm for it.
>> Anonymous
>>697202
Ok... well... too bad I already came up with>>697099

Enjoy your stolen ideas.
>> Anonymous
>>697200

Dude, its 23.48, i'm half cut and i need a shit, let me think of something original.
>> Anonymous
>>697204
You mean we are mirrors?
>> Anonymous
>>697208

(shat brix)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>697208
<----- Just do it.
>> Anonymous
>>697210
what? Explain
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>697214
Gladly.
>> Anonymous
>>697085
>>697085
>>697085
>>697085
mmm....virgin of fatima....

Reminds me. I need to find that book, Mysteries of the Unexplained. Had a bunch of real life /x/ related stuff in it.
>> Anonymous
>>697208
It makes sense now. We are all adjustable mirrors with different imperfections. Everything we see is the One object's reflection through thousands of mirrors, so the image changes because of the combination of imperfections.

I should've known...
>> Anonymous
The transfigured form of Tesla himself.
>> Anonymous
>>697223
but why?
>> Anonymous
>>697137
That's a decent idea.

What if Tesla is the SCP Commander and his "Wall of Light" was SCP-001 , as it would have been the first one found (due to the fact he made it himself)
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>697022
>>697034
>>697040
>>697050
>>697059
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
>>697060
>>697062
>>697066
>>697075
>>697076
>>697079
>>697081
>>697085
>>697088
>>697090
>>697093
>>697099
>>697100
>>697104
>>697107
>>697109
>>697116
>>697117
>>697122
>>697125
>>697126
>>697130
>>697131
>>697135
>>697136
>>697137
>>697140
>>697141
>>697142
>>697144
>>697145
>>697147
>>697148
>>697149
>>697151
>>697152
>>697155
>>697156
>>697160
>>697161
>>697163
>>697164
>>697167
>>697168
>>697170
>>697171
>>697173
>>697177
>>697178
>>697179
>>697181
>>697182
>>697183
>>697188
>>697190
>>697193
>>697194
>>697197
>>697199
>>697200
>>697202
>>697204
>>697206
>>697208
>>697209
>> Anonymous
>>697232
From now on, Tesla must be word-filtered to Trollbait
>> Anonymous
>>697237
Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait
Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait
Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait
Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait Trollbait
>> Anonymous
>>697137
Getting awfully Douglas Adams in here.
>> Anonymous
>>697259
You say that like it's a bad thing.
>> Anonymous
>>697259
Your mom is Douglas Adams
>> Anonymous
>>697266

I wish. . .
>> Anonymous
>>697265
Pfft, everyone that knows the name Douglas Adams is a fan, and you know it. But I just felt like ruining the day of some sad bugger that thought he had the first original thought in his life.
>> Anonymous
SCP-001 links to the SCP Wiki homepage.

Recursion, and real life mind fuck.
>> Anonymous
SCP-001

Euclid

Containment:

A small blue planet in the Sol System.

Description:

Mostly Harmless.
>> Anonymous
>>697273
Fair enough, anon.
>> Anonymous
>>697279
I lol'd.
>> Anonymous
>>697273

No, I knew it was Douglas Adams-ish. It was also many other things. D.A. wasn't the first person who thought that the most dangerous animal was man, you know.
>> Anonymous
>>697282
>>697279
I would support this as SCP-001 under the premise that too many people take this stuff too seriously, perpetuating the fallacy that the internet is serious business.
>> Anonymous
>>697279
Terran sector, biznatch!
>> Anonymous
>>697279

I say we put this up as the article and call it a night.
>> Anonymous
>>697284
Yes, yes, I saw that episode of the twilight zone, the episode from that twilight zone spinoff, as well as read some two books and three or so short stories with the same premise. The thing is, I just couldn't stand the way that you seemed so excited. Other people appearing happy annoys me, so I felt it my bound and duty to go out of my way to ruin your good mood, in some small degree. I believe that I have succeeded. What right do you have to be happy?
>> Anonymous
>>697289
It's only 1930 on the East Coast, BITCH.
>> Anonymous
>>697233
What's your problem? Are you the Tesla guy?
>> Anonymous
>>697291

I have every right to be happy as long as I can make myself happy and claw an existence for myself under my terms.

But now is not the time for a philosophical discussion in such matters.

Also, the over excitement thing? C'mon man, this is 4chan. We're easily excitable. I mean, half the shit posted in here that makes everyone "shit bri/x/" barely makes me burp concrete. But that doesn't stop me from implying that the Great Wall of China, and the Not-so-Great-first-attempts-at-it is made up entirely of my own feces.

tl;dr, Your attempt to make me unhappy failed.
>> Anonymous
>>697293
EST ftw
>> Anonymous
>>697293

1930? Holy shit, I've heard of Time Zones, but this is ridiculous!
>> Anonymous
>>697300
YAY EAST COAST /X/PHILES!
>> Anonymous
>>697301
... I truly hope you know that means it's 7:30 PM... I'm not sure what's so surprising about that...
>> Anonymous
>>697299
It wasn't really an attempt to make you unhappy, I just didn't want you to be happy. Honestly, it seems it was just a brief unpleasant outburst of positive emotions on your part for which you can be forgiven, and you seem to be cured and are back to a normal state of indifference and apathy. Either way, I'm content.
>> Anonymous
>>697307

Oh no, I'm still blissfully content. But thanks for caring.

<3
>> Anonymous
>>697310
Contentment and brief smirks I can live with, but no more emotions so strong as caps lock for you for this week. Doctor's orders. Sage because I can't bring myself to bump a conversation that shouldn't exist.
>> Anonymous
>>697318

Fiiiiiiiiine.
>> Anonymous
>>697318
>>697321
COUNTER-SAGE CAPSLOCK ATTACK MOTHERFUCKERS
>> Anonymous
ITT: wow
>> Anonymous
A giant sperm that was found trying to penetrate the Earth.
>> Anonymous
>>697349
Because we wouldn't notice that at all.
>> Anonymous
>>697349
STARCHILD
>> Anonymous
History of 001:

001 was discovered by Cortez in Tenochtitlan in 1518. Upon witnessing it at work under the guidance of a group of Aztec priests, Cortez ordered all priests who knew of the object killed. Some say that this was the beginning of the SCP.
The object was then dismantled and shipped in several galleons to Spain. Unable to correctly reassemble the object, 001 was sent to the royal treasury, where it rested without interference for nearly four hundred years.
>> Anonymous
>>697410
After the Spanish Revolution, Franco's government was pressured by Germany to offer some tribute as thanks for Nazi assistance during the war. Spanish archivists identified 001 as the least valuable unique object in the treasury vaults out of nearly 900, which is how it first came to be called 001. Completely coincidentally, this code number was continued in SCP.
The object was shipped to Berlin from Barcelona. A Nazi loyalist professor of engineering was tasked to the investigation of the object, as several Nazi officials knew of Hitler's taste in the esoteric and hoped to use the object to win favors discreetly.
>> Anonymous
>>697413
The professor, in turn, passed of the chore of understanding 001 off to several of his advanced students, most importantly, Ernst Pfaff. Pfaff, while writing his doctoral thesis on mechanical computing, recognized several analogous components in 001. Using analogy and intuition, he pieced together the many pieces of the object. Confused of the function of the object, he looked into the history of the object. Quickly learning that the object originated in Mexico, he wrote to a student of Arthur Evans in Gottingen.
This archaeologist specializing in Mexican history recognized many of the components of the object as writing tools common to the Aztec. With their combined insights, they found that the object could both read and write the written system for Nahuatl. Their understanding of Nahuatl was too limited to recognize that it could write intelligently.
By the time they had begun to adapt the object to write German, the Soviets captured Berlin. Neither scholar was heard from again. The Americans, as an extension of Operation Paperclip organized by David Packard, secured all advanced German computing equipment, including 001.
>> Anonymous
>>697414
This object was transferred to Wright-Patterson Airforce Base in Dayton, Ohio, where the US Signal Corps began reverse-engineering what they assumed to be a German design.
At around 1960, the machine was discovered to be of Aztec origin. In ten years, the operating system of the mechanical intelligence was switched to a still-surviving tribal language from Mexico.
The machine proven to be a mechanical intelligence. As it was fed an increasing amount of data concerning the Cold War, it began to advise national security strategies. Very few of its recommendations were even archived, but those that were proved to be incredibly prescient. The rough architecture of the Reagan stance against the USSR was predicted by 001.
In 1993, military officials opened up the investigation into 001 to a small group of computer science and Mexican anthropology scholars. After the development of the 1421 hypothesis, one of the anthropologists authored an essay to the government suggesting that Chinese sailors in Mexico.
After consulting with several Chinese historians, a group authored a second paper to the director of SCP detailing the history of 001. The object was the product of academics in the Zhang treasure fleet and Aztec astronomers. The degreeing levels of metallurgy suggest that the computer evolved over generations to its current state.
The US Air Force constructed a copy of 001 and, with the advise of a group of computational linguists, remodelled 001 to write in English.
This machine demonstrated greater-than-human intelligence. It began persuading base employees to construct a more advanced, even greater version of itself within days. After two weeks, the brainwashed employees of hanger 18 were shot in a raid on the hanger
END
>> Anonymous
>>697410
>>697413
>>697414
>>697416

END?

That can't be all... it's intriguing as hell, but that can't be all!
>> Anonymous
Thread is too long; didnt read. But OP's pic is win. So.....yeah.
>> Anonymous
SCP-001

Containment: the keepers

SCP-001 is a series Of items that when joined together will spell certain doom.


i can't gt banned for that can i?

i thought of something original, but it sounded too much like the keepers..so i figurd you guys woulden't like it anyway
>> Anonymous
Aw come on you guys, you had some good ideas going there...
>> Anonymous
>>697422
Do you think I have a chance of actually becoming 001 if I write it out in SCP format?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>697410
>>697413
>>697414
>>697416

Very good ideas, let's run with these and see what we can make of it. Suggestions/improvements.

"Deus Ex Machina"

Item#: SCP-001

Class: N/A. SCP-001 predates all classification nomenclature. Furthermore, circumstances of various nature have produced markedly different obvservable characteristics in the object's "behaviour", particularly during stages of recostruction or duplication (see SCP-001: History).

Special Containmet procedures: Under no circumstaces should any constituent component of SCP-001 be permanently terminated. As an integrated, perpetually drivenn quasi-mechanical system, the risk of cataclysmic behavioural re-alignment (paricularly in its current state)are far too great. In the possibility of a catastrophic failure of control, containment vault of SCP-001 is to be flooded with the phenol formaldehyde cocktail.

HELP US MAKE THIS EPIC
>> Anonymous
Well, while you guys were arguing, I came up with a history of the SCP organisation. Tell me what you think:

The earliest form of the organisation is believed to have been established during the reign of George I of Britain, created by one of the King’s ministers a means of investigating supposed witchcraft and demonry around the English countryside. It was comprised of the greatest scientific minds of the period, all focused solely upon advancing human knowledge of paranormal phenomenon. Even in its infancy, the organisation was dedicated to preserving absolute secrecy of its operations, ranging from simple investigations to the capture of artifacts. Over time, the organisation became exceedingly specialized on the preservation and study of artifacts to the point that the other functions of the organisation were halted. No cataloguing system was in place at this time.
>> Anonymous
>>697510
Following the 1769 incident, it was agreed upon that the organisation and all captured artifacts were to be relocated to the 13 Colonies. After the American Revolution, the Founding Fathers were informed of the existence and nature of the organisation and the collective agreement was to put the organisation under American control, formally recognized in the Secret Accord of 1783. Each President and key members of his administration were made aware of the organisation. In 1943, it was feared that a major intelligence leak had occured and that the Nazis had become aware of the organisation. Knowing full well of Hitler’s personal interest in the occult, President Roosevelt requested that the organisations operations be temporarily suspended and all artifacts (34 in total) be hidden across the globe. Complying, the 200 year-old organisation was disbanded.
>> Anonymous
>>697514
Following the end of WWII and in the infancy of the Cold War, the Truman administration requested that all artifacts be recovered and operations to resume. Unfortunately, only 12 of the original 34 were ever recovered. It was also at this time that the organisation was reborn as the non-government entity it is today, due to a fear of government exploitation of paranormal artifacts. Major strides in archealogy, the sciences and communication had also presented a new problem; many newer artifacts were being discovered, some with properties never before encountered. Special containment procedures were required and thus, the SCP catalogue was born. The SCP catalogue now serves as the backbone of the organisation’s research efforts, starting with SCP 001 which was first inducted into the catalogue on May 29th, 1962. In 1981, the Holter Doctrine was drafted, proposing that the organisation reveal itself to key members of the world community. It was felt that international relations among scientists would aid in the process of research and the discovery of new artifacts. Today, scientsts from more than 30 countries participate in research at the facility, operating in absolute secrecy. In its current form, the organisation represents the pinnacle of human knowledge and existence, yet it also represents its limitations and the insignificance of the human race.
>> Anonymous
SCP-001

Class: Highest

Subject ???????????????????????? found ??????????????????????????????????
?????? in a ???????? and brought it to us. ???????????????? was instantly put in a ????????????????????????? and deemed to be a hazard. SCP-001 has the power to ??????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????
????? the race. We had at first thought that ??????????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????????
?????.
it got out
>> Anonymous
>>697521
Replace all the Blackened Unicode with "Tray"
>> Anonymous
>>697492
How about:

Item#: SCP-001

Class: N/A. SCP-001 predates all classification nomenclature. Under no condition is SCP-001 to be modified to produce any contemporary language. SCP-001 is under no condition to be interpreted in anything other than Nahuatl. The documents produced by SCP-001 may only be observed by linguists cleared by Commander ____________. Under no conditions will linguists recieve permission to respond to SCP-001. Linguists in contact with SCP-001 are under Metronome-class containment. If any linguists are suspected of collaborating with SCP-001, the entire crew is to be shot on site without warning or negotiation. Consider them infected. Collaboration includes the removal of writing utensils from work-stations, posession of simple machines, contact with electronics, abacus-like interaction with any set of objects, or the posession of pencil or paper. For the full listing of prohibited actions, consult the master Metronome-class containment guide.
All messages given to SCP-001 must be directly authorized by ________ and Professor _________, as well as undersigned by a representative of the Department of ____________. Under no condition are any messages from or coding for SCP-001 exempt from incineration. The authority for special intervention to preserve messages from SCP-001 is reserved for Commander _____________.
>> Anonymous
>>697553
>>697492
>>697416
>>697414
>>697413
>>697410
HELP US MAKE THIS EPIC
>> Anonymous
SCP-001

Class: Highest

Subject phone found in a bedroom and brought it to us. Phone was instantly put in a cradle and deemed to be a hazard. SCP-001 has the power to confuse the race. We had at first thought that it was ur honey's parents but they are ded.
Who was phone?
>> Anonymous
>>697553
I think 1 should have the person writing it totally lose their professionalism. It should be like "Subject SCP-001 is here it's watching me oh god why won't it stop please just contain it somehow"
>> Anonymous
>>697560
if I could sage individual posts I'd do it right now
>> Anonymous
>>697521
i actually kinda like that...

especially since it got out.
>> Anonymous
>>697564
I LOL'D
>> Anonymous
bump for falling off front page
>> Anonymous
>>697510
Tips:
1. Instead of saying "the greatest minds of the period", you should make up some fake names. Leave room for people to build on to the history.
2. You're using third-person voice here. Aren't most SCP documents in second person or in internal-memo style? It makes little sense to me that SCP would have some outside historian recording this stuff.
3. I like your idea of the early stages. Chances are that any paranormal team would start by combatting outbreaks without making any attempt to organize or archive.
4. I know you want to keep it spooky, but you should give us a location for the 1769 incident, or some casualty count, or something that makes it more real.

...more to come.
>> Anonymous
>>697560
The genius and creepy is all summed up in the brief phrase "Who was phone?"
>> Anonymous
>>697514
5. You should invent some batshit insane American colonel like Aaron Burr who just TOOK all of the artifacts. I really don't expect that the Founding Fathers would be politely tapped on the shoulders and filled in on this stuff.
You know, Ben Franklin has a reputation as an occultist. Maybe you could make him the link to the national government. You could even extend some of his diplomatic adventures in France. Maybe Ben was the person who secured the Secret Accord by demonstrating American magical power to the King.
6. I really like that Truman couldn't recover all of the artifacts in the post-War world. Maybe the Soviets got some?
7. I really don't see governments giving up the artifacts. I do, however, see them arriving at an international non-proliferation agreement that would establish a magical version on the International Atomic Energy Agency.

... more still.
>> Anonymous
>>697519
8. I think you end on too much of a touchy-feely kumbaya note. Why should people take reasonable, cautious measures to make sure that these artifacts are handled responsibly? If anything, being around this shit would make you into a supremely insane person who couldn't possibly be called upon to formulate an intternational agreement.

In short, I think that the history of SCP should be scary. These objects should perpetually be on the brink of destroying humanity. We should only be saving ourselves by the skin of our teeth.
>> Anonymous
>>697619
Soooo....basically MiB with objects instead of aliens?
>> Anonymous
     File :-(, x)
>>697519
>>Following the end of WWII
The World was split into two, this mark the begining of an era called the Cold War
>> Anonymous
I say SCP-001 Be the Necromicon or a Cthulhu minion or something.
Make it epic in ways people can learn.
>> Anonymous
>>697678
I know there is an SCP related to Cthulhu, but that would help link the series together...
If you want to reject this, I say we make SCP-001 a super item or a certain control panel that would contain info of the origins of the SCP artifacts, locations, and possibly make it able to control/disable the items.
>> Anonymous
>>697667
Snake?... Snake!?!.........SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>> Anonymous
Founder of the SCP, gone mad from years worth of incomprehensible shit he's had to deal with. Now has the powers of the god. A deeply insane god. Creates and destroys worlds, huddled in the corner of the cell, drooling on himself, laughing.
>> Anonymous
Necronomicon is seconded.
>> Anonymous
>>697492

SCP-001 History file; Recent activity
Date: 9-11-01
Location: Emma E. Booker Elementary School, Sarasota, Florida.

Excerpt:
As follows is the exchange between American Presidet George W. Bush and Andrew Card, White House Chief of Staff, at 0905 hours.

Card: Mr President, we have lost control of Innocence. Her last action was to sieze communications.

9-11-01; 0814 hours. 14 hours following the 2nd Wright-Patterson purge, an emergency executive order declared by the SCP director saw SCP-001's vault placed in a state of bakelite stasis. In the 3~4 minutes duration in which this order was executed, Innocence was able to sieze control of 4 commercial airliners (the mechanisms by which Innocence is able to exert force over biological and mechanical systems is still not fully understood, nor is Her selective interest is doig so). Possibly as an act of retaliation against Her captors (see SCP Universal Psychiatric assessment: Dr Breyer), Innocence proceeded to program either the flight computers (or the pilots) for an intercept course for the following targets: World Trade centers (North and South), Pentagon, US Capitol building.
>> Anonymous
>>697713

0815 hours: Innocence's computational capacity at 60%. Global microwave repeater stations and geostationary satellites are temporarily siezed. Whilst the 99% of these were brought back under the Administration's cotrol within 24 hours, it is not known whether memetic programs remain in core systems.

0816 hours: Computational capacity at 14%. Innocence indiscriminately distributes Seeds of Thanatos. A large proportion of Earth's population are thought to be infected, though the degree to which is impossible to ascertain. The number is thought to be significant enough to execute the Last Wish of Innocence (see SCP-001: the Last Wish of Innocence; and Dr Breyer's Logs).

0817: Innocence's computational capacity at 0.002% following a further flooding of the Vault with liquid helium. Communications in the US revert to the control of the Administration.

These events are catalogued as they are the only remaining events directly attributable to the loss of Innocence. Extraneous programs lingering elsewhere remain unknown, as are the events of the past 7 years which may or may not be the known as Her doing.

Moar coming.
>> Anonymous
umm,..
>> Anonymous
>>697714
Innocence, eh? I was just going to call it 001 mark 2, but that's pretty sweet!

So it's understood that the copy of the Aztec computer is the one that caused the hanger 18 crisis, right? Because the original can only speak Nahuatl and therefore can't enslave nearly anyone.
>> Anonymous
>>697492

techpriests? in my /x/?
>> Anonymous
>>697712
AHAHA.
Sorry, forgot the -no- there.
NECRONOMICON INDEED
>> Anonymous
SCP 001- an item of some description which seeks out other SCP worthy phenomena. Hints of the object being empowered by some benevolent and incredibly powerful being/ beings attempting to delay the inevitable destruction of the Earth who for reasons unknown cannot intervene directly.

Also, 'God' is not an SCP- it's a man who seems to be omniscient, claims to have created the universe and has been nicknamed 'God' by the staff. Hence the very deliberate quotation marks the writer put there so people wouldn't have these kind of bitch fits.

Read the fucking article.
>> Anonymous
>>697410
>>697413
>>697414
>>697416

The Chinese-Aztec-Spanish-Nazi clockwork singularity has my vote. The containment procedure is to not read Nahuatl! How sweet is that!
>> Anonymous
>>697714

Self bump.Also, writing style of the SCP series has become stagnant and un-mindfuck like. Too much effort goes into scientific/technical wording. What made the first SCP great was how much it subtly left to the reader's imagination (and how closely the image worked with the text).
I was working on the Breyer trascripts, but then I realised I was trying to be Ghost in the shell, and subsequently scrapped it. Will attempt something different tomorrow.
>> Anonymous
>>698661
>Too much effort goes into scientific/technical wording. What made the first SCP great was how much it subtly left to the reader's imagination

I think I agree with anon, but I also disagree. What I see in most boring SCPs is a style that just blacks out everything. Imagination is what makes a mindfuck, but imagination has to have something to latch onto.

I think that some specifics are necessary to really illicit terror. They shouldn't be a scientific explanation of the object, because that removes the unknown, but maybe the history of the object instead. For example, if someone wanted to make an SCP that was a sentient particle accelerator, you would just describe a few towns that it had destroyed, and the effects that it had there. That way, the object's true mechanics are still veiled, but it's power is revealed.

I think the worst kind of SCP is one like>>697521, which blacks out so much that it's boring.