File :-(, x, )
ITT we analyze creepypasta.

So far I've seen creepypasta of four different types. Not everything neatly fits into these categories, but most of them do.

Type 1: Easter egg

Usually a set of instructions to carry out, about some rare opportunity that few people know about.
Stereotypical form: "If you go to [vague description of place] and do [actions that are nearly impossible to pull off], then [creepy or awesome event] will happen."
Examples: Holders series, Dargaia's Nectar, Observe & Absolve, The Gallery of Henri Beauchamp, 666th frames of Halloween specials

Type 2: Anecdote

Basically just a story about something that is supposed to have happened. The most common and most versatile type. Most classical campfire ghost stories are of this type.
Stereotypical form: "There once was [flat character that anyone could identify with] to whom [creepy event] happened." (For those anecdotes with a protagonist, "you" or "I" is also sometimes used.)
Examples: WHO WAS PHONE, realistic baby dolls, tape of woman in oven, German Medic in WW2, red-eyed ghost behind keyhole, Copy machine at office suddenly printing photos of your corpse, "We do not have an angel statue", "Humans can lick too", daughter with dream about "thing wearing Mommy's skin"
>> Anonymous
Type 3: Revelation

Creepypasta that tries to mess with your sense of security in everyday life, or otherwise tell you something creepy about the real world.
Stereotypical form: "Hey, do you know [common everyday phenomenon]? That's actually [creepy alternate explanation of phenomenon]." / "There exists [looming danger in everyday situation]."
Examples: A dozen stories about mirrors being gateways to an evil anti-world and the like, Nightmares coming from outside the brain, Negative energy spot on wall behind you, Wardrobe to another reality ("everyone misses you"), Similarities between horror icons, Static on TV

Type 4: Relic

Creepypasta that pretends not to be fiction, but a relic of the story itself, to make it seem more real for extra brickshitting effect. I think this type is kind of rare.
Examples: SCP series, Scientist's Log

A few stories belong to multiple of these categories. The "they hurt her" cancerpasta is an anecdote about a girl getting killed as well as the instruction to repost it, and the one about tricking your reflection into error is both a revelation and an easter egg, I think. And I think the relic type is usually also about an anecdote of sorts, and it also has some overlap with the easter egg type.

This is by no means supposed to be a perfect classification system. But it's a start.
>> Anonymous
Dionaea House would be type 4 as well, I think.
>> Anonymous
Wow. How long did it take you to come up with that? I never thought of it like that before.
>> Anonymous

In the winter of 1944, with overtaxed supply lines in the Ardennes, a medic in the German army had completely run out of plasma, bandages and antiseptic. During one particularly bad round of mortar fire, his encampment was a bloodbath. Those who survived claimed to have heard, above the screams and barked commands of their Lieutenant, someone cackling with almost girlish glee.

The medic had made his rounds during the fire, in almost complete darkness as he had so many times before, but never had he been this short on supplies. No matter. He would do his duty. He had always prided himself on his resourcefulness.

The bombardment moved to other ends of the line, and most men dropped off to sleep in the dark, still hours of the morning - New Year's Day, 1945. The men awoke at first light with screams. They discovered that their bandages were not typical bandages at all, but hunks and strips of human flesh. Several men had been given fresh blood transfusions, yet there had been no blood supplies available. Each treated man was almost completely covered, head-to-toe, with the maroon stain of blood.

The medic was found, sitting on an ammunition tin, staring off into space. When one man approached him, and tapped him on the shoulder, his tunic fell off to reveal that large patches of his skin, muscle, and sinew had been stripped from his torso and his body was almost completely dried of blood. In one hand was a scalpel, and in the other, a blood transfusion vial. None of the men treated for wounds that night, in that camp, saw the end of January, 1945.
>> Anonymous
what about the personalised... like this is happening to me now, this will happen to you blah blah blah, the generic kinda fwd's kinda ones... btw these are all shit...
>> Anonymous
probably falls under anecdote or revelation
>> Anonymous
I didn't really decide one day to sit down and come up with this. I just read creepypasta a lot, and started seeing patterns.

When a piece of creepypasta boils down to "this is happening to me now, this will happen to you", I'd classify that as a relic, the type of relic that contains an anecdote. Especially if it's a warning or call for help.
And if it includes advice on what to do when it happens to you, it has an important aspect of the easter egg type too.
Like I said, not everything neatly fits into these categories, and some of them fit in multiple.
>> Anonymous
Can someone post the Scientists log?
>> Anonymous
To add to OP's post...

Type 5: Close to Home

Reader is drawn into pasta, and made to believe that pasta itself is a gateway to a very real phenomenon. Examples include "Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv", and "READ", where readers are made to feel creepiness exists IRL and is close to home, as it were.
>> Anonymous
Here you go, friend.
Chief Scientist’s Log 12/7/2007 12:31 AM

A new find was brought into the lab today. Men working the demolition of a condemned warehouse at this facility discovered a rusty oil barrel that seemed to exude cold. Preliminary electromagnetic field readings yielded chaotic data before the equipment died. Barrel appears to be constructed of stainless steel and, again, radiates cold.

13/7/2007 9:00 PM

We opened the barrel today inside a sealed chamber. Chamber immediately frosted over. Unidentified entity found within the barrel. Appears to be gaseous and black. Indeed, the very light surrounding it appears to be “sucked in” by it’s presence. Appears to be sentient, but does not communicate in any understood way. Biological matter that comes into contact with the Entity seems to disintegrate.

14/7/2007 10:11 AM

An intern entered the sealed chamber alone today, without his hazard suit. He was not seen again. The Entity has double in size since being released from containment. Has become aggressive. We are sealing off the chamber immediately in light of it’s flesh-consuming properties and rapid growth. All research is halted.

14/7/2007 11:00 AM

It’s gone. God help us, it’s escaped.
>> Anonymous
Sorry, but I'll have to disagree. IMHO, this is not a helpful new category.
Pasta saying some creepy stuff really exists and is close to the home of whoever reads it are revelations, and every single easter egg is also (allegedly) a gateway to real phenomena.

"Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv" is an easter egg too. I think "READ" is a relic and a revelation, but I find that one rather hard to categorize.

Maybe we should have different systems of categories. There could be easter egg, anecdote and revelation, categorized by content; and there could be normal creepypasta, relic and personal message, categorized by "medium", so to speak.
"READ" would then have the medium of a personal message and the content of a revelation.