I almost shit myself laughing, fuck you

wat

lulz

A rabi, a priest and a pyramid head enter a bar.

There were no survivors

best pyramid head joke ever

Some survivors walked into a bar.

There were no Pyramid Heads.

pyramid head went into the men's bathroom of an olive garden after an enjoyable feast of garlic bread and pasta.

there were no survivors.

>>858947
THEN WHO WAS PASTA?

I don't get it.
Does he keep hunting in that place because he's gay for Pyramid Head?

>>858951

i think it was pretty obvious that he was gay for pyramid head

a prie-

There were no survivors.

Once there was a bunny running all over the forest, then while running he noticed that Dog was about to smoke pot, so he stops and says: "Dog! Don't do it, its wrong! Come, run with me!" so Dog said "You are right Bunny, lets run!"
Then while running he noticed that Frog was about to do crack, so he stops and says: "Frog! Don't do it, its wrong! Come, run with us!" so Frog said "You are right Bunny, lets run!"
Then while running he noticed that Lion was about to take X, so he stops and says: "Lion! Don't do it, its wrong! Come, run with us!" so Lion said "You are right Bunny, lets run!"
Then while running he noticed that Pyramid Head was about to do heroin, so he stops and says: "Pyramid Head! Don't do it, its wrong! Come, run wit- Then t Pyramid Head raped the Bunny to death.

The other animals, furious told Pyramid Head: "What's wrong with you? What you are doing is wrong! He just wanted to help you! and Pyramid Head said: "Damn bitches, don't you know that every time Bunny gets on Meth he starts doing this faggotry?

There were no survivors

>>858966

I lol'd hard

>>858953

Everyone's gay for Pyramid Head. Savage monster-on-man love.

pyramid head cries because you touch yourself.

There were no survivors.

>>858951
Everyone's gay for Pyramid head. Whether they want to be or not.

Pyramid Head was casted onto the 15th season of Survivor.

There were no survivors.

A boy is flushing the toilet nonstop in his home. He hears Pyramid Head coming, so the boy turns and asks him, "Pyramid Head, why can't we give Mommy a proper burial?"

Pyramid Head's only response was "Shut up and keep flushing."

There were no survivors.

oh shit it's rape o'clock.

rape o'cock you mean

>>859151
the moral to the story; don't shoot unless you like buttsex

I had just eaten the worst meal in my life and had to say something.

"Is everything okay?" Pyramid head asked.

"No," I replied. "The chicken is so tough, you can't cut it with a knife."

"I'm so sorry," he said, "Can I bring you a different knife?"

There were no survivors.

>>859219
i lol'd so hard

They're all good but OP still WINRAR.

A captain of a ship is attacked by pirates and screams:

"Bring me my red shirt!"

His crewmate brings him his red shirt and they fight victoriously.

The next day they're attacked by ten pirates and the captain screams:

"Being me my red shirt!"

The crewmate does, and again they're victorious.

That night the crewmate who keeps bringing the captain his red shirt asks him, "Why do you need your red shirt every time you fight?"

The captain says, "If I bleed, it doesn't show on my shirt, so my crew sees me fighting victoriously so they fight victoriously too."

The next day, Pyramid Head attacks.

The captain yells, "Bring me my brown pants!"

There were no survivors.

Pedobear and Pyramid Head decide to get together and do lunch.

Pyramid Head suggested a daycare center.

There where no leftovers.

Three women were found guilty of murder and sentenced to death by firing squad. They were all lined up when the brunette yelled "TORNADO!", distracting everyone long enough for her to escape. The remaining two were lined up again, but the redhead yelled "TERRORISTS!" She was able to escape in the subsequent pandemonium. The only one left was the blond. She yelled "PYRAMID HEAD!"

There were no survivors.

Well, in the game (ignoring the damn movie) it could be argued that PH is just Jame's sexual frustration pent up. So, this story actually makes sense to me.

Bella Swan and Edward Cullen decided to honeymoon in a little town called Silent Hill. They were shocked to find it deserted, but after a lot of poorly-described mood swings and bitching they came upon a strange man wearing a pyramid-shaped helmet. They questioned him, and when he remained silent save for some irritated grunts, Edward lost his temper. Pyramid Head caught his fist in the air, crushed it like an overripe fruit, and reached for his knife.

There were no survivors.

>>858936
I lol'd...hard

bump for moar

>>859289

>>859289
bwahahaha. fuuuuuck that was the best one yet.

stricken with faggotry

damn i wanna get raped

Alternative ending.

A year later after recovering from his anal massacre he goes to Silent Hill again, spots something in the mist and shoots, when he comes near he notice it was Pyramid Head. Then a nurse comes out and rapes him.

>>860457

I would give ANYTHING to be raped by a Silent Hill nurse.

did anyone notice that the bad guy in the movie version of hellboy 2 beat the shit out of a swarm of pyramid heads in his father's court? what a terrible movie.

>>858953
Hell, I'm gay for pyramid head.
There were no survivors.

>>860459

http://tinyurl.com/672ewp

In the darkness of the long forgotten temple, the two stood side by side, waiting. The distant footfalls echoed in the cold stone room as the challenger appproached. His stride confident, his head held high, his eyes aglow: a new Hero would attempt to rid the world of a this demonic being as so many had tried before.

"So, we meet for the final time. Prepare yourself!" the young man called, defiantly. "You have taken enough innocents from my land!"

Pyramid Head walked off to the side in the shadows to watch the showdown between the two: One, a legend from the land of nightmares, a being both mysterious and terrible that was perhaps as old as Pyramid Head himself.

And the other, this... newcomer. Some sort of self-proclaimed hero in a time when humanity didn't believe in heroes. A young man whose latent powers had been awoken by downloading the entire internet into his brain.
<continued>

>>860643
moar!

>>859228
Hey, Tom.

>>860643
Pyramid Head watched in amazement as the battle raged on. Never had anyone lasted longer than 2 minutes in such a challenge, yet this young hero preternatural speed and jumping ability... Pyramid Head straightened up and prepared to step in should his old friend begin to waver.

Thunderous blows and flashes of light, power crackling from the hands of the fighters, the earth quaking underfoot as lose stones dropped from the ceiling. The stone walls groaned and shuddered before exploding into fragments, unable to withstand the residual energies from the two. The temple was being destroyed from the inside, and the outcome of the battle could not yet be determined.

However, as far as Pyramid Head was concerned, it had gone on long enough. The young Hero may yet have been a match for one them, but together they would destroy him. He raised his great knife and charged forward toward the Hero's turned back.

<continued>

>>860662
MOAR

>>860662
Just as Pyramid Head reached striking range, the Hero turned to face him, and with a smirk, easily dodged his swing.

"It doesn't surprise me in the least that you two work together. Luckily, the elders prepared me with the Freakalair Crystal!" The youth held up the glowing blood red shard, attached to a chain of silver.

Pyramid Head wheeled back in shock. The famed Crystal, the one Artifact capable of destroying them both! But how had it been retrieved?!

"So, Red Pyramid, I shall destroy you too with your twisted friend, CandleJack." The youth's eyes glowed brighter as he intoned the sacred phrase.

"@[=g3,8d]\&fbb=-q]/hk%fg"

There were no su

>>860691

>>860691
OH SHI-

EPIC LULZ WERE EPIC.

Thank you Anon. And FUCK YOU FOR ALMOST MAKING ME SHIT FROM LOL-ing

>>860703
I know somewhere somebody needs to go back to.

There were no survivors.

>>860706

>There will be no survivors

I read this joke in Maxim, except it was about a guy hunting bears.

>>859345
Candlejack would have made more se

Scotsman, Englishman and an pyramid head find a wizard on the top of a tall cliff. The wizard orders them to jump off the cliff, but he also promises that if they say anything while falling, they will get it at the bottom of the cliff. So first, the Englishman jumps off the cliff and shouts, "Pillows!" and so he lands on some pillows. Then the Scotsman jumps off the cliff, and he shouts, "Hay!" and so he lands on some hay. Finally the pyramid head runs to jump off the cliff, but he trips on a rock just before the jump and says, "There were no survivors".

i came

What the fuck is this massive and blatant faggotry.

>>860929

Pyramid head walks into a bar.
The bartender says "Hey pal, why the long face?"

There were no survivors.

>>860976

I lol'd.

>>860943
its no use. everyone's gay for PH

>>860976

God I lol'd.

>>860976
What the shit? Light has a Tripple!

>>858890
I hate you so much, I can't stop laughing jesus fuck ow.

>>860510
Second :(

>>860700
Where's that from again? What show was that?

Two men were hunting in the woods. One of them fell over while running, a stricken look on his face. His companion took his pulse, felt nothing, and observed that he was not breathing. Horrified, he fumbled for his cell phone and dialed 911. He told the person on the other end that he thought his friend died of a heart attack. "I'm so sorry," they replied, "Give us your location and we'll send over an expert to make sure he's really dead." Pyramid Head was there within minutes.

There were no survivors.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0WETJRPhIw
Mighty fuck, how I lol'd when I first saw this. Makes me want to watch Young Frankenstein.

We need MOAR Pyramid Head.

Three guesses as to what's going to happen next in this picture...

>>863136
I bet it has to do with rainbows and magic.
GOD HOW I WANT IT TO BE ABOUT HIS DICK
i would seriously die to get fucked by him :(

>>863136
First guess: PH cuts her hair into a trendy Vidal bob and gives her color with dark red ochre on the roots and deep ruby for highlights.

2: After freeing the distressed lady, PH confesses his undying love and affection. The woman overcome by his act of heroism gives in. At first she is apprehensive of his intention mostly due to his appearance. In time though she learns that a gentle spirit dwells in that horrible shape of a man and inside that pyramid of a head is a creative mind. The woman convinces PH to go to art school. In a few years time, he becomes a world renowned artist. His murals adorn the church they got married in.

3: He rapes her. He rapes her so hard that her cunt starts to bleed. The pain overwhelms her, drowning her, numbing every other sensation she has save for his monstrous manhood ramming the walls of her throbbing vagina. "Kill me!" she pleads. The monster pays no mind to her screams. Soon her deafening wails become moans. She is numb, his thrusting pelvis is the beat of her heart. Her vision darkens as her frail body yields to death. She whispers with her dying breath, "moar raep plox."

there were no survivors

>>863394
Tru, tru.

Pyramid head is so hardcore, he uses rapex as a masterbation device.

>>863379

tl;dr

Pyramid Head and his Meats.

Why did Pyramid Head shoot Hitler?

He saw the price of their gas bill.

There were no survivors.

>>863540

Adorable.

>>863411

Pyramid Head, Chuck Norris of /x/

>>860457

Alternative Ending 2

A year later after recovering from his anal massacre he goes to Silent Hill again, spots something in the mist and shoots, when he comes near he notice its Pyramid Head. Then an alien comes and takes him away in a UFO.

The FBI says were no survivors.

>>863540
Ah haha little!Pyramid Head


Have another

pyramid head was bored so he turned on the radio
the song was Rape Me by Nirvana
There were no survivors.

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is Pyramid Head".

There were no survivors.

Pyramid head was in france, he was eating from a french cafe, a pancake, he noticed that the pancake in french was 'Crepe' which rhymed with 'repe' which sounded like rape.

Nobody survived, not even the younglings.

>>863607

you should have said

"THEN WHO WAS SURVIVORS?"

>>863820
I lol'd

/x/, what is this obsession that people have with pyramid head? He's not that scary. I mean, seriously, a guy with a really big knife? Death & Mutilation != Scary to me. Especially since his form is just a regular human with an apron and a funky hat. If you really wanted to scare me you'd have to do somethiOH HOLY FUCK PYRAMID HEAD IS IN MY HOUSE! NOW HE'S CHOPPING MY LEGS OFF WHILE I TYPE! IT'S SO FUCKING GRUESOME! AGHHH NOW HE'S SLICING OUT MY INTESTINES AND CHOKING ME WITH MY OWN INTESTINES! SHIT, THIS IS HORRIBLE!!!!! OH SWEET BABY FUCKING JESUS HE'S CHOPPING OFF MY HEAD! YET SOMEHOW I AM STILL TYPING!!! ARRRGHGFHGngnhkgnhkgfllll......ssfd...ddddddddddddddddddddddd

There were no survivors.

Once upon a time, Pyramid Head went to a furry convention just to see what it was like.

There were no survivors.

>>860780
WHY WOULD YOU TAINT THIS THREAD WITH YOUR FAGGOTRY. GTFO NOW.

i love this thread so much!

>>863938

We love PH not because he is scary, its because of everything he represents.

Specially the rape part, we would all want either to be him or be raped by him

Pyramid Head wants YOU

There will be no survivors.

>>864326

That picture made me cry.

>>862052

>>864429
Thats retarded.

ANAL MASSACRE ANAL MASSACRE ANAL MASSACRE

>>864326
Fuck you, man, FUCK YOU.

Waaaait a minute. in SH2 there was that chick who was already raeped. Why didn't Pyramid head raep her?

>>864516
Is that the creepy SCP 173 (or some other #) that only moves when you arent looking at it?

Oh sorry, by "creepy", I mean fake.

No survivors? Then where do the stories come from, I wonder?

>>864727
Holy shit his dick is actually tiny

I guess that would explain the sword

>>864661
Have you even played it?

>>863556
Better Alternative ending;

A year later after recovering from his anal massacre he goes to Silent Hill again, spots something in the mist and shoots, when he comes near he notice its Pyramid Head. Then a nurse comes and rapes him.

However, Pyramid head wasn't dead, so he rapes them too.

There were no survivors.

>>864626
ffffffffffffffffffffffff that was so beautiful I cried

>>863379
Jesus Christ, I lol'd

Say, /x/, do you know what time it is?

>>859228
u took that off of some comedy central comedian jackoff.

>>866056
And he took it out of a joke book. It's a really old joke.

>>866056
>>866062

Every repost is a repost?

Two muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Wow, it's really hot in here." The other muffin replied, "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"
Pyramid Head, hungry after a long day of raping, followed the delicious smell of baking muffins all the way to the kitchen.

There were no survivors.

Pyramid head posted in this thread.

There were no survivors.

>>860971
Didn't lul until his one.

Pyramid Head found some survivors.

There were no survivors.

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
Jus then Pyramid hangs up teh phone.

There were no survivors.

What's worse that finding a worm in your apple?

Pyramid Head.

There were no survivors