sounds like you got raped when you were young and now your brain tries to forget this fact

For a depressed chick, she sure is showing off a lot of midrift!

Op here.

No sorry, never been raped.

I've never really had to fear anything during my life but i still have this feeling, as if someone was watching me.

>>886776
your father here. yes you got raped. sry for that

>>886780

Pretty sure my father wouldn't be perusing the internet at this time of night.

Plus the fact he is basically technologically illiterate.

1/2 a lol though.

>>1/2 a lol though.
wow thanks!

>>886761

Ever since I was young, I had feelings that I was special, that I was destined for greatness, that I might be the Chosen One.

Now, I'm 23, a virgin, 70 pounds overweight, cut off from my friends, and haven't worked in almost a year.

You're going to be fine.

You will die gay.

spirits? ghosts?

>>886838
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
I feel the same way as i am special or set apart from the rest.
fuck you anon

>>886761
Sounds like an anxiety disorder. Bugger all people can do about it short of meds that leave you constantly blank.

Also; Kick the person who said it was a ghost in the nuts.

>>886838

Honestly, I've had feelings that I was/am meant to do/be something, nothing spectacular, but just something, in some moment, will show people and define me as a person.

And your only 5 years older than me, I could become like you if what you said was true. Your still quite young, anything could happen to the both of us.

Maybe you get out of your slump and the self satisfaction that comes from it is your calling, even if not, you might go on to be something more.

>>886883

Shite. Forgot to put 'Op here:' or whatever.

>>886866

Op here: I thought about the anxiety thing, I have been diagnosed with clinical depression and during that I learned about how anxiety was closely related to it, or that's what I was told anyway.

It could be an idea, but I had the feeling of being lurked and followed ever since i can remember, and that was a long time before the events which caused my moods to change.

>>886773

Secretly she wants it.

>>886883

"Redemption only exists in the plots of video games and movies. Nowhere else.

Don't fight it. You won't feel any better for it, anyway. Just lie down on the conveyer belt and let life pass you by."

I typed that five minutes ago. I was going to submit it, then I stopped and gave it some thought.

You're 18. I look back at when I was that age. Was I one the path to what I am now? Yeah. Could I have averted it? Maybe, probably not.

I don't even have a good excuse. I graduated from college. I'm not an alcoholic, I don't use drugs, I never went to jail. Just a wasted life.

Can I change what I am now? I sure hope so. I'm in Limbo right now, but shit will get worse fast if I don't get my own shit together.

My best advice to you is to find something or someone you care about and use it as an anchor, because you'll slip away if you just try to float.

No... after some thought, I'm sure that there's no such thing as redemption. You can't redeem what you were, you can at best create a new you and cut your ties with what you used to be. If you've slid far enough, that's all you can hope for. Your best bet is to not let it get so bad in the first place.

>>886982

Op : Shit dude, you hit me then.

Not saying I know how you feel, but I've had to become mature, really quickly too.

I think I know what you mean by finding someone as an anchor, I had someone at one stage, but I too, am letting things slip and she, in the end, got sick of my 'lack of love for living', and up and left.

I found myself just the other day thinking about how, having lost her go, and living on my own, just enabled me to let everything go.

And now my lack of enthusiasm is showing. I know i'm fucking up, and I know i could get out and make something of myself, but I just can't find the will to do it.

>>887022

People make the strongest anchors, but they can be unreliable.

Goals and causes are much less strong and far less supportive, but they're consistent if you can hold to them.

Set yourself some simple, short term goals so you can get a few wins under your belt for the big goals. And make use of the friends and family you've got.

And put yourself out there, in the open. It's harder to let yourself fail when you've got people watching you.

That all said, I don't think you can learn ambition or drive. You better go out there and get to work on what you want to do before your mind decides that you just don't have it.

Hey... it is not that bad... I am 20 years old, virgin, used to be skinny but now I grew a belly.

I too had dreams of grandeur, I thought that I was special, then came puberty, then I lost interest in school, then in people and all life put together.

Now I attend a crappy university and work mondays to fridays till 9 to 6.
I don`t have time to do something. I hang out with some friends, but most of the time is the same old discussion.
I can`t show anyone any gesture of affection because I don`t now how to give them. I can`t take a gesture of affection because I don`t know how to receive it.
This is why I am still a virgin.

My only objective in life is the weekend, then comes Monday and all restarts.

I can`t say that I am in hell, but this is sure not good.

Advice? If I would know don`t you think that I would have followed it.

I used to have to close my blinds every night because I thought that someone was outside watching me, waiting to get me. I told my dad and do you know what he said?
"Sam, do you really think you're important enough that there is someone outside watching you?"
Never really had that problem again.

>>887076
lol

Op here:

>>887048

I've come to realize that too, people are usually the most attractive and easy to obtain of all anchors, but in the end they're living things and have their own lives to live out.

>>887070

Being sick of live does indeed suck, let's hope that something of a spark comes to you and you find happiness. :) Just think about it now though, You'll make it to some kick ass paying job right? And then you can just do whatever the fuck you want.

>>887076

Damn. That's one way to cure it. Tough love?

Op once again. We've gone a bit off topic.

Just one more thing that got me to thinking it could be something paranormal, is such things as hearing noises when nothing is in the house, always losing/misplacing things etc.

Isn't that poltergeist like activity?

>>887120
it's sounds more like you feel lonely and imagine activity around you where there isnt. just find yourself some friends

i think you need a shrink more than an image board

>>887123
>>887138

Maybe just human interaction, yes.

>>887113

Let me tell you about high paying jobs.... if you want a high paying job, get yourself into management.

Where I work the management get double the pay and do very little.
On the other hand the people that keep the place are payed like crap.

@ the paranormal activity. Man it could be just you`re imagination. When I was depressed I suffered from intense fear of the night/dark. I would hear/see things in my room. After t wo years from then I can`t make up my mind if it is paranormal or just hallucinations.
But I am sure of one thing, the mind can play tricks on you.

>>887198

>>887211

What's step 7???

>>887306
There are actually 3 or four parts. Four, just checked my /b/ folder.

this pic reminds me of that SCP, the one that looks like its made from paper mache... good shit

>>887418
It's made from concrete, rebar and paint. Not papier mache.

Ask your mom if you had a stillborn twin sibling or something

>>887113
Just some lovely old common sense