File :-(, x, )
SCP-001 Obvious Fag !seiN7gfUq2
Item #: SCP-001 “The Golden Rod”
Object Class: Keter

Special Contaiment Procedures:

SCP-001 should be kept away from any kind of life form at all times. SCP-001 will not be moved from its original container until a safe way for that job is found; so far all attempts have failed.


SCP-001 “The Golden Rod” origins are still unknown, it was found accidentally inside a ancient chest bought in a Egypt bazaar, so far the chest, as weak as it appears, it’s been the only container able of holding “The Golden Rod”.
SCP-001 is phallus shaped, about 14 inches long and 6 inches wide. Its materials are unknown due the lack of available ways to study it. When SCP-001 is exposed to any life form it will shake violently and make spastic movements followed by charging into the life form thrusting itself in the being’s anus, after insertion, it would vibrate at such speed it would tore the entire being’s body apart.


Five movement attempts have been tried on 1970, 1977, 1990, 1999 and 2005, on each time “The Golden Rod” would go rampant and kill everyone involved in this procedure. When there isn’t any life form near the SCP-001 it would go into its chest again.
>> Anonymous
Is that a golden dildo?
>> Anonymous
It looks more like a gold vibrator :3
>> Anonymous
Forgot to ditch your name before you samefag'd yourself there.
>> Obvious Fag !seiN7gfUq2

that wasnt my intention. just commenting of my beautiful creation
>> Anonymous
Fuck Yes.
>> Bon loves Bon !MYl45fcAHQ
I loved it.
>> Anonymous
Bump for great justice.
>> Anonymous
There are 2 options when trolling:
1. Troll intelligently
2. Troll with exaggerated stupidity

The fact that you found a middle ground implies that you're simply not competent enough to formulate sentences with proper grammar.
>> Anonymous
>> Anonymous
I have a sneaking suspicion that this is the tripfag from earlier, Pro-Newb, trying to make himself feel better. He genuinely tried to make a decent SCP... and failed miserably. The resulting honest comments about how terrible his story was embittered him and he began trolling the entire SCP concept in said earlier thread. I would think it completely believable that this person would be childish enough to start trolling SCP in a new thread simply to spite the people that support SCP and could not see what he perceives to be the brilliance of HIS unique writing style (or lack thereof) and creativity.