Parachutudinal physics was crafted to explain the intricate complexities behind Sonic X, a cheaply-produced cartoon.
In the cartoon, a character was killed; however, since it is a children's cartoon, she therefore must have a parachute, and is ok, since someone can see it.
The mechanics of this are explained by the following:
Given the surroundings (space), we can use the greater inverse vacuum law to obtain the sum (?) of the simple formula x^n, where x is the parachute transversal and n is the charge. Friction is largely negligible so it is eliminated to maintain simplicity.
Now with ?, n=2 since n initial is 1 and the parachute charge is 1 (1+1 = 2). The limit is approaching negative parachutudinal infinity, as is stated in the law of parachutudinal normality.
Taking the derivative of the formula, we find that the transversal is doubled. As this value is equal to the escape velocity, and that the transversal itself is equal to the speed of quantum implosion, we can easily see that the parachute was moving fast enough to avoid being destroyed.
However, quantum entanglement occurs due to the implosion being triggered by the parachute rescue object, and the subsequent quanta-transspatial parachute molecule reaction. Since this requires that the rescue object (in this instance, the alien) be quantum-split into two, the negative inverse of the object is ejected, as this again conforms to the greater inverse vacuum law.
However, once the object had successfully escaped destruction, the parachute could be removed. thus resetting charge to 0, and setting all states back to initial. Thus, via a quantum loophole, the rescue object is left virtually unscathed.
I hope this clears things up for you.